Blondes
by tmntyyh
Summary: Are blondes really that dumb? How long can you answer a blonde's question with another question? Do blondes really have more fun? ...And more. Reno plans on finding out...with Cloud. Warning and full summary inside. Reviews make it longer.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Blondes

Disclaimer: If I owned this would I be here? C'mon people, think!

Setting: Pick one. I'm too lazy/wired to decide.

Summary: Are blondes _really_ that dumb? How long can you answer a blonde's question with another question? Do blondes _really_ have more fun? How quickly do they react when put in a strange situation? How quickly can you annoy a blonde to the point that they scream? What is foreplay for a blonde? How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? How do you confuse a blonde? How do you keep a blonde in suspense? Reno plans on finding out...with Cloud.

Warnings: Um…hmm. Think I've used them all before-_grins_-. Basically, anything I can think up. I'll just see there my mind takes this…could be anywhere-_grins_-. If you've read any of my other stories…you know what you're in for. If not, you'll see!

Side Notes:  
1) This story will have romance at the end…or very close to it.  
2) If you have any suggestions, feel free to send them in a review.  
3) Same goes for any ideas for future chapters...ideas, suggestions; they're different in my little world.  
4) Will end in smut…as some of you who have read my fics already know!!!  
5) Each chapter will be a different question.  
6) My spelling suck...Wordpad...again...  
7) Flames will not be tolerated-_glares evilly_-. This is your only warning.

Chapter One: Questions

"Ugh!" Reno moaned as he leaned farther back in his chair. The front two legs were in the air as Reno kept himself balanced. His feet were resting on the desk while his hands were wrung through his hair. "I can't take it, yo!" Reno whined, looking over at his partner, Rude.

Rude looked over at the redhead, raising an eyebrow. "Take what?" he softly asked. Reno's eyes widened.

"You don't hear it?" He asked, looked incredulously at the bald Turk.

"Hear what?" Rude asked, listening for anything. "There's nothing to hear."

"Exactly!" Reno shouted, flailing his arms. With the sudden movement, Reno toppled backwards with the chair, landing on the laminated floor in a heap. "It's too damn silent!" Rude rolled his eyes behind his sunglasses. "Boss ain't givin' us anythin' to do, yet we still gotta be here!"

"Then come up with something," Rude suggested shrugging. Reno scowled. This was _not _how he wanted to spend his Saturday morning. Reno rose to his feet, picking up the chair, then sitting back down in it. Suddenly, Reno's pocket started to vibrate, letting him know that someone was either calling or texting him. He grinned as he pulled out the sleek, black phone.

Reno looked down at the number, seeing Cloud's name flashing above it. He grinned as he flipped it open, reading the message that the blonde had sent to him.

" Reno," the swordsman wrote, "I'll be stopping over at Shinra to pick up the package that Rufus wants me to deliver. Don't forget to make sure the item is _IN _the box this time." Reno grinned reading the message, remembering what had happened last time. Let's just say it involved the blonde, a very angry chocobo, many bruises, and Reno, rolling on the floor, laughing his ass off. All in all, it was a good day for Reno.

Reno's thought process immediately switched to focus on everyone's favorite blonde hero. All of a sudden, Reno began to wonder if the stereotypes about blondes were true. Reno smirked as he pulled out a pad of paper, writing down a list of questions.

Well, Rude _did _tell him to come up with something. And now, he had something to do. After a few minutes of writing, Reno found himself looking over the list, grinning to himself. Rude just so happened to look over at that very minute, seeing the ecstatic redhead snickering to himself.

Rude quirked an eyebrow at the smaller Turk, but decided not to press the issue. He was not sure that he even wanted to know what the other Turk was reading, seeing how, more often than not, strange things can easily amuse the redhead.

Reno began to plan which question he should try to get answered first. He noticed that one question caught his eye quickly. He began to wonder on which blonde he should try to test these questions out on. Surely not Cid, he really had _no _patience, or joy for that matter, whenever he was even remotely near the redhead.

Rufus was out of the question also. After all, Reno has seen the blonde's sense of humor, which really was not all that funny. Rufus would sooner send him on paperwork duty for the rest of his life then participate in Reno's little 'game'. Reno also could guess what the blonde would do if he found out what was going on. That left only one blonde.

Cloud. Although he was always serious and never seemed to have fun, Reno felt himself drawn to the swordsman. Reno grinned, knowing the danger that came whenever he was near him, and also the thrill. Reno's grin widened as he looked over the questions. Thinking of all the fun he could have. Reno turned to look at Rude, seeing his partner stare at him from behind the sunglasses.

"What are you doing, Reno ?" Rude calmly asked, intrigued by the redhead's enthrallment.

Reno shrugged, "I found something to do." His answer was strangely calm, which alerted the bald Turk immediately. He continued to stare at Reno, knowing that if he kept it up long enough, the energetic redhead will tell him all that he needed, and more than he wanted, to know. Reno kept his eyes on Rude, feeling the intense stare. "Oh, all right," Reno gave in. "I got some questions." Rude quirked an eyebrow at the seemingly innocent confession, knowing that there was more to be heard. "And only one guy can help me with it."

Now Rude was fully confused. Before he could ask who the person was, the door swung open, revealing the blonde swordsman turned delivery boy. Reno's grin widened even more, become slightly eerie. "And here he is!" Rude's eyes widened, hearing that Cloud was going to be a part of the Turk's twisted little games he often played on the other members of Shinra. Mainly because the games never ended very well.

"I'm here, Reno," Cloud said, looking around the room suspiciously, as if he were about to be attacked by something that was hiding behind the desks or the plastic, dusty trees. "Where's the package?" Reno stealthily looked at his watch.

Reno's face immediately changed, becoming more confused. "What package?" Reno asked.

Cloud raised an eyebrow at the redhead. "The one Rufus wanted me to pick up," Cloud said, looking carefully at Reno.

"And which one is that, yo?" Reno asked, stopping himself from grinning and giving himself away.

"...Is he alright?" Cloud asked, looking at Rude. Rude shrugged, not knowing what to say about his partner's actions. "Reno, stop joking around, where's the package?"

"What package?" Reno said, keeping a straight face. Cloud was now staring at Reno as if he was going to sprout wings and fly away.

"...The one Rufus _gave _you?" Cloud asked, noy sure what was going on.

"Which one was that again?" Reno asked, laughing mentally at Cloud's confused look.

"I...don't...I don't know," Cloud admitted, wondering what was going on. "Can you call Rufus down here?"

"Who?" Reno asked, getting even stranger looks from the two. Reno felt like he was going to die of laughter at the sight of Cloud's confusion.

"...Were you hit in the head recently, Reno?" Cloud asked, looking at Reno for any bandages.

"Why?" Reno asked, knowing how Cloud would respond.

"Well," Cloud said, not sure if the slim Turk had lost his mind. "You just forgot who your _boss _is."

"Do_ you _know who _your _boss is?" Reno asked, knowing that Cloud was now stumped.

"Reno," Cloud said warily. "I don't _have _a boss."

"Are you sure?" Reno asked, raising his slender eyebrows at the blonde. Rude shook his head, relaxing into his chair as he watched the exchange, pulling out a candy bar from his drawer. He slowly ate the snack, keeping his eyes on the two.

Cloud paused, not quite sure ow to answer that. "...What are you saying?"

"What are you hearing?" Reno quickly asked, seeing Cloud's puzzled expression.

"...What?" Cloud asked, feeling a headache begin to form behind his eyes. "...This is giving me a headache."

"How so?" Reno asked, feeling like he had made the right choice when picking Cloud as _the _blonde.

"..." Cloud was silent, trying to think of how to answer the redhead. "You're confusing me..."

"Really?" Reno asked, tilting his head to the side as he saw Cloud nod.

"Yeah," Cloud admitted, rubbing his forehead in small circles. "Tell Rufus I'll come by tomorrow."

Rude nodded, but Reno continued. "Don't you wanna see him?" Reno asked.

"...Later," Cloud said, still looking at Reno suspiciously. "Something _is _going on here."

"Really?" Reno asked, feining excitement. "What's goin' on here, yo?"

Cloud eyed the redhead carefully again. "I'll...see you, later." Cloud said, not knowing how to answer the question as his head thribbed painfully. Reno waved at Cloud as he turned away.

"You gonna call first?" Reno asked, seeing Cloud stop and look back at him.

"...Sure," Cloud said, turning back around and leaving the room. As soon as he was gone, Reno chuckled as he plopped down on his seat. Rude was now focusing all of his attention on the slim Turk.

"What was that about, Reno?" Rude asked, watching as Reno looked down at his watch, still chuckling softly to himself. Reno then picked up his pencil and notebook, writing down a note to himself.

Reno turned to face Rude, grinning from ear to ear. "I found something to keep myself busy with," Reno said glibbly. Rude let the topic lie, turning back to his own devices, leaving the redhead with his thoughts. Reno smirked as he read what he wrote. On his list, the question: How long can you answer a blonde's question with another question?, was checked off with a little comment, saying, Four minutes, forty-nine minutes!

Reno then looked over his list, picking out another question. he put a star next to the question just as the door swung open. The two Turks looked up, seeing Tseng standing there. "You both can head home now," Tseng said before turning and walking away.

Reno grinned, cheering mainly to himself. They left the building together, and headed to their own apartments. Later that night, while Reno was lying in bed, he started to plan how he would get Cloud to answer his second question. Reno yawned, covering his mouth. He rolled onto his side, smiling as he fell asleep, dreaming about the mental roller coaster Cloud was going to go on tomorrow.

**End of Chapter One**

Review for the next chapter.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Blondes

Disclaimer: If I owned this would I be here? C'mon people, think!

Setting: Pick one. I'm too lazy to decide.

Summary: Are blondes _really_ that dumb? How long can you answer a blonde's question with another question? Do blondes _really_ have more fun? How quickly do they react when put in a strange situation? How quickly can you annoy a blonde to the point that they scream? What is foreplay for a blonde? How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? How do you confuse a blonde? How do you keep a blonde in suspense? Reno plans on finding out...with Cloud.

Warnings: Um…hmm. Think I've used them all before-_grins_-. Basically, anything I can think up. I'll just see there my mind takes this…could be anywhere-_grins_-. If you've read any of my other stories…you know what you're in for. If not, you'll see!

Side Notes:  
1) This story will have romance at the end…or very close to it.  
2) If you have any suggestions, feel free to send them in a review.  
3) Same goes for any ideas for future chapters...ideas, suggestions; they're different in my little world.  
4) Will end in smut…as some of you who have read my fics already know!!!  
5) Each chapter will be a different question.  
6) My spelling sucks...Wordpad...again...  
7) Flames will not be tolerated-_glares evilly_-. This is your only warning.

Chapter Two: Fear

Reno woke up due to his alarm clock blaring. He was tempted to throw the clock across the room, shattering it into a million pieces, but he stopped when he remembered what was going on today. Reno jumped up from his bed, happy. He turned off the alarm and headed to the bathroom, not bothering to close the door behind him.

Reno pulled down his pants, relieving himself. He flushed the toilet before taking off all of his clothes, throwing them into the hamper nearby. He pulled out his silver hair tie, putting it down next to the sink and leaving in his earring. Then, Reno, standing outside of the shower, turned the water on as hot as it could be. He stood still, impatiently waiting for the water to heat up before stepping into the tub.

Reno did not stand under the stream of water, though. Knowing how hot the water was, the amount of steam was a huge clue, he reached around it. He grabbed the chill, metal knob, turning down the heat and stepping into the stream of water.

The tub had heated underneath the intense heat of the water, making Reno's feet stick to the tub, a bit of the skin fusing to the tub. Reno shifted, unsticking his feet. Reno relaxed underneath the hot water, feeling calm. He reached over and picked up the bar of blue soap. Reno quickly lathered himself up, letting the hot water wash the suds away.

Soon, Reno had adjusted to the heat and he had to turn up the heat again. Feeling the delicious burn of the water, Reno put down the soap and grabbed his shampoo. He flipped open the cap and breathed deeply, taking in the scent of blueberries. He lathered his long hair quickly, then rinsed it out and repeated the process with his conditioner. Halfway through this, Reno had to turn up the heat again.

When Reno was finished, he turned off the water and stepped out of the steamy shower. He reached over and grabbed his fluffy, white towel. He dries off and stepped out of the bathroom, toweling his hair. Reno walked over to his closet, naked. He opened his dresser and pulled out an off-white, button-up shirt, black, dress pants, and a pair of light blue boxers.

Reno got dressed quickly, wanting to meet Cloud soon. He went back to toweling his hair dry as he walked back into the bathroom. He hung the towel back up, after wiping the mirror clean, and grabbed his hair tie. Reno pulled back his long hair, grinning at himself in the mirror. He then brushed his teeth and left the bathroom to get his goggles.

Reno slipped them on and left his room. On his way to the front door, Reno grabbed his keys and slid on his black jacket. Reno then went over to the refrigerator, looking for something to eat. He grabbed an apple, thinking that he should really do some shopping tonight. Mainly because all he had was a few apples, liquor, and some bread.

He was tempted to drink some of the liqour, but he remembered that Tseng threatened to castrate him if he came to work plastered. This made Reno pout as he left the building, holding onto the chilled apple. Reno bit into it and cringed. Reno shuddered as his teeth and gums froze. He glared at the apple as walked down the sidewalk.

Once the apple was warm enough, Reno finished eating it. He threw the core onto the street, not caring where it landed. On his way to Shinra Corp., Reno had to pass Seventh Heaven, Tifa's bar. Reno grinned as he approached the bar. He knew that he could not drink, thanks to Tseng, so he decided to go check on the blonde. Reno silently climbed up the fire escape, not wanting to get caught.

Reno reached what he believed to be Cloud's room. He slid in through the open window. Looking around the room, Reno noticed that no one was in the room. He saw Cloud's sword, grinning. His grin widened as he saw a small, blue book resting on the bed.

Reno crept over to the book, making sure to make as little noise as possible. He picked up the book and flipped to the first page. As he skimmed the page, Reno's grin widened even more as he realized that it was a diary. Reno flipped to the last page, reading what the blonde had wrote.

Cloud mainly wrote about his "strange" meeting with the redhead. But the last few sentences were about his dream. Reno's eyebrow rose as he read about this dream. He closed the book, making sure that he put it back in the place he found it. Reno left as silently as he came.

Once he was ten feet away from the bar, Reno ran down the street, laughing maniacally. Reno ran all the way to Shinra Corp., not wanting to be late. Once Reno had reached his office with Rude, he collapsed into his chair, wiping away the tears in his eyes as he started to stop laughing.

Rude looked at Reno questioningly. Reno waved him off, finally calming down. As Reno relaxed, Cloud entered the room. Reno kept a straight face, with much difficulty, as Cloud looked him over. Cloud was trying to tell if Reno was all right today.

"Feeling better today, Reno?" Cloud asked. Reno grinned as he nodded, still trying not to laugh.

"Fine, yo," Reno answered, smiling. Reno pulled out a plain brown box, the edges sealed with clear tape, and it was labeled 'fragile'. Cloud looked at the box suspiciously. "Don't worry, Cloudy," Reno said, seeing Cloud glare at him for the nickname. "It ain't gonna...blow up."

Rude rolled his eyes as he stood up, carrying a folder. Rude walked out of the office, not wanting to be caught in this 'game'. "Where does this have to go?" Cloud asked, still eyeing the redhead and the box.

"The circus that's in town," Reno said, carefully watching the blonde.

Cloud's eyes widened. "The c-circus?" Cloud stuttered. Reno nodded, snickering in his head.

"Yup!" Reno said, acting like he did not see the shocked expression on the blonde's face. "There's a clown there named 'Happy', he'll take it from there." Cloud's eyes widened even more.

"H...Happy?" Cloud stuttered again. Reno quirked an eyebrow at him.

"What? Scared?" Reno asked, seeing Cloud glare at him immediately. "Hey, if you're lucky, he might perform for you!" Cloud's expression turned to fear as he heard the redhead's words.

"...P-perform?!"

"Well, what else do you expect a clown to do? Magic tricks?" Cloud stood still, glued to the spot.

"..." Cloud did not answer. Instead, he just stared blankly at the Turk.

"You okay there, Chocobo-Head?" Reno asked, laughing inside of his head. Cloud nodded slowly. Reno handed him the box and Cloud carefully looked at it as he held it.

"...What's in it?" Cloud asked.

Reno grinned again, saying, "The head of an ass."

Cloud's eyes widened as he looked at the redhead incredulously. "WHAT?!?"

"I said: Some red glass," Reno said, changing what he said, just to mess with the blonde. Cloud shook his head. "You feelin' all right?"

"...Sure. I think I should go deliver this."

"See you, Cloudy!" Reno energetically waved goodbye to Cloud, who actually waved back. "..OH! Make sure 'Happy' gets his head!" Cloud stopped and the box crashed to the ground. The item in the box shattered, but that went ignored.

"What?!" Cloud asked in a squeaky, high voice.

"You need to get your hearing checked, yo," Reno said as he relaxed. "And go take that to Rufus, he'll get you a replacement." Cloud picked up the package, seeing Reno write something down. "See you later!"

"See you, Reno," Cloud said shakily. He stole one last glance at the redhead before walking out of the room. Reno snickered out loud as he checked off the question: What does a blonde fear?. Next to it he wrote: Cloud fears clowns (Thinks they'll decaitate him)! Reno looked over the list, deciding what question he would have answered the next time he saw Cloud.

Rude walked in, looking at Reno suspiciously. "Why did Cloud look scared shitless when he left you?" Rude asked, sitting down in his chair.

"Maybe he was thinkin' of his life without me in it, yo," Reno commented, shrugging non-committingly. Rude let the subject lie and they went on with their day.

End of Chapter Two

Review for the next chapter. I came up with this question last night-_smiles proudly_-.

Wow, seven reviews already! I feel so loved-_smiles_-.

**YaoiFanatic2**: Glad you love it, sweetie!

**Secret4eyes**: -_Grins_-I'm blonde...and we do. Soon enough?

**SleighBells**: Cloud is adorably dumb...he pulls it off oh so well.

**Lady Da's Brain**: Reno's a cute ass, though...with a tight ass! -_Grins sheepishly_-Yeah, I realized that it wrote that a little too late. I'll go back and fix it later.

**Demonchildssister**: -_Winks_- I'd have to know you better, sweetheart! I'll continue the fic.

**Deinde**: Reno's fun all right! ...That's okay! I have a few others in storage! ...It sounds like I have a warehouse...

**lacyrelic**: -_Is severely confused_-Um...thanks...I think. I put this up yesterday, though. But I'll update as soon as I can.


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Blondes

Disclaimer: If I owned this would I be here? C'mon people, think!

Setting: Pick one. I'm too lazy to decide.

Summary: Are blondes _really_ that dumb? How long can you answer a blonde's question with another question? Do blondes _really_ have more fun? How quickly do they react when put in a strange situation? How quickly can you annoy a blonde to the point that they scream? What is foreplay for a blonde? How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? How do you confuse a blonde? How do you keep a blonde in suspense? Reno plans on finding out...with Cloud.

Warnings: Um…hmm. Think I've used them all before-_grins_-. Basically, anything I can think up. I'll just see there my mind takes this…could be anywhere-_grins_-. If you've read any of my other stories…you know what you're in for. If not, you'll see!

Side Notes:  
1) This story will have romance at the end…or very close to it.  
2) If you have any suggestions, feel free to send them in a review.  
3) Same goes for any ideas for future chapters...ideas, suggestions; they're different in my little world.  
4) Will end in smut…as some of you who have read my fics already know!!!  
5) Each chapter will be a different question.  
6) My spelling sucks...Wordpad...again...  
7) Flames will not be tolerated-_glares evilly_-. This is your only warning.

Chapter Three: Annoy

It was later in the afternoon when the door to Reno and Rude's office was thrown open, causing the handle to crash into the wall, leaving a large dent. At the sound, Reno was startled awake, falling off of his chair, which was balanced on the two back legs again while his feet were resting on top of the desk and his hands were folded behind his head.

Cloud stormed into the room, furious. Rude's eyes were wide as he glanced at the blonde. Rude quickly left the room, laughing once he felt he was at a safe distance. Reno glanced up at the enraged blonde and began to laugh loudly, tears coming to his eyes.

Cloud was glaring at the redhead. His face was coverd in face paint, dressing him up as a chocobo. His face was painted bright yellow, the same shade as his hair, while black circles went around the full length of his eyes and his mouth and nose were apinted bright orange, forming a beak with two black dots for the nostrils.

Reno clutched his chest, tears leaking from his eyes. "Stop!" Reno begged. "Stop! I-can't-fuckin'-breathe!! ...Stop, please!" Reno was rolling on the floor, laughing histerically. Cloud's eye twitched as he snarled.

"IT'S. NOT. FUNNY." Cloud bit out, seeing Reno laugh even louder. Unknown to Cloud, who was still seething in anger, Reno glanced down at his watch. "You set me up." He growled, watching as the redhead slowly rose to his feet.

"Why would _I _do something like that?" Reno balked, still snickering as he looked at the angry expression on Cloud's whimsical face.

Cloud looked at Reno, searching for anything different. "Because...you're..._you_," Cloud answered, seeing Reno's eyes widen in mock hurt.

"You wound me, Chocobo-Head," Reno said, then burst into a fit of laughter. "...Chocobo-Head...you really look like one, now!"

Cloud growled at the chuckling redhead. "Reno," Cloud snarled. "It won't come off."

This caught Reno's attention, making him snicker again. "Soap might help get it off," Reno quipped, seeing Cloud's eye twitch again.

"I've already tried that," Cloud snapped. "It _won't _come _off_." Cloud sounded almost like he was whining.

"Did you scrub? ..._Really _hard?" Reno asked, already knowing the answer, but wanting to hear it straight from the chocobo's beak.

"Reno," Cloud snapped, his eyes narrowing. "Don't you think I've already tried that?"

"...Maybe..."

"Reno," Cloud dragged out his name, letting Reno know that the blonde was getting even more annoyed as they progressed in the conversation. "..._Think _of _something else_."

"...Hmm..." Reno stalled, trying to think of something that would get Cloud to yell, instead of helping the upset blonde. "Don't know, yo. After all, I'm just a Turk! ...Maybe Teefs would know somethin'!"

Cloud's eyes widened as he growled, "...Don't even think about it."

"Vince, then?"

"Reno..."

"I got it! Cid! He'll have the perfect thing!"

"Reno, not another word about the others. They _can't _find out about this."

"...Why not? Ain't you guys friends?" Cloud nodded.

"Of couse we are. It's just...well..."

"Oh, I get it! You're embarassed!" Cloud's eyes widened as he stared at the redhead. "Aww, little Cloudy's fearful of what his wittle fwiends will think!"

"Reno..."

"...Maybe we can send them a picture instead!"

"RENO..."

"Hm?"

"Shut up."

"But what about-?"

"No. Just help me come up with a way to get this off."

"..."

"...Please?"

"Sure! ...Paint thinner?"

"Reno..."

"Okay, okay! Sheesh! ...We could always peel it off."

"Would the paint be thick enough for that?"

"If 'Happy' used the kind of paint I told him too, why not?"

"RENO!!!" Reno looked down at his watch, memorzing the time that it took.

"What?" Before Reno could ask anything else, Cloud hand tackled him to the floor. Reno let out a yelp before they tumbled to the floor. Reno smacked his head onto the floor with a loud crack and Cloud's head crashed into his forehead, hurting the both of them at the same time.

"FUCK!" Reno groaned out as he held his hand with one hand, the other was used in a feeble attempt to get Cloud off of him. Cloud was also holding onto his head, groaning in pain. "...Get offa me, yo!" Cloud rolled off of Reno and lied down next to him, the both of them trying to get rid of the bright, colorful spots that danced before their eyes.

"Although you deserved it," Cloud slowly said. "Are you all right?"

Reno cracked open one eye, but quickly shut it as his head protested the light. "...Fuckin' peachy!" Cloud was able to squint into the light, his head throbbing.Cloud slowly sat up, still holding onto his head. He glanced over to Reno, who was finally able to open his eyes. Cloud extended his hand to the redhead and helped him sit up. "You're head's hard as a fuckin' rock, Cloudy," Reno whined, massaging his sore head.

"It was your fault."

"The fuck you get that?!"

"Just, help me get this off," Cloud said, quickly changing the subject.

"Fine, but you owe me, Chocobo-head."

"How do you get that? This is ALL _your _fault!"

"Stop tryin' to play the blame game an' sit still." Cloud sat completely still as reno began to peel up and edge of the paint with his fingernails. Once he was able to get a good hold on it, he turned to face Cloud. "Quick or slow?"

"Quick."

"Count of five?"

"...Why not?"

"One." Reno tightened his grip as he spoke.

"Two." Cloud said, taking slow, deep breaths.

"Three." Reno said as he ripped the paint off of Cloud's face. Cloud sat there for about a milisecond before hollering in pain.

"THE HELL, RENO!?!" Cloud shouted as he covered his face with his hands. "YOU SAID FIVE!!!"

"Expect the unexpected! You were in Soldier, thought you would remember Lesson Number One."

"Still!! Fuckin' hurts like a bitch!"

"Got it off didn't I?"

"...Yeah. You did."

"Don't I get a "Thank you, Reno. I am eternally grateful"?"

"Thanks, but don't push it."

"Okay, okay."

"Really though, thanks, Reno." Reno grinned brightly.

"Yer welcome, Cloudy!"

"But, do that again and I'll have to hurt you."

"Gotchya!"

"Good." Cloud rose to his feet, dusting himself off before helping Reno get to his feet. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"See ya, Chocobo-Head!" Reno dusted himself off before waving goodbye to the blonde. Cloud waved also, and even smiled slightly at the Turk. Reno grinned to himself before righting his chair and sitting in it as Cloud left Shinra Corp.

Reno picked up his small notebook and checked off the question: How quickly can you annoy a blonde to the point that they scream?, grining to himself. Next to it, Reno wrote: six minutes, thirty-nine seconds. Never try again! Very painful!

Reno sat by himself for the next twenty minutes, picking out the next question for his encounter with Cloud. Just as he had chosen his question and 'star'ed it, Rude came in, breathing heavily as he sat down, wiping tears from his eyes.

"You?" Rude asked, looking at Reno, who grinned triumphantly.

"Me!"

End of Chapter Three

Review for the next chapter. I loved this chapter, it made me happy. Wow, you guys, and gals, review quickly!

**YaoiFanatic2**: Poor, little Cloud is so much fun when he's confuzzled!

**Toons**: Neither can I! Here, you go, honey!

**Deinde**: Yup! -_Laughs_-What's it like undercover?

**Secret4eyes**: Reno ALWAYS has fun, blonde or not! Thanks! I just have fun, didn't really care this time!

**Demonchildssister**: Sorry, sweetheart. Maybe later-_winks_-! Glad you liked it, though!


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Blondes

Disclaimer: If I owned this would I be here? C'mon people, think!

Setting: Pick one. I'm too lazy/wired to decide.

Summary: Are blondes _really_ that dumb? How long can you answer a blonde's question with another question? Do blondes _really_ have more fun? How quickly do they react when put in a strange situation? How quickly can you annoy a blonde to the point that they scream? What is foreplay for a blonde? How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? How do you confuse a blonde? How do you keep a blonde in suspense? Reno plans on finding out...with Cloud.

Warnings: Um…hmm. Think I've used them all before-_grins_-. Basically, anything I can think up. I'll just see there my mind takes this…could be anywhere-_grins_-. If you've read any of my other stories…you know what you're in for. If not, you'll see!

Side Notes:  
1) This story will have romance at the end…or very close to it.  
2) If you have any suggestions, feel free to send them in a review.  
3) Same goes for any ideas for future chapters...ideas, suggestions; they're different in my little world.  
4) Will end in smut…as some of you who have read my fics already know!!!  
5) Each chapter will be a different question.  
6) My spelling sucks...Wordpad...again...  
7) Flames will not be tolerated-_glares evilly_-. This is your only warning.

**Chapter Four: Wait**

Reno ended up leaving ShinRa Corp. around eleven at night. Yawning, he collapsed on top of his bed as soon as he saw it. He slowly pulled off his goggles and set them down on his bedside table, right next to his alarm clock. Once they were off, he proceed to pass out, sleeping happily.

A loud knocking startled him awake. Thinking that something was wrong with his clock, Reno picked it up, looking at the time. "One in the mornin'?!" Reno moaned, dropping it back onto the table as he pulled his blankets around him tighter, trying to fall back asleep. The knocking persisted, making the redhead moan again. "Not now," he whined, his tired mind unable to grasp the fact that the person knocking could not hear him. "...Come back later, yo!"

The knocking only got louder, and with that, Reno rolled out of bed. Hitting the floor with a dull thud, he groaned. "...Fine! Dammit, I'm comin'!" He slowly untangled himself from his blankets and got to his feet. Slowly walking to the door, he was muttering, "This better be good," to himself.

Unlocking the bolt and chain, he opened the door the reveal Cloud. "Cloudy? ...What'ch you doin' here, yo?" Cloud fidgeted, gaining Reno's attention.

"Um..." Cloud started to explain his reason, but stopped.

"Um..., what?" Reno insisted, wanting to know why the blonde had decided to stop by his apartment at one in the morning. "Come on, spit it out."

"I..." The swordsman continued. "I-I had to get away from Tifa." Reno arched an eyebrow at this, silently asking him to continue. Cloud did just that, "I couldn't handle it. She was intruding on my space, going _everywhere_I went." Reno chuckled. "...It's not funny."

"...But, and this is what stumps me," the redhead responded. "Why come here? Why not crash at one of your friends' place, yo?"

"..." The blonde said nothing as he looked down at the floor, hoping to avoid the question. A sly grin spread across the redhead's face as he stood there, a plan formulating in his head.

"Ooohhh, I get it!" Reno commented, watching how Cloud's head snapped up to look him in the eyes. A confused look adorned the blonde's face, making the Turk's grin widen almost creepily.

"Get what?" Cloud asked, hoping that Reno would not guess his actual reason for wanting to stay with him. Unknown to him, the redhead had gotten a look at the nearest clock, making a mental note of the time.

"I get why you wanted to come here," the Turk said, his voice lowering to almost a purr as he watched the blonde's face heat up. "Why you didn't call Barret, or Cid, or Red, or even Valentine. Not even the clingy ninja."

Cloud's heart pounded roughly in his chest as he tried to swallow, finding his mouth to be unbearably dry. "Y-you do?"

Reno purred an affirmative. "Of course I do, Cloudy. Not like it's _that _hard to understand..."

"It's not?" the blonde asked, fear dripping into his voice.

"Of course not. It's very simple to understand, yo."

"...Does that mean I can...you know..." Cloud mumbled, looking back to the floor as his face blushed. Reno's grinned widened as he stepped forward, placing his hand on the blonde's shoulder.

"Hmmm...I dunno, Cloudy..." Hearing this, the hero's head snapped up, his eyes looking pleadingly at the redhead. "Maybe you can...maybe not."

"Maybe?" Cloud asked, wondering why he could rarely ever get a straight answer from the Turk. "What do you mean, maybe?"

"Well, usually 'maybe' means not yes, but not no."

"...You'd really be doing me a favor..."

"I know. But what do I get out of it, yo?" Reno purred, stepping a bit closer.

"...What do you want?" Cloud's face heated up even more, as he struggled to keep his control, silently waiting for Reno's answer to both of his questions.

"Hmm...I'll have to think about that..."

"What? But Reno-"

"Don't worry Cloudy, the wait's the best part."

"No it's not," the blonde muttered to himself, deciding that really despised waiting for the redhead to answer a few simple questions.

"C'mon, Chocobo-Head, cheer up! You should be used to waiting by now."

The blonde looked at him puzzled. "What's that supposed to mean?" Reno just shrugged in response. "I'm serious, Reno, can you just answer my questions?"

"Mmm, but where's the fun in that, yo?"

"That's it," Cloud growled, "I'm leaving."

"C'mon, Cloudy," Reno said grabbing a hold of the blonde's should tight enough to keep him from running away. "...You can stay here. ...Even though you're a pussy 'cause yer too scared to talk 'bout yer issues with yer own friends." Cloud looked puzzled, realizing that Reno had thought that his reason for choosing to stay there had to do with his 'fears' of opening up to people. "Though, you can't sleep on the couch."

"Why not?"

"It's good to sit on, but sleeping on it'll ruin yer back, yo. ...Or so Rude tells me."

"Wait...but where do I sleep then?" Reno pulled Cloud into the room before closing the door after him. grabbing onto the blonde's hand, he led him to his bedroom, not noticing the blush that had taken over the blonde's face. The apartment was still dark as Cloud was willingly pulled into the room, his eyes quickly adjusting to the lack of light.

"Here we are," Reno said, waving his hand at the room as he yawned. "You can either sleep on the floor, without any blankets or anythin', _or _you can join me on the bed. Either way, I'm sleepin'." The swordsman paused wondering whether or not he should go on the floor or climb under the cover with Reno, who had already lied down on the bed. "Jus' get in here, yo," the mumbled reply came, deciding for him. Cloud undressed to his shirt and boxers before lying stiffy under the covers, not really trusting himself alone with Reno.

The redhead looked over to his alarm, making a not of the new time before getting out a small piece of paper and pen, writing down his findings. He wrote: Moody blondes hate to wait, and after 4 minutes and 16 seconds, they try to run away.

Instead of thinking of what the other questions were, Reno just rolled over, leaving the pen and paper on the small stand, yawning tiredly. He snuggled close to the warmth nearby, not caring that it was Cloud. "Relax, yo," he mumbled, feeling the blonde stiffen even more so at the contact. "I ain't gonna bite...yet." He nuzzled into the blonde's chest, sighing before he began to drift off, feeling warm fingers drift through his hair. "Night Cloudy."

"Night Reno," the blonde whispered, feeling his face heat up. As he drifted asleep, he could not help but relax against the redhead, wrapping his arms around the Turk possessively.

**End of Chapter Four**

Review for the next chapter. I'm SO sorry for the wait. I'd give you a reason for it, but I'm sure you don't care why. But hopefully I'll update quicker (Like in the next week).

**Tsuki**: Well, Cloud's gonna be the seme, once we get there. Reno's just havin' fun for now.

**This tormented protector**: Thanks, sweetie!

**Jingslilangel**: I'm trying. Aw, chibi eyes.

**VampireChildofDarkness**: Never Reno-_smiles_-. Gotta love his crazy antics.

**blinkblinksmile**: Thanks.

**NilanTiff**: Thanks, honey! Glad to know that you're reading this, too.

**YaoiFanatic2**: -_Grins_-He will, don't worry 'bout that! I'm with you there! This will be a seme Cloud fic. -_Laughs_-Reno's treat!

**Fallen-Yuki**: Sorry-_laughs_-, but no banking here, I'd be so confused. Thanks, sweetie!

**Demonchildsister**: Don't know what that means, but I'll take it as a compliment-_smiles_-.

**Agitation**: RenoXCloud is coming, don't worry, sweetie. I am a blonde, which is kind of how I came up with this idea. -_Laughs_-Never heard of that one before! Rude is out of the loop...but so is Cloud...

**Lady Da's Rain**: I perfer Confused Cloud, too, but Pissed Cloud had to come...for some reason. Glad you liked Chocobo Cloud-_grins_-!


	5. Chapter 5

Title: Blondes

Disclaimer: If I owned this would I be here? C'mon people, think!

Setting: Pick one. I'm too lazy/wired to decide.

Summary: Are blondes _really_ that dumb? How long can you answer a blonde's question with another question? Do blondes _really_ have more fun? How quickly do they react when put in a strange situation? How quickly can you annoy a blonde to the point that they scream? What is foreplay for a blonde? How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? How do you confuse a blonde? How do you keep a blonde in suspense? Reno plans on finding out...with Cloud.

Warnings: Um…hmm. Think I've used them all before-_grins_-. Basically, anything I can think up. I'll just see there my mind takes this…could be anywhere-_grins_-. If you've read any of my other stories…you know what you're in for. If not, you'll see!

Side Notes:  
1) This story will have romance at the end…or very close to it.  
2) If you have any suggestions, feel free to send them in a review.  
3) Same goes for any ideas for future chapters...ideas, suggestions; they're different in my little world.  
4) Will end in smut…as some of you who have read my fics already know!!!  
5) Each chapter will be a different question.  
6) My spelling sucks...Wordpad...again...  
7) Flames will not be tolerated-_glares evilly_-. This is your only warning.

**Chapter Five: Dreams**

Cloud's eyelids fluttered gently as the room grew unbearably hot. He could hear something muttered softly against his sweaty skin, making the heat intensify and bringing him closer to consciousness. As his eyes opened, he became aware of a few things. The first thing that the blonde grew to realize was that the strange sounds were coming from Reno, who was speaking against his collarbone in his sleep. Though, this did not explain to him as to why the room was sweltering. But his next few realizations did.

Cloud became aware that Reno was having a wet dream, which made the blonde blush furiously. He could feel the redhead grinding against his hip in his sleep, his fingers tightly clutching to the fabric of the swordsman's shirt. His breathing grew more erratic as he actually began to listen to what the Turk was moaning against his skin.

"Mmm... ...Oh, yeah... ... ...R-right there," Reno breathed hotly, making Cloud's face heat up even more. Though, the more the slim man bucked against him, the more he became aware of his own problem.

During the night, Reno must have shifted a bit because his right thigh was lying between the blonde's legs. Every thrust of his hips making his clothed thigh rub against the warrior's crotch. The more this happened, the more aroused Cloud found himself getting, and the less he seemed to oppose the situation. Even in his pleasure blurred mind, the blonde could not help but realize just how painfully aroused he was as the redhead continually thrust his hardened cock against his hip. He began to pant softly as the thrusts became more frequent, the muttering against his skin growing more needy, the fingers clenching his shirt becoming more desperate.

"D-don't stop... ... ...Please...harder... ... Fuck me harder..." Reno said, making Cloud's blushing face turn an intense shade of red. The blonde was sweating as his hips jerked a bit against the Turk's thigh, his words affecting him in more ways than one. The blonde clenched his hands into fists, feeling the soft fabric of the redhead's light jacket folding under his fingers. It was then the he realized that his arms had stayed around the thinner man throughout the entire night. He tightened his grip around the Turk, keeping him as close as he physically could, hoping that his bedmate for the night would not wake up from his wet dream and run away from him, disgusted.

Reno moaned throatily instead, his body pressing into Cloud's with a bit more force, his hips and thigh giving the blonde more pleasure than he would ever admit to anyone else, with the exception of Reno...after a long time of drinking or flirting. "God..." the redhead moaned, his voice making the swordsman shudder. "Nnnngh... ... thrust a b-bit harder... ...Fuuuuuuck... Like that..." The blonde flushed furiously as he heard the words spoken against his sweaty skin.

"Oooooooooooh..." The thrusting grew more frantic at this sudden moan, letting Cloud know that Reno was getting closer to his release. This realization made the fighter blush even more. The frantic thrusting was accompanied with more pressure on his erect cock from the slim thigh, and the tightening of fingers around his shirt. The blonde hero responded by moaning as his eyes fluttered shut, hips rocking against the flesh in between his legs, and his fingers tightening their grip on the Turk's shirt. His blush darkened even more as he felt another moan come from the redhead, his breath heating flushed, overheated skin.

"Yeeessss..." Reno moaned softly, making Cloud jerk his hips at the lustful sound. "You know...how I like it, baby..." The blonde's blush darkened to the point that he thought that his face might have more blood in it than his cock. A soft groan from the Turk ended his train of thought, focusing the blonde on the current situation. A tightening in the blonde's abdomen let him know that he was going to be coming soon. Upon hearing a shaky, yet heated, moan from the redhead let him know that the Turk was close also, not to mention how the thrusting against his hip grew more frantic.

"Nnghhhhh..." Hearing the groan, Cloud trembled, sweat rolling down the side of his temples. He let out a low breath as he felt the heat grow along with the tightening sensation. "K-keep goin', baby... ...Almost there..." The blonde bit his lip as he rubbed his hips against the Turk's thigh, hoping that he could get off before his current bedmate would wake up and catch him in such a predicament.

Soon, they both came, Cloud moaning Reno's name gently, while the redhead groaned. The swordsman struggled to regain his breathing as he kept his eyes gently closed. He relaxed his body, hoping to feign sleep, struggling not to squirm as his clothes stuck to his skin by his body fluids.

He felt Reno shift against him, stretching out as he moaned softly. "Ya 'wake, Cloudy?" he slurred tiredly.

"...Yeah," Cloud answered, shocked that he actually did so. He forced himself to keep from stiffening his spine as he felt the Turk's hips shift against his hips while he stretched.

"Mmm, sleep good?" Hearing this, the blonde leader could not help but tense, his face flushing greatly. "Chocobo-Head?" Not getting any response, he cracked open one of his eyes, looking at the blonde.

"I slept f-fine," he stuttered, his voice cracking, making his blush darkening even more.

"Good dream?" Reno grinned as Cloud tensed even more. "C'mon, tell me!" Suddenly, the redhead was completely awake and interested. He rolled over so he was lying fully on top of the blushing blonde, one leg between his legs while the other was pressed on the outside of a thigh.

"I-I didn't dream anything!" he protested, his cock stiffening slightly as he imagined Reno panting, sweating, and naked underneath him. This made the Turk grin wolfishly at him.

"Tell me 'bout yours and I'll tell you mine." Cloud blushed even more as Reno slowly shifted up his body so his face was directly above Cloud's, their lips not even an inch away. He felt as the blonde's cock stiffened against him, and Reno purposefully moved his hips, grinding against him. "C'mon, Cloud, I'm curious," he purred, smiling greatly at the blonde.

"I-I...I should g-go!" Cloud said, preparing to leave. Reno pouted down at him watching as the blonde struggled. Cloud suddenly leaned up and kissed Reno fully on the lips before rolling over, pinning the Turk on his back. "I-I've got to go!" he muttered before sprinting out of the room. "S-see you later, Reno!" With that, he ran out of the apartment, leaving a stunned redhead on the bed.

Reno grinned widely as he grabbed his pen and paper from last night. On it he wrote: "Blondes blush madly after questioning them on their dreams. Wet dreams, possibly? ...Cloud is a good kisser!" Finished with that, he rolled over and fell back asleep, content to get a few more hours rest before starting his day.

**End of Chapter Five**

Review for the next chapter. -_Snickers_-This was fun, even though I had to type it THREE times (Thank you, Vista fer bein' a complete bitch!).

**Deinde**: -_Laughs_-.

**Omiyago**: Thanks sweetie!

**Bekas Strife**: -_Laughs hysterically_-Thanks, sweetheart!

**Fallen-Yuki**: -_Laughs_-True! Though I think eventually Reno'd come around to Vince. -_Grins_-...Wow, that sounded perverted...

**RinRan**: -_Grins_-Me too!

**nicotinegum**: -_Grins_-I'm allergic to flowers! Ha! True! An' he will be!

**Mahoko**: -_Laughs_-Who doesn't? He's hard not to love. -_Grins_-The lovin's definitely on its way. Yeah, Reno's kinda dense, but he's adorably dense, if not infuriatingly so!

**AritfshlyNaturl**: -_Laughs_-Almost, but not quite!

**Shaay**: I know the feelin'.

**Toons**: Yeah, I update like the dead.

**AstroStarr42**: Here ya go!

**LoveMayKill**: Here's more fer ya.

**blinkblinksmile**: -_Laughs_-That he does!

**Star-cat271191**: -_Laughs_-Think this is a good torture, no?

**Mako Blue**: Thanks, sweetie. Here ya go!


	6. Chapter 6

Title: Blondes

Disclaimer: If I owned this would I be here? C'mon people, think!

Setting: Pick one. I'm too lazy/wired to decide.

Summary: Are blondes _really_ that dumb? How long can you answer a blonde's question with another question? Do blondes _really_ have more fun? How quickly do they react when put in a strange situation? How quickly can you annoy a blonde to the point that they scream? What is foreplay for a blonde? How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? How do you confuse a blonde? How do you keep a blonde in suspense? Reno plans on finding out...with Cloud.

Warnings: Um…hmm. Think I've used them all before-_grins_-. Basically, anything I can think up. I'll just see there my mind takes this…could be anywhere-_grins_-. If you've read any of my other stories…you know what you're in for. If not, you'll see!

Side Notes:  
1) This story will have romance at the end…or very close to it.  
2) If you have any suggestions, feel free to send them in a review.  
3) Same goes for any ideas for future chapters...ideas, suggestions; they're different in my little world.  
4) Will end in smut…as some of you who have read my fics already know!!!  
5) Each chapter will be a different question.  
6) My spelling sucks...Wordpad...again...  
7) Flames will not be tolerated-_glares evilly_-. This is your only warning.

**Chapter Six: Situations**

Reno smiled happily as he sat down in his chair behind his desk, before spinning around in it like a hyper child. "What's got you so damn happy? Got laid?" Rude asked once the redhead stopped and fell out of his chair from the room spinning.

"Nah!" Reno said, lying on the floor, still smiling. "Got a kiss this mornin', though."

"She must be someone special." The man on the floor started to laugh hysterically. "What's so funny?"

"Oh yeah, **_she's_** special, all right! One of a fuckin' kind!" He laughed some more, confusing the bald Turk. "I'll be sure to tell _Cloudy _ya think he's a unique lady!"

"Cloud?! What was Cloud doing at your apartment?!"

"'Cause he's a pussy, yo."

"...Well, you _have _been known to bag a pu-"

"Reno, why are you on the floor?" A curious voice called from behind the Turk, making his sentence die in his mouth. "...Do I even want to know?"

"Hey, Chocobo-Head! Guess what Rude called you!" the other Turk called in a greeting as he made himself comfortable on the floor.

"Again: do I even want to know?" the blonde questioned as he looked almost menacingly at the bald Turk.

"Ooohh, I think ya do, yo!"

"Reno, for the love of God, shut up!" Rude hissed, getting a wink from the redhead, which unknowingly upset the blonde swordsman in the room. "So Cloud, why are you here?" This little distraction helped him from lunging at the Turk lying on the floor and ravish him in front of his partner. Unfortunately for the blonde, it did not help his body's reaction to such thoughts; he could only pray that Reno and Rude would not notice anything, especially Reno.

"Maybe he decided to pay us a visit?" Reno said, grinning mischievously at the blonde. A shiver ran down Cloud's spine as the Turk looked up at him.

"M-maybe..." he stuttered, a light blush settling on his face.

"Are ya blushin' Cloudy?" the redhead asked, his grin growing. "Aww, ya are!"

"No I'm not!" Even as he said this, the blonde could feel his face heating up even more. "You're imagining things." Unknown to the pair, Rude had managed to slip out of the room, deciding not to witness whatever they would end up doing to each other.

Reno grinned widely. "So, Cloudy, why'd ya come here, yo?" The blonde blushed again,making Reno's grin widen. "Hey! Let's go do somethin' fun!" The redhead sat up from the floor as the blonde looked at him curious. "C'mon, yo!" He jumped to his feet and grabbed a hold of the swordsman's wrist, place, and question, in mind.

"Where are we going?" Cloud asked as reno pulled him out of the office.

"It's a surprise! Trust me, yo, you'll have fun!" Soon, Cloud found himself following Reno into a bar. The redhead led him to a barstool, sitting down right next to him.

"A bar, Reno? Don't you have work to do?"

"I'm takin' a lunch-break."

"At nine in the morning?"

"It's an _early _lunch break, yo!" Reno grinned as he ordered a drink for both him and Cloud. "Lighten up, yo! It never hurts to get plastered 'fore a long day of work!"

"Reno, I can't get drunk." Seeing the confused look on the Turk's face, he continued. "The mako will burn it off almost instantly."

"Well, have you ever tried?"

"Well, no but-"

"There ya go, yo! You never know until you try! Plus, you'll be drinkin' with me, I can hold my own fer a while, an' you should be buzzed by then, even with mako!"

Sure enough, after half an hour of drinking hard liquor with the Turk, Cloud was feeling a bit fuzzy around the edges. Reno, on the other hand, looking a bit more drunk than he stated he would be. The redhead was talking rapidly, making gestures with his hands as he spoke. The blonde was smiling openly and occasionally giggling, though he mentally reprimanded himself as soon as he was done. After a few more drinks, the swordsman could honestly say that the mako had slowed down at that he was well on his way to being drunk. Though, he paused in his giggling when he felt something warm slid onto his lap, putting direct pressure on his groin.

"R-Reno?" Cloud stuttered, feeling the Turk roll his hips in an attempt to get comfortable. The blonde groaned softly as his cock hardened slightly underneath the shifting redhead. "W-what are you d-doin'?"

"Mmm, wha's i' look like, Cloudy-Pie?" The Turk purred hotly in his ear before tonguing his earring. "'M horny, yo."

"What?!" he whispered loud enough for the tipsy Turk to hear. He could hear the redhead laugh softly into his ear, causing his cock to stiffen a bit more.

"Ya heard me." He shifted his hips again deliberately, feeling Cloud stiffen even more. He grinned widely, knowing that the bode could not see him. "Why d'ya think we Turks drink together?"

"You sleep with the other Turks?!" Cloud asked, feeling repulsed by the mental image of Rude bending Reno over a bar table and- He had to stop that though when he felt the redhead's hands wrap around his shoulders, pressing their bodies closer together.

"Nah, they keep me fr'm sleepin' with anythin' that walks," Reno said, shifting closer. "So, what d'ya say we go to my place?" Cloud felt his cock throb at the man's words, wanting nothing more than to pull the redheaded Turk under him and have his way with him. His conscience stopped him from doing such a thing, though, reminding himself that the Turk was drunk and that he would be taking advantage of him.

"I...I cant, Reno," Cloud muttered, hoping that the man would hear him. "It would be wrong, but I'll...ummm..."

"Ya'll what, yo?" Reno slurred, pressing their bodies closer together.

"I...should go. A-an' you sh-should go back to work..."

"But I don' wanna." The redhead pulled back to look the blonde in the eyes before pouting pitifully at him.

"Well, y-ya have to," Cloud said pathetically, trying not to thrust up against the Turk in his lap or kiss him senseless once he saw that look. The pout grew, but Reno climbed off of his lap, making sure to run his hand along the hardened flesh under Cloud's pants. He smirked triumphantly at the strangled sound that came from the blonde.

"Walk me ta work, Cloudy-Pie?" he asked, looking up cheerfully at the blonde. Cloud nodded dumbly, thinking that he could at least be able the handle that. This turned out to be harder than he thought; Reno walked in front of him the entire time, his hips swaying slightly as he walked, drawing his attention. The end of his ponytail swishing about the area did not help him any, either.

"W-we're here," Cloud said, his fingers trembling as he tried to keep from slamming Reno against a wall and kissing him until the Turk could not tell night from day.

"Yup," Reno said, smiling brightly. That seemed to be the last straw for the blonde. He pulled the redhead towards him and quickly pinned him against a wall, shoving his tongue as far down the Turk's throat as he could. His hands roamed down to the Turk's ass, where he squeezed the firm flesh, pressing their hips roughly together. The redhead moaned softly and Cloud kissed him with even more passion.

When they parted, both of their faces as a bright scarlet. and Cloud felt slightly guilty. "I'll-I'll leave, now," Cloud said, panting a bit. "See you, l-later, Reno."

"See ya tonight, " Reno said, smiling. He licked his lips and Cloud's eyes darkened. The blonde kissed the Turk, briefly on lips, again before backing up.

"S-see you, t-tonight," Cloud said, quickly walking away before he completely took advantage of the redhead.

Reno smirked as he wandered into his office, finding Rude sitting there looking puzzled.

"Where we you?" the bald Turk asked.

"Out getting a drink with Chocobo-Head," he replied, sitting down at his desk and writing down his notes from last night.

"Already? Wait, did Cloud drink with you?"

"Yup, got kinda drunk, too, yo!"

"You got Cloud drunk?! _Cloud Strife_?!"

"Yup! Ain't ya proud of me?"

"He doesn't drink!"

"Does now!" Reno counter as he wrote down on the paper. under his notes, he wrote: "When putting a blonde in a strange situation (pretending to be drunk) he tries to act like a good / decent boy, but fails. Note: Cloud is a horny drunk, too. Think he might have a crush on me. ...Who knows?"

"Did you drink?" Rude asked, looking over at the happy Turk.

"Yup, but I can still see straight, ya know?"

"Good, 'cause we've got an assignment to go take care of. Let's get ready."

"Ya suck the fun outta everythin', partner."

''"I try."

"You suck, yo."

"That's more of your thing, Reno."

"Fuck off!"

"This's too easy."

"Ya're have fun, ain't ch'ya, to?"

"You know it. But you should probably lay off Cloud."

"What's that mean?!"

"I don't know what you're doing to him, man, but he's all flustered around you, recently."

"Who isn't, though?" Reno grinned.

Rude sighed, "Just play nicely, okay?"

"But I hate playin' nice! I like it rough!"

"Reno! Bad images!"

**End of Chapter Six**

Review for the next chapter. Seems like the big question was whether or not Reno was really asleep. Seein' how I didn't think of that (blonde an' I don't like plannin'), so, hopefully(I dunno), this chapter might'ave cleared that up. If not, he was-_laughs maniacally_-!

**tala-fangirl**: Thanks, an' here ya go.

**Bekas Strife**: -_Laughs_-"If he only knew"'s right!

**oskalaboska**: I do, too. An' I will, thanks.

**yumie-darkness123**: -_Grins_-Thanks!

**What2callmyself**: -_Laughs hysterically_-True! Hmm, never thought of that! Think I will, thanks! (I love it when others give me ideas fer new stories--'specially if I'm interested in 'em!) We all could do with some laughter!

**AstroStarr42**: -_Laughs_-Here's some more-_returns bowl_-.

**Toons**: -_Snickers_-Cloud's a closeted horn-dog!

**Lemon Wine**: That he is!

**Fallen-Yuki**: -_Laughs_-He would molest someone while 'asleep'! Thanks, sweetie!

**Aimed mischief**: Thanks!

**EvilRaccoon**: Thanks, an' that seems to be the question of the day(or week, possibly month--I update like the dead, literally).

**NicotineGum**: True!

_(Sorry sweetie, but ya're name can't be seen on FF--symbols, go figure)_: -_Snickers_-true, Reno's kinda blonde fer a redhead!

**Mako Blue**: Woohoo! Sugar! Ya shouldn't'ave! (Really prob'ly shouldn't'ave 'cause I'm basically insane--don't think sugar helps much. Oh well...MINE-_snatches it an runs away_-!!!)

**Mahoko**: -_Laughs_-That he is. We all love him fer that, though (makes him Reno!). Thanks!


	7. Chapter 7

Title: Blondes

Disclaimer: If I owned this would I be here? C'mon people, think!

Setting: Pick one. I'm too lazy/wired to decide.

Summary: Are blondes _really_ that dumb? How long can you answer a blonde's question with another question? Do blondes _really_ have more fun? How quickly do they react when put in a strange situation? How quickly can you annoy a blonde to the point that they scream? What is foreplay for a blonde? How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? How do you confuse a blonde? How do you keep a blonde in suspense? Reno plans on finding out...with Cloud.

Warnings: Um…hmm. Think I've used them all before-_grins_-. Basically, anything I can think up. I'll just see there my mind takes this…could be anywhere-_grins_-. If you've read any of my other stories…you know what you're in for. If not, you'll see!

Side Notes:  
1) This story will have romance at the end…or very close to it.  
2) If you have any suggestions, feel free to send them in a review.  
3) Same goes for any ideas for future chapters...ideas, suggestions; they're different in my little world.  
4) Will end in smut…as some of you who have read my fics already know!!  
5) Each chapter will be a different question.  
6) My spelling sucks...Wordpad...again...  
7) Flames will not be tolerated-_glares evilly_-. This is your only warning.

**Chapter Seven: Suspense**

Reno smirked as he jumped into the cockpit of the helicopter, grabbing the controls. "What're ya waitin' fer, yo? Get in!" the redhead shouted to Rude, who was staring at the Turk as he stood outside of the machine.

"Maybe it would be best if I flew it, Reno," he said, staring blankly at the Turk through his sunglasses.

"What?! Why?" he pouted.

"Because I haven't been out drinking and will have a better chance at keeping us from flying _into _a _mountain_."

"I won't! ...Okay, then, I'll try not to!"

"Get out of the pilot's seat, Reno."

"Not fair," Reno pouted again as he shifted into the other seat, crossing his arms over his chest as he sulked at his partner.

"I'm not changing my mind, Reno," Rude announced as he climbed into the helicopter and started the machine. "Pouting will get you nowhere."

This made the Turk grin. "Then I'll have to be more _productive_, then, won't I?"

"What are you planning?"

"...Nothin', yo."

"Reno," he warned as they flew through the sky.

"All right, all right. Nothin' _new_, happy?"

"No."

"Too bad!" Reno said, grinning happily. "We'll be landin' soon, right?" Seeing the nod, he continued. "Good, 'cause I have an important call to make!"

"Before a mission?"

"Yup! Don't worry, I'm just lettin' 'em know I might be comin' home a bit late."

"Reno, we're going to be flying into enemy territory! I don't- Wait a minute! Didn't you bunk with Cloud las night?! Please tell me that you aren't going to call him just to torture him!" Rude said frantically, glancing desperately at the redhead.

"Fine," Reno said, smirking. "I ain't callin' Cloudy just ta fuck with him, yo."

"I have the feeling that you're lying, Reno."

"...I'm still making the call!"

"If he kills you, it's your fault."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shut up an' fly, dammit."

Once the landed in a secluded field, Reno pulled out his phone and jumped out of the helicopter. Rude told him to keep his voice down though because they were close to the camp of supposed criminals, but the redheaded Turk waved his hand at his bald friend as they walked.

"Hey, Cloudy-Skies, pick up!" he said into his home phone's answering machine. He knew that the blonde was at his apartment, or at least he hoped so. "Come on, yo. I know you're home, but if you're goin' through my shit, quit it! I'll be home to share it with ya later." Reno grinned even more when he heard the blonde pick up.

"I'm not touching you stuff, Reno," Cloud said, sounding embarrassed.

"Touchin' my phone, yo."

"...I'm hanging up."

"Just hold on, yo. I gotta tell ya somethin'."

"Yes?"

"Well, me an' Rude are on a mission right now-"

"Are you insane?!"

"Might be deaf, now, damn."

"Why the hell are you calling me while on a mission?!"

"Cause ya wouldn't hear me if I called from the helicopter, yo."

"Reno, I'm serious."

"I know. Now, I called 'cause-"

"Reno," Rude called out, stopping. "Hang up the phone."

The redhead glared at his partner. "What the fuck's with everyone interruptin' me?" he pouted as he stopped beside the bald man.

"What's going on?" Cloud asked, sounding a bit worried and confused.

"We're here, Reno. Hang up the phone." Rude said, low enough for Cloud to not even hear him.

"Just gimme a damn minute!" Reno hissed. "Gotta go Cloudy. Business calls. Just wanted ta let ya know that-" he stopped as a shot rang out, startling the Turk. "Fuck, been spotted!" Unknown to the Turk, Cloud was beginning to panic.

"Reno, six o' clock!" Rude shouted, pulling out his EMR. As Reno spun around, another shot rang out; pain tore through the redhead's side.

"Fuck!" he hissed, accidentally dropping his phone. "Been hit!"

CRCRCRCRCRCRCRCRCRCR

Cloud was pacing around the apartment as more shots rang out and shouting was heard. His breath died in his throat when he heard brief static, followed by a dial tone.

For five minutes, the blonde stood there, breathing shakily. Then he hung up th phone and ran to Shinra Inc. He snarled at anyone who tried to stop him as he made his way to Rufus's desk.

"Where is he?!" Cloud shouted, glaring at the calm blonde.

"Where is...who?" Rufus asked, feeling a bit unnerved that the swordsman was so furious.

"Reno!"

"He's not here."

"I know _that_!" Cloud growled, his glare deepening. "_Where _is he?!"

"If you must know, he's on a mission with Rude." Rufus felt his blood run cold as ex-Soldier's eye twitched and he pulled out his sword.

"I'm not playing around, Rufus. _Where the fuck is Reno_?!" Swallowing, the leader pulled up files on his computer.

"Hold on. ... ... ... ... He's in a forest a few miles from Junon." Looking up, Rufus noticed that the swordsman had already left. "...You're welcome...ass."

CRCRCRCRCRCRCRCRCRCR

Reno panted as he tried to dodge more bullets. "How many left?!" the Turk shouted to Rude, who was taking cover behind a tree.

"Two, I think!"

"We're fucked, yo!"

"Shut up and let's try to take them out!"

"Easy fer you to say! You haven't been shot!" Rude growled, but began to look around for the remaining two criminals. "Split up, we'll have a better chance of catching them, then!"

"You get one, I get one!" Reno panted before breaking out in a run, hoping to keep quiet as he 'snuck up' on them. Rude also ran in the direction he believed the shooters to be in. Soon, Reno ran into one of the pair, finding a gun to be pointed at his head.

"Perfect," he muttered sourly, glaring at the man.

"Drop your weapon or I'll shoot you," a cold voice said.

"Like ya haven't already?" Reno said, realizing it was the wrong thing to say a bit too late.

"Drop the weapon!"

"Fine," Reno said, letting go of his EMR, just to have it dangle from his wrist. "Happy?"

"No!"

"Aww, but I did what you wanted!"

"No you didn't, you smartass!"

"Hey! I ain't got a smart ass! It's a tight ass, but not smart!" Again, Reno began to realize that he should not have said that. He could tell that the man was going to pull the trigger and braced himself for the pain. Instead he heard a scream.

Looking up, dazed, Reno saw that the man was on fire as he dropped to the ground dead. "Way ta go, Rude!"

"Wasn't me!" the Turk heard from a distance. "But you can help me with the bodies over here!"

"Pass! ...Wait a damn bit... If it wasn't Rude..." Reno muttered, swaying slightly on his feet. "Who the fuck wassit?"

Looking around, the redhead did not see anyone and his puzzlement grew. Not satisfied, he whipped around, convinced that the person might have been behind him. This proved to be too quick because he fell backwards, losing his balance.

A pair of strong arms kept him from falling down completely. "How bad are you hurt, Reno?" a familiar voice called out.

"No way, yo. Cloudy-Skies?" Reno asked, looking up to see the blonde, who was blurring around the edges, holding him. "How'd ya get here? An' why're ya here?"

Hearing how he slurred, Cloud bean to worry even more. "I think you've lost too must blood, Reno," he said, lying the Turk on his back. "And, I'll tell you once you're more lucid."

"No fair, yo," Reno muttered, grinning slightly at the blonde. Cloud lifted up his blood soaked shirt and winced as he saw the hole in his side.

"Did the bullet go all the way through?" he asked, hoping to get a response from the dazed Turk.

"Nuh-uh," Reno said, shaking his head like a little child. "Rude's got some m'teria, ya know?"

"I do, too," Cloud said, pulling out the green orb. "But first I have to remove the bullet."

"Kay-p," Reno said, barely preparing himself for the pain. Cloud took a deep breath before sticking his fingers into the hole. The Turk howled in response and tried to pry the blonde's fingers away from his injury.

"Reno?!" he heard Rude shout from quite a distance. The redhead yelped as Cloud removed the bullet, looking down sadly at him.

"Sorry, but it had to be done, Reno," Cloud said, biting down on his lower lip. He then used the restore materia he had pulled out earlier. Reno glowed a soft green as the blonde worked on healing him. Once the Turk was completely healed, Rude came running over to them.

"Reno! What's- Cloud?" the bald Turk stopped, looking at the swordsman curiously. "What are you doing here?" The blonde blushed as he looked down at Reno.

"Umm, it's a long story," he said, his blush darkening as the bloodied Turk smiled up dizzily at him. "...And I should probably get back to Midgar."

"We shoul' too, Rude," Reno said, turning to look at his partner. "Ruf's gonna wanna repor'."

"You're heading to the hospital until you can walk straight. ...Or talk clearly," Rude said as Cloud helped the Turk to his feet.

"I'll take him to his apartment," Cloud offered as he held Reno upright. Getting a curious look from Rude, he felt the need to elaborate. "It's the least I can do after he allowed me to spend the night." Cloud noticed the curious gaze grew more intense. "Not like that! He...umm...well, I had to...umm..."

"I don't want to know," Rude said, smirking. "Who Reno decides to sleep with is his decision, and one I don't want to hear about."

Cloud blushed furiously at the implied act. "W-wait! We're not-" He gave up as the bald man stuck his fingers in his ears as he walked away, leaving an embarrassed blonde behind.

"Aww, Rude took th' 'cop'er," Reno muttered, leaning heavily against the swordsman. "How're we gonna get home?"

"I have my bike," Cloud said as he led the thin man after him, mentally noting that once they got to his apartment, he would feed him until he gained enough weight to not be so thin and fragile.

Reno, on the other hand, was trying to gather his thoughts. "Heeeeeeeeey, Rowdy-Cloudy," he said, smiling greatly. "Why'd ya come 'ere?"

"...L-let's just get you home, then we can talk."

The Turk smiled even more as he worked on trying to remember the question that Cloud had unknowingly answered. "How'd ya keep a blonde in suspense?" Reno said softly.

"What was that?"

"How...blonde...susp'nse...phone...shot... Wai', wha'?"

"Never mind." Cloud sat the Turk down in front of him as he started up Fenrir. "Try not to mess with the controls, okay?"

"'Kay, Cloudy," he said, snuggling against the blonde chest. He placed his hands on his thighs, making the hero tense as the slim fingers traveled up his thighs. Cloud breathed shakily in the redhead's ear, barely able to keep from moaning loudly. "Ya 'kay?"

"I-I'm fine. Let's get home."

"'S nice."

Cloud drove towards the city, trying to focus on the road and not how Reno seemed to shift ever-so-slightly while in between his legs, rubbing against the front of his pants. Halfway to Midgar, he noticed that the Turk slouched a bit forward, so he pulled over, Leaning over the redhead's shoulder, he saw that he was asleep.

"So cute," Cloud whispered, giving a gentle kiss to Reno's cheek before he took off down the road again. "I'll take care of you, Reno. I promise. And once we get home, I'm going to make sure you heal properly."

**End of Chapter Seven**

Review for the next chapter. Had to update this story quicker than usual (then my sister sat on my laptop, so it wasn't up last week like I wanted). ...The suspense was killin' me (-_Grins_-That an' I would'ave forgotten what the hell I was gonna type). An' I must say this: I restocked my stash this week, so all's fair game-_laughs_-!

**tala-fangirl**: -_Laughs_-That they are!

**Bekas Strife**: -_Laughs hysterically_-Good one!

**AstroStarr42**: -_Stares wide-eyed at brownies_-Oh, sweet jumpin' Jesus! ...Must...not... Oh fuck it, MINE!! -_Grabs plate and runs off, laughing maniacally_-.

**Toons**: -_Grins_-He's a good boy, all right, just one the hasn't been laid in a while!

**Mahoko**: That's 'cause it is...kinda.

**EvilRaccoon**: Thanks, sweetie.

**Lemon Wine**: Aww, thanks!

**What2callmyself**: -_Laughs_-True, an' true!

**NicotineGum**: -Snickers-They would. Thanks.

**Vaishin**: Wow, Sprite? Did it burn? (-_Laughs_-'Cause it does fer me!) -_Drools_-Ch-chocolate Chocobo cookies? My God, ya'll're way to good to me. -_Grabs cookies an' runs away laughin'_-Thse'll be put to good use... Not!


	8. Chapter 8

Title: Blondes

Disclaimer: If I owned this would I be here? C'mon people, think!

Setting: Pick one. I'm too lazy/wired to decide.

Summary: Are blondes really that dumb? How long can you answer a blonde's question with another question? Do blondes really have more fun? How quickly do they react when put in a strange situation? How quickly can you annoy a blonde to the point that they scream? What is foreplay for a blonde? How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? How do you confuse a blonde? How do you keep a blonde in suspense? Reno plans on finding out...with Cloud.

Warnings: Um…hmm. Think I've used them all before-grins-. Basically, anything I can think up. I'll just see there my mind takes this…could be anywhere-grins-. If you've read any of my other stories…you know what you're in for. If not, you'll see!

Side Notes:  
1) This story will have romance at the end…or very close to it.  
2) If you have any suggestions, feel free to send them in a review.  
3) Same goes for any ideas for future chapters...ideas, suggestions; they're different in my little world.  
4) Will end in smut…as some of you who have read my fics already know!!  
5) Each chapter will be a different question.  
6) My spelling sucks...Wordpad...again...  
7) Flames will not be tolerated-glares evilly-. This is your only warning.

Chapter Eight: Light

Reno yawned as he woke up, stretching out. Instantly he paused, a dull pain rippling through his side. "The fuck?" he muttered softly sitting up. "Wasn't I...?"

"Good, you're awake," Cloud said, getting the redhead's attention. Cloud was standing in the doorway to his room, facing the confused Turk.

"Chocobo-Head? How'd I get here?" he asked before yawning again.

"What's the last thing you remember?" the swordsman asked, worry creeping throughout his body. He quickly made his way over to the thin man, standing directly in front of him. Reno looked at him curiously.

"Umm...well, Rude an' me were- The fuck are ya doin', yo?!" the Turk shouted, scrambling backwards, away from the blonde and nearly off of the bed.

"I was making sure that you didn't have a fever," he replied, blushing slightly. "It's the only way I know how to do it accurately, sorry."

"Damn, Spiky, warn a man 'fore ya lay one on 'im next time," the Turk said. "Plus, ya can always use your hands."

"Not really, they're warm from cooking."

"Cooking? Ya can always microwave somethin' if you're hungry, yo."

"It's not for me," Cloud blushed even more as he said this.

"Please tell me you didn't invite the wackos to my place, Cloudy!"

"What? No, of course not!"

"Then why would ya cook, yo?"

"...For you."

"... ... ... Lemme get this straight... ... You, Mr. Moody-Prince-of-Emo-ness, was able to cook with the stuff growin' in my fridge...fer me?"

"Moody-Prince-of-Emo-ness?" Cloud asked, deadpanning.

"Well, I figure Valentine's the Moody-King-of-Emo-ness, so you're the Prince," Reno said, grinning cheerfully.

"He'll kill you if he ever hears that you called him that."

"Luckily, you won't tell him, an' I definitely don't wanna get shot...again, so I'm safe."

"What makes you so sure of that?"

"'Cause I'm a lovable person who you'd hate to see die?" Cloud blushed in response and Reno grinned. "So, what'd ya cook? ...Wait, can you cook?"

"Of course I can cook! How do you think I lived for so long on my own?"

"Tifa delivers food?"

"Ha ha, very funny," Cloud said dryly. "I'll bring you some when it's done." With that, Cloud left the room, leaving Reno alone. The Turk smirked, finding his paper and pen that he used when Cloud slept over ad writing down his findings from earlier: "Cloud likes to be a knight-in-shining-armor if he thinks something bad's going down. Saved me from getting shot again, though".

A strange scent wafted into his room, getting the Turk's immediate attention. "Chicken?" Reno asked as he climbed out of his bed, leaving the blankets partially on the floor. Ignoring the slight pain, he walked out of his room and laughed.

Cloud turned around and instantly turned a dark red. "R-Reno! What are you doing up?"

"Other than wonderin' where ya got that pink apron? Thought I smelt chicken...or chocobo, come to think 'bout it."

"It's chicken."

"Wouldn't want to cook yer kin, right?" Reno asked, grinning mischievously.

"I'm going to ignore that. And just so you know, it's soup."

"Chicken soup? I was shot, remember? I ain't sick."

"I know."

"... ...So, why the soup?"

"No reason."

"Mm-hm. Ain't believing it Cloudy. So, now the truth, why the soup?"

"Do it really matter?"

"Not really, but I wanna know, yo. So out with it."

"...This is my way of showing how grateful I am?"

"Was I supposed to believe that?!" Reno asked, snickering. Cloud pouted before turning around and stirring the soup. "Aw, c'mon Miss Cloud."

"W-what did you call me?"

"Miss Cloud."

"...Why did you call me that?" Cloud asked, wondering if Reno might have found out about the incident with the purple dress.

"'Cause you're wearin' an apron, yo. Why else?"

"Oh. No reason."

"You're hidin' somethin', ain't ya?"

"N-no!"

"Suuuuuuure, an' I'm datin' Cid. ... ...Wow, that thought almost made me throw up. Now, seriously, what's goin' on, yo?"

"Nothing, I swear!"

"Again with the lies, Cloudy."

"Reno, maybe you should sit down, you're looking pale."

"Cloudy-Pie," Reno said, smirking. "I am pale. If that was the case, I'd never stand up!"

"I'm serious, Reno. You lost a lot of blood earlier and I don't want you passing out on me." Cloud said, looking for the nearest place for the Turk to rest. "There, you can lie down on the couch and I'll bring you some soup when it's done."

Sighing, the redhead decided to follow his suggestion and he slowly made his way to the couch, not seeing the worried look on the blonde's face. Once the Turk was lying down on the couch, he began to speak to Cloud, rambling about whatever came to mind. Eventually his voice died down and the thin man fell asleep.

This did not go unnoticed by Cloud, who even went so far as to get the blanket from his bed to cover the Turk. He smiled sadly as the slumbering man, placing another kiss on his cheek before returning to the small kitchen.

After a while, the soup was completed and Cloud poured Reno a large bowl of the hearty meal, accompanied by several large pieces of bread and butter. He placed these before the Turk, on the coffee table, before getting a drink for him also.

"Reno," the blonde called out, lightly shaking his shoulder in an attempt to awaken him. "Reno, the soup is done." A soft mumble came from the seeping redhead, who just curled into a ball to try to avoid waking up. "Come on, Reno."

"Ngh, sleepy...go 'way..." came the reply. Cloud smiled at him, before trying again.

"Wake up, Reno. It's chicken."

"It'll still be chicken in a few hours..." the Turk moaned out.

"Reno, come on, wake up. You need to eat."

"... Do I?"

"Yes."

"...Ugh, fine..." he moaned, opening his eyes slowly. "...Please tell me that bowl is only half filled, at the most, yo..."

"No such luck, Reno."

"Lemme guess," he said, sitting up. "Ya want me to eat it all, right?"

"That's the idea."

"Death by chicken soup's an interestin' way to die, yo."

"It won't kill you!"

"...Could."

"Reno, just give it a taste. ...Please?" Seeing the pleading and sad look in the blue eyes, Reno cringed. A feeling of guilt filled the pit of his stomach and Reno pouted.

"Fine." As carefully as he could, the Turk picked up a spoonful of the soup and brought it to his lips. "Just to make you happy. After all, I live fer your smile, yo." As he grinned cheekily, Reno put the spoon in his mouth, watching the confusion and hope that lingered in Cloud's eyes.

"Well?" Cloud asked, hoping that he liked the food.

"'S good," the Turk said, taking another spoonful. Looking at the blonde, he noticed the way the glowing blue orbs sparkled happily. "But if you 'spect me to eat this all, you're outta yer fuckin' mind."

"At least eat half of it?" The pleading and hopefully look returned and Reno found himself willing to agree if just to get rid of that look.

"Fine, just cheer up already."

"I'm happy."

"Yeah right, an' I dance the Fandango!" Cloud snickered and Reno grinned. "Least you can tell that it ain't true, yo."

"Actually, I just imagined it."

"Hey!"

"You brought it up!" Cloud retorted, smiling happily at the redhead.

"Sneak. Least I know how to cheer you up!"

"...And how's that?"

"Eat yer cooking and mention me dancing."

"You dancing isn't what cheers me up," the blonde said, smiling.

"...I was sure that was it," Reno said, eating another spoonful.

"Nope," Cloud said, smiling happily as he watched Reno eat. Now he just had to think of another way to get the Turk to eat more without having his real intentions discovered.

"Well, least eating keeps ya from angsting all over my floor."

"What?"

"Nothing," Reno said, smirking. "Got a question, though: How'd I get in my apartment?" Cloud blushed. "Aww, ya carried me, didn't ya?" As the reddening deepened, the smirk grew. "Never knew ya cared so much for a Turk!"

"I never said I did."

"Didn't have to; yer face did all the talkin'!"

"...Shut up and eat your soup."

"Aww, someone needs a hug."

"No, I don't."

"C'mon Cloudy, show me some love!" The blonde wondered if Reno was even awae how he was affecting him as he shook his head.

"Reno, you were shot!"

"All the more reason to hug me!"

"R-Reno-"

"C'mon, Cloudy-Pie, what could it hurt? Just one hug?" The blonde sighed, hoping he could keep himself in control after one hug. Cloud gave in and hugged the Turk, feeling the redhead nuzzle into his shoulder. "See? Wasn't so bad. Now, let's go to bed."

"W-What?"

"Bed. Ya know, big fluffy mattress, fluffy pillow, soft blankets...ringin' any bells?"

"I know what a bed is."

"Ya asked, though. Now, c'mon. I wanna sleep."

"Then why can't you go to bed alone?"

"'Cause I wanna cuddle, an' you're here. So, let's get ta bed." Cloud blushed furiously at the statement. "C'mon Cloudy, humor me. I'll give ya a reward later."

At this, the blonde quickly followed the redhead into his room, all doubts left behind him as he climbed under the covers with the Turk. He pulled the small man close to him, and kept his arms around him as the Turk snuggled into his chest, a soft purr coming from Reno. Cloud smiled as he indulged himself on the moment, wondering what his prize could be. He began to thread his fingers through the redhead's hair, massaging the scalp, and getting a soft moan from him. He blushed at the sound, but could not keep from smiling at Shinra employee. Soon he drifted to sleep, the image of the seeping redhead on his mind.

End of Chapter Eight

Review for the next chapter. Ya have ta know: the image of Cloud in a frilly apron was hauntin' me, so I had to do this soon! ...It plagued me-snickers-.

Mahoko: -Groans-Oh, s'mores, how you taunt me so! Thanks.

yumie-darkness123: -Twitches-Rainbow choco-chip cookies?! Ya'll hurt me so good! Either way: MINE!

AstroStarr42: O.o C-cake? Oh, ya're cruel! -Laughs-But I WILL have that cake! Victory will be mine!

What2callmyself: -Smiles-Yup! Such a lie, too! It did! (An' I thought my eyes were bad.) Oh, that's a good one! -Grins-I know the perfect place ta use it..kinda!

Toons: Could be, an' it is.

Vaishin: -Laughs hysterically-Cloud would prob'ly put it to better use, then! After all, he doesn't want reno to be in more pain!

Aimed mischief: Thanks!

Bekas Strife: -Grins-They fly under a shimmerin' rainbow-laughs-! -Twitches while staring wide-eyed-Oh sweet Lord! -Grabs treats and runs off-MINE!!

EvilRaccoon: -Laughs-Thanks. -Twitches slightly-Sugaaaaaaar... -Grabs plate-My preciousssss!


	9. Chapter 9

Title: Blondes

Disclaimer: If I owned this would I be here? C'mon people, think!

Setting: Pick one. I'm too lazy/wired to decide.

Summary: Are blondes really that dumb? How long can you answer a blonde's question with another question? Do blondes really have more fun? How quickly do they react when put in a strange situation? How quickly can you annoy a blonde to the point that they scream? What is foreplay for a blonde? How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? How do you confuse a blonde? How do you keep a blonde in suspense? Reno plans on finding out...with Cloud.

Warnings: Um…hmm. Think I've used them all before-grins-. Basically, anything I can think up. I'll just see there my mind takes this…could be anywhere-grins-. If you've read any of my other stories…you know what you're in for. If not, you'll see!

Side Notes:  
1) This story will have romance at the end…or very close to it.  
2) If you have any suggestions, feel free to send them in a review.  
3) Same goes for any ideas for future chapters...ideas, suggestions; they're different in my little world.  
4) Will end in smut…as some of you who have read my fics already know!!  
5) Each chapter will be a different question.  
6) My spelling sucks...Wordpad...again...  
7) Flames will not be tolerated-glares evilly-. This is your only warning.

**Chapter Nine: Fluster**

Cloud awoke to a soft ringing. Wondering what the soft could be, he cracked his eyes open, looking around a sun-lit room. Groaning softly, the blonde reached out for the source of the sound, fumbling until he picked up Reno's home phone. "Hello," he said softly.

"...Cloud?" Instantly, the blonde was awake.

"Rufus?"

"Why are you at Reno's? ...Wait, I don't want to know." The swordsman blushed at the implication.

"I-it's not like that!" he denied, blushing even more as he looked down at the Turk curled around him.

"I don't want to hear it...but at least know I know why you wanted to find him so bad... Either way, tell Reno that he needs to be in soon."

"It might be best if Reno stayed here for the day."

"Can't walk straight? Gotta say, Strife, didn't think you had it in you."

"N-no! It's not- _We're_ not-"

"You can tell him he's got the day off, but I don't want to hear about your 'adventures' when he returns."

"W-wait-" Cloud paused once he heard the dial tone. Surprisingly, the redheaded Turk remained asleep throughout the entire deal, only snuggling closer to the blonde in his sleep. The swordsman returned the phone to it's cradle and relaxed again, hoping to fall back asleep. When that plan failed, he resorted to staring at the thin man as he toyed with the long hair that was still tied back.

He soon realized that this has a pleasing effect on the redhead, who snuggled closer to his chest and purred softly into his skin, smiling in his sleep. Cloud smiled gently as he looked down at the Turk, wrapping his free arm around the redhead to keep thier bodies pressed closely together.

After a while of doing this, he felt the Turk shift as he gained consciousness. "Good morning, Reno."

"Mornin' Cloudy-Cakes," he replied before yawning. "How long you been up?"

"Not long. Oh, Rufus called." Hearing this, the Turk groaned, snuggling into his chest again. "And you have the day off."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Great!" Reno said, jumping out of the bed, leaving Cloud lying there, missing the contact. Immediately, his eyes widened as he watched the redhead pull off his shirt and jacket. He then pulled down his pants, making the blonde's pants tighten as he looked over all of the creamy skin.

"R-Reno, what are you d-doing?" he stuttered as he watched the Turk pull off his socks, leaving him in only a pair of low-riding boxers.

"I'm gonna take a shower. What's it look like, yo?" The blonde just blushed even more as the Turk turned around, walking towards the bathroom. On the way there, he removed the last article of clothing, flashing the blonde with his backside before closing the door.

Cloud could feel his face burning as he heard the water start up, the image of Reno's pale ass burned into his mind. He could not help but feel slightly disappointed that the redhead did not turn around to give him a complete view.

Realizing what he thought, the blonde got out of the room as quickly as he could, hoping that Reno wound not exit the bathroom dripping and bare while he was out of the room. Intead, he tried to keep his mind busy by preparing a large breakfast for the both of them.

While the blonde was busy staring a large meal, reno was humming to himself as he quickly showered, barely remembering to remove the tie from his hair before entering the shower. As he washed himself, the redhead began to plan his next question to be tested on the blonde. He could not help but feel proud of himself for learning so much about the swordsman already, even though he wanted to know more.

By the time he was done and stepped out of the shower, Reno was sure of what question he was going to try out; one of the more well-known questions that plagued him. Grinning to himself, the Turk wrapped a towel loosely around his and stepped onto the wet, tiled floor.

Letting out a loud yelp as he fell backwards, Reno landed on his back, winded.

"Reno?!" he heard Cloud shout from the other side of the door. Still winded, he wondered how the blonde was able to get to the door so quickly. "I'm coming in!" Before he could even say a word, or even put the towel over his exposed region, the door swung open, revealing a worried blonde.

"Reno, are you..." A deep blush spread over Cloud's face like a wildfire. His eyes quickly took in the sight; Reno on his back, legs spread, wet hair fanned out behind him, water glistening on his pale, naked skin.

Reno grinned meekly, finally able to catch his breath as he watched the hungry, blue eyes roam over his body. "Uhh... Like what you see, yo?"

Blue eyes snapped up to meet aquamarine orbs, the pupils dilating widely. "D-do you need some h-help?" The Turk seemed to ponder this, though, when dull, throbbing pain lanced through his back he nodded, reaching out for the blonde with one hand. Cloud walked towards Reno, the hungry look in his eyes growing as he neared.

He reached down and helped pull Reno to his feet, noticing joyfully that the towel remained on the floor when the Turk was standing. Though, Cloud was not the only one to notice this. The redhead grinned before bending down to pick up the towel.

"Wouldn't wanna lose this, huh?" he asked as he stood up straight. The next thing Reno knew, he was pressed firmly against the nearest wall with Cloud's tongue thrust into his mouth. He felt the blonde standing between his legs, pressing their bodis together as fingers trailed up his sides, tangling in the red strands of hair at the base of his neck.

A low growl came from Cloud, who ground his hips against the Turk's. Reno moaned into his mouth, just barely placing his hands on the blonde's face before an alram went off.

"Sh-shit!" Cloud muttered after he pulled back, leaving a panting redhead. "It's burning." Seeing the confused look on Reno's face, the blonde gave him a swift kiss before running out of the room, leaving a naked turk in his wake.

"...Wow..." Reno said, a grin slowly spreading across his face. "Cloudy's a _really _good kisser." He looked down at his towel before shrugging, deciding to leave the bathroom without the article of clothing. He walked into his room, heading over to his closet to pick out his clothes for the day as he listened to Cloud swear as he fumbled around the small kitchen.

Once he had on a pair of boxers and had pulled up his pants, but before they were buttoned, Cloud entered the room, blushing furiously as he looked at the redheaded Turk. "B-breakfast is done."

"Sheesh, Cloudy-Cakes," Reno said, smirking as he slowly did up his pants, opting to leave without a shirt on. "Ya don't have to cook all the time, yo."

"Well, breakfast's the most important meal of the day..."

"Explain the soup, then," the Turk said, enjoying the way the blonde's face darkened. "Man you're gonna faint if anymore blood goes ta your head, Cloudy-Pie." This just made his face heat up even more, resulting in Reno's laughter.

He left the room, knowing that Cloud was following him as he walked to his small kitchen. Looking at what the blonde had prepared, and slightly burned, he stopped.

"Cloud?"

"...Yeah?"

"How'd ya make eggs when I didn't have any, yo?"

"...I...umm, I bought some..."

"The hell was I?"

"Unconscious."

"Dude...you got oranges, too?"

"Well, I didn't know what kind of fruit you like."

Reno snickered at this. "Bananas."

"Good thing I bought plenty of fruit." The Turk snickered some more. "What?"

"Nothin', yo. I just love a long, yellow fruit in my mouth 's all." Cloud blushed as he imagined the site. "So, where'd you stash 'em?"

"You're going to have fruit before breakfast?"

"Nope. Gonna have one after, yo. Just wanna know."

"I'll...I'll get you one after you eat."

"I gotta question though; how much shit did ya buy?"

"N-not much."

"That's a lie if I've ever heard one!"

"...That obvious?"

"'Bout as obvious as Barret in a neon pink jumper! ...Okay, shouldn't think like that before eatin'..."

"Reno..."

"Yeah, yo?"

"Shut up and eat." The Turk grinned, but did as he was asked, often teasing the blonde, which mostly went unnoticed by said blonde. Once they had finished, Reno was waiting to get his banana.

When he did, the redhead could feel Cloud's eyes on him as he peeled the fruit, licking his lips as he waited to see if the blonde would understand what he was trying to imply.

Once it was mostly peeled, Reno ran his tongue along the length of the fruit, smirking happily. "I love that taste," he moaned, noticing how Cloud blushed. He put a large portion of the yellow fruit in his mouth before biting it off, still seeing that the swordsman's eyes were still glued to him.

When he was done with the fruit, Reno could tell that Cloud was off in his own world. Throwing away the peel, he left the man alone, heading to his room to write down his new findings. he quickly scrawled out: Blonde's are perverted. It's easy to make one blush. Note: bananas are a man's best friend! ...Think the Prince needs ta get laid ...Elena or Tifa maybe?

Once he put the paper away and turned around, he came face-to-face with said blonde, making the Turk jump back a bit, letting out a yelp.

"Wh-what's up, Cloudy?"

"Reno," Cloud seemed to purr and growl at the same time.

"... Yeeeeeeeeessssssss?"

"...What's my reward?" Hearing this, the redhead grinned.

**End of Chapter Nine**

Review for the next chapter. All a yer reviews made me so happy, an' hungry, so I felt the need to update quickly! (Would'ave put this up last night, but I need at least four hours of sleep to be able to leave my bed a bit before the sun rises -- -_Grins_-I'm a vampire.) Ya make me feel so loved.

**CupCake-SweetTreats**: Now, that'd be a reward! -_Drools_-Sugar cookies...

**yumie-darkness123**: -_Snickers_-He is! -_Twitches_-So much sugar...so little time...

**What2callmyself**: -_Laughs_-Those were my favorite, too! That's the kinda thing I say, so I figure Reno's a smart ass, too! To be honest: no idea what the Fandango looks like! -_Grins_-Just came to mind.

**tala-fangirl**: Thanks!

**JeanneAndherAlters**: -_Stares_-Ya know, I try to stay away from soul-consumin' sweets... -_Grins_-But I fail.

**Takemi-Chan**: -_Laughs_-Yup!

**Vaishin**: Thanks! -_Snatches cookies and runs off_-MINE!!

**Bekas Strife**: -_Laughs hysterically_-Hadn't thought of that! -_Grins like a perv_-Now I am...

**kiki89**: -_Laughs_-Yup! Thanks.

**Mahoko**: -_Laughs_-that's all right! Ya'd think he would, 's gotta be the mako. Honestly, readin' that part 'bout Vince, which's prob'ly true!, I laughed loudly. Luckily, no one heard me. That an' 'anywhore', those did me in. Love it too.

**AstroStarr42**:  
Yay! Plushie-Cloudy! Eh, I'm always lazy...after all I ain't doin' my homework right now, like I should. As fer fat, eh, I'd prob'ly go into a sugar-shock first. Now all I need's a Plushie-Reno...an' Vince...an' Cid...an' I'll have some real fun. -_Grins pervertedly_-Hey, they're mine to do with what I please! -_Cough_-Yaoi-_cough_-!

**EvilRaccoon**: -_Snickers_-We'll find out! Glad it did! He does, an' he is. -_Grins_-Oh, we'll see, now won't we.

**carefreecat**: Thanks.


	10. Chapter 10

Title: Blondes

Disclaimer: If I owned this would I be here? C'mon people, think!

Setting: Pick one. I'm too lazy/wired to decide.

Summary: Are blondes really that dumb? How long can you answer a blonde's question with another question? Do blondes really have more fun? How quickly do they react when put in a strange situation? How quickly can you annoy a blonde to the point that they scream? What is foreplay for a blonde? How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? How do you confuse a blonde? How do you keep a blonde in suspense? Reno plans on finding out...with Cloud.

Warnings: Um…hmm. Think I've used them all before-grins-. Basically, anything I can think up. I'll just see there my mind takes this…could be anywhere-grins-. If you've read any of my other stories…you know what you're in for. If not, you'll see!

Side Notes:  
1) This story will have romance at the end…or very close to it.  
2) If you have any suggestions, feel free to send them in a review.  
3) Same goes for any ideas for future chapters...ideas, suggestions; they're different in my little world.  
4) Will end in smut…as some of you who have read my fics already know!!  
5) Each chapter will be a different question.  
6) My spelling sucks...Wordpad...again...  
7) Flames will not be tolerated-glares evilly-. This is your only warning.

**Chapter Ten: Dumb**

"Got the perfect thing in mind fer ya, yo!" Reno said, not really noticing how the blonde's normally bright eyes had darkened.

"So do I..." he replied, lustfully looking over the Turk.

"Huh?"

Before Reno could find out any more, he found himself on his back, lying spread eagle on his bed with Cloud positioned over him. In his shock, the redhead did not notice that his mouth was slightly parted, which was something that the blonde used to his advantage. The swordsman found it easy to force his tongue into the lax mouth. As he did this, the blonde's hands began to roam about, groping any flesh that he could.

When he began to lay passionate kisses along the pale neck of the Turk, Reno began to speak.

"Woah, woah! H-hang on there, Blondie!" Cloud stopped looking into the redheads eyes, taking in his flustered appearance and reddening lips.

"Y-yeah?"

"Ya...didn't even...hear my idea..." Reno panted, feeling Cloud press their bodies together almost painfully.

"I think I know what it is..."

"R-really?"

"Yeah, now let's get going."

"Good!" Reno said happily, grinning. "But I can't get it done on my bed." Cloud smirked as he got up, pulling the Turk up with him. Once he was fully standing Cloud began to quickly work on undoing his pants. "Hold on there, Sweet-Cakes!"

"...What?"

"We don't have time to change our clothes. We gotta go now. Do you have your bike?"

"Y-yeah. But I don't see-"

"Well, get yer keys an' lets go! I'm drivin', by the way!"

Puzzled, the blonde did what was asked of him and soon found himself sitting behind the redhead, who was speeding down the streets of the busy city.

"Where are we going?!"

"You'll see!" Reno shouted, smiling happily even as they eventually came to a stop.

"The Seventh Heaven? Reno, why are we-"

"Trust me, yo!" Reno said as he got off of the bike, pulling the blonde into the bar after him.

"Reno? What are you- Cloud?!" Tifa asked as the pair entered the bar.

"Reno, what are you doing?!" Cloud hissed, instantly wanting to get away from the bartender.

"Have ye no faith? I know what I'm doin'! Hey Teef! We're gonna need a LOT of vodka! Keep 'em dry an' keep comin'!" he said as they sat at the counter, grinning happily.

"I'm not to sure about this, Reno," Cloud said, warily sitting next to the Turk. "Maybe alcohol isn't the best thing after getting shot."

"Let's find out!"

"I shouldn't drink, after all, someone has to drive up home."

"C'mon, this's part of yer reward! Drink up, Cloudy!"

"...Part?"

"Oh yeah," Reno practically moaned out, making the blonde drink the alcohol that was placed in front of him rapidly in a strange attempt to cool himself off. After a long while of drinking, Cloud wa buzzed to the point where everything began to blur and the mako inside of him was working overtime. He failed to notice the way Reno grinned at him.

"So Reno," Tifa called, pouring cloud another drink. "Why are you and Cloud here?"

"I've come to the realization that Blondie needs to get laid."

"...And?"

"Well, I've narrowed it down to two people he can sleep with: you or Elena."

"What?!" the bartender hissed, her face turning red.

"Wow, yer almost as good as Cloudy-Cakes when it comes to that... Anyways...he _really _needs ta get laid."

"What made you think of this?!"

"Well, he's gettin' kinda..._jumpy_, yo."

"Aren't you worried he'd find out?"

"Not a damn bit. Cloudy's a blonde, Teef. He _still _hasn't noticed that I'm plannin' this. He's kinda dumb."

"He's going to find out because Cloud's quite smart."

"You're damn right I am!" the blonde nearly shouted, standing up tipsily. "I kn-know what's goin' on, here!"

"You do?!" Reno and Tifa asked, completely ignoring the other drinkers in the bar.

"Yup! An' I ain't doin' it!"

"What? Why not?" Reno asked, feeling as though his plan was for nothing.

"'Cause I can't dance. So no tango fer ya, Reno!"

"...He's drunk..." Reno and Tifa announced.

"Please, Big-Mama-Teefs?" Reno pleaded, ignoring the blonde momentarily. "Just one quick fuck fer him? It'd do the man wonders!"

"No! Plus, he wouldn't even remember it!"

"That's why you film it! Then he can't deny it!"

"Okay, one dance," Cloud said, wrapping his arms around Reno's waist.

"...Wouldn't ya like to dance with Teefs?"

"Why would I want that?"

"'Cause Tifa can fu-"

"Reno!" the woman hissed, smacking the Turk upside the head.

"What?! Damn, yo! That hurt!"

"Reno, how blind are you?" she asked, grinning as Cloud tried to slip his hands between the waistband of the Turk.

"I can see just fine."

"Then what's Cloud doing?"

"Playing a game of Grab-Cock? I dunno."

"Reno, Cloud's not as dumb as you think."

"Could'ave fooled me. Hey! Keep yer cold hands to yerself!"

Tifa laughed. "Reno, you might just be dumber than Cloud is!"

"The hell's that mean?!"

"Reno, let's go home," Cloud purred hotly into his ear, licking the flesh.

"You might want to follow him," Tifa said, smiling. "Soon, he might just pass out."

"But he's supposed to get laid, yo!" Reno objected.

"Who knows, maybe he still can."

"You're gonna come over?"

"No."

"...Elena's gonna come over?"

"No!"

"...I don't get it..."

"I swear to God, Reno! **_You _**could be blonde with how dense you are!"

"The hell's that mean?!"

"Go home, Reno, take Cloud with you, too. And please try to _think _for once!"

"Hey! I think plenty!"

"Just not that well," Cloud added, kissing the redhead's cheek.

"Hey! What is this? Insult Reno Day?!"

"Go home," Tifa said, grinning.

"Fine," he admitted, standing up and pulling the blonde after him. "But mark my words: Cloud **_WILL _**be laid, dammit!"

Tifa snickered, "They make a cute couple. A dumb couple, but a cute one, nonetheless."

**End of Chapter Ten**

Review for the next chapter. I have two words fer y'all: holy fuck! Y'all review like the wind! -_Grins_-The quicker ya review, the quicker I feel like updatin'. Damn...I dropped my laptop tonight...it's not any worse...my foot on the other hand...

**JeanneAndHerAlters**: -_Laughs_-Yeah! Now I have a chibi-Reno ta go with chibi-Cloud. ...-_Grins evilly_-Can we say chibi-Porn?

**What2callmyself**: -_Snickers_-He's in a level all on his own! Same here! Maaaaaaybe... -_Laughs_-I have a tendency to sleep from sunrise to sunset; vampire.

**Takemi-Chan**: -_Laughs_-Or so ya think!

**CupCake-SweetTreats**: Mmm...cookies. Think we all loved Reno naked!

**Vaishin**: -_Laughs before taking the cookies and running off_-.

**Bekas Strife**: -_Laughs_-Thanks! He should, but doesn't!

**VampireChildofDarkness**: Yay fer yaoi!

**Mahoko**: -_Laughs_-Thanks. Personally, hate 'naners, love what they can imply, though! He's a homey Miss Cloud! Thanks.

**Demonchildssister**: -_Snorts_-Umm...no? C'mon, I can't let y'all off that easily!

**AstroStarr42**: -_Laughs_-I can put it with the other Reno an' get RenoxReno!

**EvilRaccoon**: -_Snickers_-True...true...an' true again! -_Snatches cookies and makes a break for it_-.

**Toons**: -_Grins_-.

**carefreecat**: -_Laughs hysterically_-Thanks!

**Lemon Wine**: -_Laughs_-Soon, my dear, soon.

**Deinde**: Think physics does that to ALL blondes! ...An' I think we all are too! I know I am!

**yumie-darkness123**: Yay fer gifts!

**tala-fangirl**: Well, ya might be wrong! He is, though.


	11. Chapter 11

Title: Blondes

Disclaimer: If I owned this would I be here? C'mon people, think!

Setting: Pick one. I'm too lazy/wired to decide.

Summary: Are blondes really that dumb? How long can you answer a blonde's question with another question? Do blondes really have more fun? How quickly do they react when put in a strange situation? How quickly can you annoy a blonde to the point that they scream? What is foreplay for a blonde? How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? How do you confuse a blonde? How do you keep a blonde in suspense? Reno plans on finding out...with Cloud.

Warnings: Um…hmm. Think I've used them all before-grins-. Basically, anything I can think up. I'll just see there my mind takes this…could be anywhere-grins-. If you've read any of my other stories…you know what you're in for. If not, you'll see!

Side Notes:  
1) This story will have romance at the end…or very close to it.  
2) If you have any suggestions, feel free to send them in a review.  
3) Same goes for any ideas for future chapters...ideas, suggestions; they're different in my little world.  
4) Will end in smut…as some of you who have read my fics already know!!  
5) Each chapter will be a different question.  
6) My spelling sucks...Wordpad...again...  
7) Flames will not be tolerated-glares evilly-. This is your only warning.

**Chapter Eleven: Flirt**

"C'mon, yo," Reno said, helping the intoxicated blonde onto his motorcycle. "Ya best hang on, 'cause if ya fall off, I swear to **_GOD _**I will pull over an' laugh!" he warned before getting on. Cloud nodded, wrapping his arms tightly around the Turk's waist as he pressed his body firmly against the redhead's, breathing contently in his ear.

"I won't fall off," he purred, grinning almost evilly at the oblivious Turk.

"Good, 'cause I'm gonna get ya laid!"

"Is this my reward?" the blonde purred, nuzzling his head into the Turk's neck as the drove away from the bar.

"Damn straight, yo!"

"Couldn't be farther from the truth," Cloud said snickering.

"Huh? What's that mean, Cloudy-Pie?"

"'M as straight as a...a..." He paused, trying to think of an item. "Straight as a circle!"

"Good thing Teefs cut ya off, Chocobo-Head, 'cause circles ain't straight. Think what ya might be thinkin' of is a ruler, yo. _Those _are straight."

"Mmmm...I know what I said," the blonde purred, running his tongue along Reno's neck. His hands slipped down from the Turk's waist as the fingers dipped into his boxers, reaching for the flesh that lied underneath the soft cloth.

"Fuck, yo!"

"That's the idea," Cloud murmured softly.

"How the fuck are your hands so cold?!" Reno asked, trying to keep driving in a somewhat straight line as they, and the blonde's hands, traveled.

"I dunno. But you can keep 'em warm..."

"See? This's why ya need a lady, Cloudy-Cakes. She can help with all yer horny needs! ...Woah! M-mind movin' them h-hands outta my pants?"

"Not really."

"...I don't think ya'd w-want me ta..." Reno moaned softly, his eyes closing briefly before he remembered what he was doing. "...C-crash yer bike, y-yo. ...Nngh...'c-cause I m-might."

"Pull over, then," Cloud said seductively. "'Cause 'm not done, here."

"C-can't ya wait 'til we get th-there?"

"Depends...where?" the blonde said as he tightened his grip around Reno's hardening cock. The Turk shuddered as he jerked slightly into the swordsman's palms.

"P-parkin' lot."

"Sounds int-int'res-...fun."

Reno bit his bottom lip as Cloud slowly began to stroke him as he placed soft, sloppy kisses along his neck.

"I'm g-gonna hook ya up..." Reno said, trying to focus on anything but the hands on him.

"...Wiiiiiith?"

"'Lena."

"What?!" Cloud asked, his eyes going wide and his hands stopping. Reno was caught between gratefulness and longing of the ceased stroking.

"Told ya, 'm gonna get ya laid, Cloudy. 'S the alcohol affectin' yer ears, too?"

"Why her?!" the drunk blonde was sounding more and more angry as the conversation continued.

"'Cause Tifa said she wouldn't have a drunk fuck with ya."

"'S that why we went there?"

"Mainly, that an' ta liquor ya up!" Reno grinned innocently as he heard the soft growl from behind him.

"I ain't sleepin' wiff Tifa or Elena!"

"Well, not yet, of course. But 'Lena owes me a favor."

"I ain't fuckin' 'er! I don't like her! I like you, Reno!"

"I like ya, too, Cloudy-Cakes. Now, will ya fuck a hooker? 'Cause I know a few that ya might like."

"...Pull ov'r."

"...Is that a no to the hookers?"

"Reno," Cloud hissed, tightening his hold over the redhead's cock. "Pull over."

"Can I ask why?"

"I need ta talk ta you."

"So? Just talk."

"...Pull over, damm't!."

"Fine, sheesh!"

The Turk stopped the motorcycle to the side of the road, leaving them on a deserted road with abandoned apartments surrounding them.

"Ya wanted ta talk, yo?" Reno asked, turning his head to look at the blonde.

"Get off 'a Fenrir," the swordsman commanded, still keeping his hands on the pale Turk.

"Kinda can't 'til ya let go, yo."

The blonde pouted, but removed his hands from the confines of the redhead's pants. As soon as Reno was standing, Cloud got off of his bike also, not caring to put up the kickstand, and not even flinching as it crashed to the cement.

"Ya wanted ta talk...?"

"Yer a moron, Reno!"

"...You couldn't say this while on the road?"

"I won't sleep with Tifa or Elena! I don't like them like that! Why'd ya think I came over yer apartm'nt."

"'Cause yer a pussy, yo?"

"No, 'cause I _LIKE _you!"

"Again: I like ya, too, Chocobo-Head. An' I'm sure yer other friends like ya, too. Now, on to the matter of gettin' ya laid-"

"No, ya don' get i', Reno!"

"Huh?"

"Why do ya think I've been grabby wiff ya?!"

"...Lemme guess: 'cause ya like me? ...Do ya fondle all yer friends?"

"Yes! ...No! I really like ya, Reno, you dumb fuck."

"Again: I like ya, too, but there's no need fer name-callin'. ...God, how many times must I say it, yo? But ya molest yer friends?"

"No!"

"But ya said yes!"

"I stay with you 'cause I LIKE YOU!!"

"...We're just goin' in circles!"

"I've been flirtin' wiff you!"

"...Okay, I'm lost."

Cloud growled loudly before he roughly grabbed the Turk by the front of his jacket and pinned him to a rusting fence. The blonde then smashed their lips together in a bruising kiss, his hands grabbing all of the flesh that they could while he ground his hips into the redhead's. He began to undo Reno's shirt, rubbing his chest as he eagerly kissed the thinner man.

"Und'rstand?" Cloud panted when they broke for air.

"...So you do this with Valentine an' Teefs too?"

"Argh! I give up!"

"...I dunno what that means... Yes? No? When she's not on her period? What?"

"Reno, shut up an' give me my reward," Cloud growled appearing to have sobered up a bit.

"Well, let's get back ta yer bike, yo."

"I have a better idea for a reward then sleeping with one of the girls."

"...Which is?"

"Take off yer pants," Cloud said, grinning lustfully at the Turk.

"...What?"

"I know what I want fer a reward an' only you can do it."

"I know: I'm the only one who can get ya laid!"

"Couldn't have said it better myself." Cloud smirked.

"So, let's get back on the road, then!"

"Take them off!" the blonde snarled.

"Why, yo? It'll be uncomfortable driving without pants...possibly dangerous."

"You aren't goin' anywhere."

"I'm not liking where this's goin', yo! I'm gonna be found three weeks later in a shallow grave, ain't I?"

"No."

"Hmm, can't believe ya."

"Either take them off," Cloud said, grinning hungrily. "Or I'll take 'em off for you!"

"Can you at least tell me **_WHY_**, yo?!"

"'M gettin' my reward."

"...Which is?"

"Giving you head." Reno paused unsure of whether or not the blonde was serious. "Now, Reno!"

"B-but-"

Cloud growled before he had enough stalling.

**End of Chapter Eleven  
**

Review for the next chapter. Well, with no school today, an' a possibility of a upcomin' strike, I _might_just lose my mind. ...Might. -_Grins_-Or might end up in the hospital this time, who knows? ...I liked this chapter! How 'bout y'all? I'll prob'ly add another chapter tomorrow if y'all review.

**JeanneAndHerAlters**: -_Laughs hysterically_-Have ta separate 'em to lower chances of a mass orgy!

**Vaishin**: He is! -_Steals cookies and run off_-!

**CupCake-SweetTreats**: They are. Whoo! Cookies! -_Runs away with the sweets, laughing_-.

**What2callmyself**: Reno's as dense as a brick! A Course not! -_Snickers_-'S prob'y used to it! (If I was in Cloud's place, I'd'ave --nice word, huh?-- done the same!) -_Laughs_-Think his last words would be somethin' like: 'More, harder! Oh God! -Pants-Fuck, Cloud!' -_Laughs_-. I know! Hate that sun...

**EvilRaccoon**: True! Well...Reno hasn't denied him...per se. ...He's an inner-blonde!

**Bekas Strife**: -_Laughs_-We'll find out!

**Takemi-Chan**: -_Laughs_-. Really? -_Grins_ _darkly_-Don't have a PSP, but I do have porn on my Shiner!

**Lemon Wine**: I do, an' he is!

**AstroStarr42**: Wait! -_Runs away and returns with a camera_-Okay! ...Carry on, my dears! -_Grins lecherously_-This's SO gettin' e-mailed!

**gaaraismylife**: Thanks!

**carefreecat**: He is!

**VampireChildofDarkness**: Oh, but he is!

**yumie-darkness123**: -_Laughs_-YEAH!! -_Snickers_-Would ya accept lemon squares? Daily servin' of lemon right there! ...I'm a smart ass, I know! Yay! Treats... Now, what do chocobos on sugar do?


	12. Chapter 12

Title: Blondes

Disclaimer: If I owned this would I be here? C'mon people, think!

Setting: Pick one. I'm too lazy/wired to decide.

Summary: Are blondes really that dumb? How long can you answer a blonde's question with another question? Do blondes really have more fun? How quickly do they react when put in a strange situation? How quickly can you annoy a blonde to the point that they scream? What is foreplay for a blonde? How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? How do you confuse a blonde? How do you keep a blonde in suspense? Reno plans on finding out...with Cloud.

Warnings: Um…hmm. Think I've used them all before-grins-. Basically, anything I can think up. I'll just see there my mind takes this…could be anywhere-grins-. If you've read any of my other stories…you know what you're in for. If not, you'll see!

Side Notes:  
1) This story will have romance at the end…or very close to it.  
2) If you have any suggestions, feel free to send them in a review.  
3) Same goes for any ideas for future chapters...ideas, suggestions; they're different in my little world.  
4) Will end in smut…as some of you who have read my fics already know!!  
5) Each chapter will be a different question.  
6) My spelling sucks...Wordpad...again...  
7) Flames will not be tolerated-glares evilly-. This is your only warning.

**Chapter Twelve: Foreplay**

The blonde reached over and roughly unbuckled his pants before tearing them down the redhead's legs. "...Blue boxers?" Cloud asked, grinning cheerfully at the blushing Turk. "Nice choice." The blonde licked his lips as he looked over the pale skin before him. He then finished tearing off Reno's shirt and jacket, letting them fall to the floor.

"H-hey now ya don't gotta tear 'em ta shreds," he said before finding himself pinned to the fence again.

"Reno."

"Y-yeah?"

"Shut up."

As the Turk opened his mouth to retort, Cloud roughly pressed their mouths together, enjoying the taste as his tongue roamed over every possible inch of the redhead's mouth. At first, Reno stood there dumbly, though he eventually began to kiss the blonde back. He carefully wrapped his arms around the swordsman's neck, feeling cold hands encircle his hardening cock, sending a shiver through his spine.

Cloud harshly kissed Reno until his lips were a vibrant shade of crimson, parting to take shallow breaths before attacking his neck, leaving dark marks in his wake. Reno was struggling to take deep breaths, finding it all the more difficult when the blonde nipped at one of his nipples.

"C-Christ Cloud," the redhead breathed, his thin fingers threading through golden locks.

"Hold that thought," Cloud said, smirking as he looked him in the eyes. "You'll be screamin' it soon enough." Hearing this, the Turk flushed a deep color, noticing the hungry look Cloud has as he looked him over.

Cloud smirked as he released the throbbing cock in his hands. His smirk widened even more at the desperate sound that emanated from the Turk's throat.

"I can only imagine what you'll look like after 'm through with ya. Well, _for now _I can only imagine. ...Soon I'll see it," Cloud said, grinning as he began to lay soft kisses and nips and he trailed down the pale, unmarked skin.

Reno shuddered and the blonde paid special attention to his nipples, sucking roughly on one while toying with the other before eventually switching between the two. When he dipped even lower, Cloud dropped to his knees in front of the Turk, looking up and grinning triumphantly at the redhead.

As he looked up, the blonde reached up and trailed his fingertips gently down the pale chest, relishing in the fact that the muscles twitched and the skin prickled. He licked his lips as Reno looked down at him.

His hands traveled down to the Turk's thighs, massaging the muscles before he leaned in close, his hot breath hitting the dripping cock and making Reno shiver. He stuck out his tongue and gently licked a trail up the underside of the pulsating cock, from base to flushed crown.

A low groan came from Reno, who tightly gripped Cloud's unruly hair. The blonde licked his lips again as he looked up at Reno, taking in the sight of him biting his bottom lip with eyes closed, his body trembling slightly. The blonde reached up and gently cupped the redhead's balls, gently rubbing the soft sac, making the Turk groan sensually.

"Moan my name; no one else can hear you," Cloud said before he leaned forward and ran his tongue across the dripping head, picking up the fluids on his tongue. He took in the salty flavor, picking up a hint of something he had not truly tasted before.

Reno moaned louder than he had before, but it was not what the swordsman wanted to hear; his name.

"It's not that hard, Reno," he said as he nipped at the oozing crown, hoping for more of a reaction.

"Jesus, Cloud!" the Turk shouted, biting down on his bottom lip fiercely.

"Much better."

Cloud then decided to take more of his reward and swallowed the tip of Reno's cock, making the redhead buck into his mouth slightly as he cried out again. The blonde began to gently suck on the heated flesh, drawing out more fluids before holding onto Reno's hips to keep him in control of how fast he moved and how slow he tortured him.

The Turk began to pant the blonde's name as he dug his fingers farther into the golden tresses. Cloud smirked around the hardened flesh, feeling how quick Reno's heart was beating through the pulse coming from the hard flesh in his mouth. As he took in more of the flesh, the Turk grew more vocal.

"Oh, God!" Reno cried out. "M-more, Cloud! P-please!"

Hearing these cries, Cloud's heart swelled, and he appeased the Turk, hearing more panting and moaning as he sucked as hard as he dared, his head bobbing up and down on the flesh, making the trembling increase.

"Nngh... Where'd ya g-get so...good at this, yo? Don't fuckin' stop. ...Ever."

Cloud grinned as he continued to pleasure the redhead. Using a free hand, he reached into his own pants and began to caress his neglected cock, focusing more on the Turks pleasure than his own.

He grazed his teeth along the sensitive skin, loving Reno's reaction to the sudden feeling.

"Oh fuck!! A-again...m-more pressure. Please!"

The blonde followed what he wanted, making the Turk quiver and plead for more. He continued to gently squeeze the Turk's balls with his other hand, putting more of the redhead's will under his control.

"Cloud, 'm g-gonna-" He was cut off as the blonde in mention nipped at the nip of his cock, running his tongue along the underside as he continued to voraciously suck the flesh.

"F-fer the love of Ch-Christ, Cloud!" he moaned, trying to keep from coming in the blonde's mouth. Mako-enhanced eyes looked up at the redhead, giving him a silent approval as he sucked even harder, making Reno come with a shout of his name.

Cloud grinned as the hot fluid spurted into his mouth, eagerly sampling the flavors before swallowing. The blonde had already come, just a bit after Reno had, leaving his pants hot and sticky.

He rose to his feet and happily kissed the redhead on the lips, placing his hands on the pale this hips before him. Looking at said hips after he kissed the Turk senseless, Cloud realized that he was going to have bruises in the shapes of his hands, his fingers and the very least.

"Now," Cloud said, grinning happilly at the redhead. "_That _was a reward." Reno nodded eagerly. "We should do it again sometime."

"Felt like I was the one r-rewarded, yo," Reno said, breathlessly.

"Trust me," the blonde said, reaching down and pulling up the Turk's forgotten pants, swiftly closing them. "It was a _great _reward on my part." Reno grinned stunningly at the blonde before putting on his shirt and jacket. The swordsman was seeming more sober than he was earlier.

"Damn, y-ya tore off the bu-buttons, yo."

"Too bad for you. It's perfectly fine for me."

"...So, Cloudy, is _this _what ya meant by sayin': I like ya?"

"You're a moron, Reno," the blonde said, smiling.

"So, is that a no?"

"Yes."

"Yes yes, or yes no?"

Cloud smirked as he tightly grabbed a hold of the Turk's limp cock.

"Take a guess. Guess wrong and you might never have kids."

"That's a yes?"

"Good choice. Now, let's get home."

"I'll drive," reno offered, before he stumbled forward, just to be held upright by the blonde.

"_I'll _drive."

"Yer drunk, though."

"And you're fucked, so either way, I'm driving."

"Hey, Cloudy-Pie?"

"Yeah?" Cloud asked as he led them to his overturned bike.

"Do ya always give head to people ya like? I'm mean...like-like?"

"Never."

"Never? But ye just..."

"Reno, come here."

"Yer pullin' me, Cloudy, I **_am _**here."

"No, Reno. Come _here_."

"Where?" The Turk looked at him, utterly confused, which just made the blonde grin wolfishly at his new prize.

"Here," he said softly, pulling the redhead until their bodies were firmly pressed together. "You're so cute," he whispered into the Turk's ear as he firmly squeezed Reno's ass making the man yelp in surprise. "Let's go home."

"W-wait! Y-ya can't just go an' grab a guy without-"

"Come on, Reno. I've got much to do still."

"...Like?"

"You'll see."

**End of Chapter Eleven  
**

Review for the next chapter. Felt like updatin' a lot sooner than normal. An' I just learned that my family's insensitive assholes. When I couldn't breathe, they stood around an' laughed for a while. ...Nice, huh? Now, I'm gonna pass out an' pray for a swift death.

**Bekas Strife**: -_Snickers_-Well, we could always test that, but I'm gonna go with: he could!

**carefreecat**: Maybe, maybe not.

**EvilRaccoon**: -_Laughs_-Umm...yay?

**tala-fangirl**: He is!

**AstroStarr42**: -_Laughs_-.

**VampireChildofDarkness**: Yup!

**Vaishin**: -_Grins_-I hear ya.

**yumie-darkness123**: -_Smiles_-Thanks.

**Takemi-Chan**: -_Snickers_-It's Valenwind porn. ...An' RenoCloud. ...An' TifaSomeone. -_Laughs_-He is! Let the suckin' commence!

**What2callmyself**: -_Laughs_-He does! Proof that I'm blonde: didn't even notice that! Oh, he will...eventually. I like ta think the Reno's an extreme blonde: way too oblivious to be one. -_Grins_-...He is to blonde, what blonde is to brunette. Hm, that all depends on whether or not he decided to wear boxers! ...His mind finally did.

**CupCake-SweetTreats**: Yup. Thanks. Mmm, plushies...what ta make 'em do...

**JeanneAndHerAlters**: -_Grins_-Of course. He needs some lovin', too! -_Laughs_-I'll gladly go there! ...An' take photo's fer evidence! ...At least, the first roll will be, the rest will be displayed! -_Twitches_-soul-consumin' goodies... I'd be worried if I had a soul, but I don't, so: MINE!!


	13. Chapter 13

Title: Blondes

Disclaimer: If I owned this would I be here? C'mon people, think!

Setting: Pick one. I'm too lazy/wired to decide.

Summary: Are blondes really that dumb? How long can you answer a blonde's question with another question? Do blondes really have more fun? How quickly do they react when put in a strange situation? How quickly can you annoy a blonde to the point that they scream? What is foreplay for a blonde? How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? How do you confuse a blonde? How do you keep a blonde in suspense? Reno plans on finding out...with Cloud.

Warnings: Um…hmm. Think I've used them all before-grins-. Basically, anything I can think up. I'll just see there my mind takes this…could be anywhere-grins-. If you've read any of my other stories…you know what you're in for. If not, you'll see!

Side Notes:  
1) This story will have romance at the end…or very close to it.  
2) If you have any suggestions, feel free to send them in a review.  
3) Same goes for any ideas for future chapters...ideas, suggestions; they're different in my little world.  
4) Will end in smut…as some of you who have read my fics already know!!  
5) Each chapter will be a different question.  
6) My spelling sucks...Wordpad...again...  
7) Flames will not be tolerated-glares evilly-. This is your only warning.

**Chapter Thirteen: Nicknames  
**

Cloud grinned as he reached down and pulled his bike up until it was standing right. "Well? Get on," the blonde said, while keeping Fenrir upright. As Reno got on the the machine, the swordsman climbed on behind him, grinning from ear to ear.

"Ya sure I shouldn't-" Reno started to say.

"Reno, listen carefully so your addled, little mind can understand what I'm about to say. You aren't gonna drive. I am. Get it?" The redhead nodded, feeling Cloud's hands rub his thighs before grabbing the steering for his motorbike. Reno bit his bottom lip as the hands ran up his thighs, attempting to keep from moaning out loud.

"Hang on tight," Cloud warned, grinning happily before speeding down the abandoned road. At the sudden jolt of speed, Reno reached for Cloud, awkwardly holding onto the hips of the blonde behind him.

"Jesus, give a bit more warnin' next time, Cloudy-Cakes!" he snapped, turning in an attempt to glare at the blonde.

Cloud laughed, "Where's the fun in that?"

"I dunno, how's 'bout NOT havin' a fuckin' heart attack?!"

"Seem fine to me!"

The redheaded Turk pouted on the trip to his apartment, which made Cloud smile as he plotted.

"Reno," Cloud called as they pulled into the parking lot in front of his apartment. "Any preferences for lunch?"

"Lunch? We can just eat some of yer leftover soup, yo," Reno said, having already gotten over his sulky mood. "Like I already told ya: ya don't have ta cook."

"It's not that hard."

"Neither's microwaving, Cloudy-Skies."

"Well, what would you like?"

"I dunno, yo."

Cloud chuckled as he stopped Fenrir, putting up the stand before they got off of the machine.

"Ya know, I never got ta ask ya..." Reno started to say as they walked towards the main doors.

"Yeah?"

"How'd you find out where I live, Chocobo-Head? 'Cause it ain't exactly common knowledge." Cloud turned bright red as he heard this question. "Yer gonna pass out if ya keep that up, yo."

"Umm..."

"What? C'mon, ya can tell me! It ain't like ya've been followin' me around or somethin', Cloudy." Seeing the way that the blonde avoided looking him in the eyes, Reno figured it out. "Wait a damn minute! Ya actually-"

"So, Reno, any decisions on lunch yet?" Cloud asked, hoping to change the subject.

"I already told ya- Wait! Ya can't just change the damn subject, Cloudy-Pie!"

"...Who said I was?"

"Well, I just- ...Yer messin' with me, ain't chya?" Cloud just grinned before entering the apartment complex.

"..Noooo...never."

"...Shut up, yo." Reno muttered before following the blonde to his apartment, having already forgotten his line of questioning. The redhead yawned as the entered his apartment, stretching as he did so, unaware of the vibrant blue eyes that watched him. Cloud's eyes roamed over the pale, marked fesh that was visible through his open shirt. "'M gonna get a new shirt," he announced before sauntering into his room, yawning once more.

"I'll start lunch."

"Ugh, just microwave somethin', it ain't that hard, I swear!"

"But it doesn't taste that good, either, Reno."

"...What world do ya live in, Rowdy-Cloudy?!"

"The real world. Enjoy your stay here, Reno."

"Oh, that's _real _funny Blondie-Cakes!" Reno bit out, pouting a bit as he walked into his living room, wearing a loose fitting t-shirt and jeans. "Ya should start doin' comedy, yo!"

"No need to get snarky, Reno."

"I ain't!"

"...Whatever."

"I ain't, you Emo..." Getting a glare from the blonde, he continued. "...tional, Big-Softie, you."

"I know what you were about to say."

"I didn't say it, though!"

"Barely."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, Cloudy-Pillows."

"What?"

"What what?"

"Did you just call me...Cloudy-Pillows?"

"Yup!" Reno said, grinning widely as he walked into his kitchen, standing to the side of the puzzled blonde.

"I know I'm going to regret this...but, here goes: why?"

"Well, yer name is Cloudy-"

"Cloud."

"-An' ya always hear how pillows're like fluffy clouds. So-"

"I get it. I just have a question for you."

"Which is...?" Reno asked, looking over Cloud's shoulder as the blonde put different ingredients on the counter. Instantly, the redhead found himself pinned to said counter by th swordsman. His breath paused in his throat momentarily as the man drew closer.

"Why do you call me by so many nicknames?"

"Uhh..." he froze, wondering what to say. "'Cause...I...like you?" Cloud smiled happily, kissing Reno briefly on the lips before turning back to the meal he was preparing.

"Good answer," the blonde replied. "So, is steak all right?"

"...Is it microwaved, Shroudy-Cloudy?"

"No."

"C'mon, yo. It ain't that hard, say it with me: mi-cro-wave!"

"Reno-"

"Nope, ya've been cookin' way too much, Cloudy-Puss."

"...What the hell?!"

"I'm sure I've got some microwavable meals in the freezer."

"I threw those out."

"...Fer a second there, I almost believed ya. ... ...Ya _were _jokin'...right, Clammy-Cakes."

"No. They had freezer burn."

"They did not, yo!"

"Then what do _you _call it, Reno-Cakes?"

"_Reno-Cakes_? That's just creepy, yo. Plus, they were...ripenin'?"

"Not like that, they don't. So, steak?"

"I dunno, yo. Ya've gotta stop cookin' though, Wifey-Strifey."

"...How many nicknames have you thought of?!"

"I dunno. Hey, I gotta idea!"

"...Yeah?"

**End of Chapter Thirteen  
**

Review for the next chapter. You've got no idea how hard it is to write one of these chapters while listenin' ta "Faggot"! Laughed so hard it hurt! Sorry for the wait, I was passed out fer most of the weekend, makes updatin' kinda hard.

**JeannaAndHerAlters**: -_Grins_-I saw EVERYTHIN'! ...An' I'll take those sights ta the grave...with the exception of the tapes! -_Laughs_-. Woo hoo! -_Grabs treats and runs for the hills_-.

**AstroStarr42**: Love ya too, sweetie.

**CupCake-SweetTreats**: Yay! More plushies fer me!

**Vaishin**: -_Twitches_-Coooooooookiiiiiiiiieeeeeessssssssss...

**EvilRaccoon**: Yup! Finally!

**Bekas Strife**: Of course! -_Laughs_-But he's a pretty brick!

**NicotineGum**: -_Laughs_-Think ya're review got cut off there, babe. Slow enough of an update, though?

**carefreecat**: An' voila! -_Snickers_-Now ya know.

**Mahoko**: -_Laughs_-Maybe that's why Reno doesn't swim, he'd sink 'cause he's so dense! Ta the mpreg: NEVER!! I ain't _that _insane!

**yumie-darkenss123**: Thanks. -_Grins_-Yay fer cookies! 'Specially the sugar ones... An' all the other ones...

**Lemon Wine**: -_Smiles_-.

**kacame**: Thanks, an' he is!

**:P**: Wait no more!


	14. Chapter 14

Title: Blondes

Disclaimer: If I owned this would I be here? C'mon people, think!

Setting: Pick one. I'm too lazy/wired to decide.

Summary: Are blondes really that dumb? How long can you answer a blonde's question with another question? Do blondes really have more fun? How quickly do they react when put in a strange situation? How quickly can you annoy a blonde to the point that they scream? What is foreplay for a blonde? How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? How do you confuse a blonde? How do you keep a blonde in suspense? Reno plans on finding out...with Cloud.

Warnings: Um…hmm. Think I've used them all before-grins-. Basically, anything I can think up. I'll just see there my mind takes this…could be anywhere-grins-. If you've read any of my other stories…you know what you're in for. If not, you'll see!

Side Notes:  
1) This story will have romance at the end…or very close to it.  
2) If you have any suggestions, feel free to send them in a review.  
3) Same goes for any ideas for future chapters...ideas, suggestions; they're different in my little world.  
4) Will end in smut…as some of you who have read my fics already know!!  
5) Each chapter will be a different question.  
6) My spelling sucks...Wordpad...again...  
7) Flames will not be tolerated-glares evilly-. This is your only warning.

**Chapter Fourteen: Arguments  
**

"We're eatin' out, yo!" Reno said, grinning happily. "That way, ya don't have ta cook, an' I ain't gotta feel guilty!"

"Guilty? Why would you feel guilty?" Cloud asked, looking at the redhead in confusion. In return, the Turk grinned meekly at him, hoping to avoid answering. "Come on, Reno. You can tell me."

"Ugh," he sighed, knowing that the blonde was not going to give up the topic until he got an answer. "Fine. Well, yer the guest, an' all ya've been doin' is cookin' fer me, even though ya didn't _have _ta." Cloud smiled and instantly Reno was on alert. "What? ...S-stop smilin' Cloudy-Pie. 'S creepin' me out. ...Quit it! C'mon, yo! Ya ain't supposed to smile! Yer Emo-Cloudy! Ya _don't _smile!" His smile just grew and the turk began to panic. "Frown already, dammit! What're ya, havin' a stroke or somethin'?!"

"No," the blonde replied, just smiling more, watching as Reno squirmed under his gaze. He reached forward and pulled him into a crushing hug. "You're so cute, Reno."

"C-cant...br-bre-breathe!"

"Sorry!" Cloud said, letting go of the thinner man. "But, Reno, I cook because I want to, not because I have to."

"But ya cook so damn much, Cloudy!"

"No, you just eat too little."

"Do not!"

"Explain how skinny you are, then. And why your refrigerator was so empty."

"I get a lotta exercise on the job. An' I haven't gotten ta shoppin' yet. Why? Ya act like I'm starvin' or somethin'."

"Practically!"

"Was not, Chocobo-Head!"

"I stand by what I said, and if we _even _go out to eat, I'm paying."

"Woah, the fuck's that mean?"

"Which part?"

"The '_even_' part! ...An' the payin' part." Reno pouted at the blonde, crossing his arms over his chest as he looked at the blonde.

"I _am _paying, Reno."

"...Wait a damn minute...the hell're we arguin' 'bout this fer?"

"...I'm not too sure."

Reno started to laugh, which made Cloud smile again.

"We're messed up, yo!"

"Speak for yourself, Reno!" Cloud said, smirking at the redhead.

"Ha! Yeah right, Wifey-Strifey! Yer as messed up as they come!"

"I am not!"

"Ya loved Sephiroth! _SEPHIROTH_!!"

"I did not! I _admired _him, but I didn't _love _him!"

"Suuuuuuure ya didn't."

"I didn't!"

"Well, ya loved...what's her name... In the pink? Flowers with her?"

"Aeris."

"Yeah, her!"

"I didn't love her, either!"

"Dude, ya pinned fer her fer like..._ferever_!"

"I did not! Even if I _did, _that just means that I fell in love with people. it doesn't make me 'messed up'!"

"They're dead! An' ya _still _love 'em! Plus, ya seem ta fall fer that which ya can't have, Cloudy."

"No I don't!"

"Seph? Dude with spiky black hair? Teefs? Aeris? All of 'em ya couldn't have, three are dead, an' ya still love 'em, even though ya can't be with 'em."

"...Reno..." Cloud growled, looking irritated at the redhead.

"...I have the feelin' that I'm 'bout ta get hit...or yelled at... Yeah?"

"No." The blonde looked plainly at the Turk, keeping eye contact. "Listen carefully, Reno. ...Are you listening?"

"Yeah, Cloudy, I ain't dumb. ...I ain't!"

"Good. And I didn't say that you were. ...Now, I don't love any of them. I only love one person right now."

"'S Yuffs, right?" Reno asked grinning.

"I take that back. You _ARE _dumb!"

"Hey!"

"Reno, who's cock did I suck earlier?"

"That depends."

"On what?!"

"How long were ya awake fer I woke up?"

"...I'll make this easy word problem even easier for you. Listen to me: I only sucked _one _cock in my entire life. ...Get it?"

"Then that means..."

"YES! Do you understand now?!"

"But then ya mean that..."

"Do I have to come out and say it?"

"It might help, yo."

"Argh! Fine. I love **_you_**, Reno, you damn moron."

"Ya mean you..."

"Yes."

"An' ta me..."

"Yes."

"Then ya're..."

"Do you want me to draw it out for you?!"

"I think I get it, yo."

"FINALLY! Just took you a few days!"

"Well, 'scuse me fer not understandin' yer chocobo ways!"

"Don't make me hurt you, Reno."

"'S that a challege? Bring it, Choco-Boy!"

Cloud grinned as he and Reno both took offensive stances. "Did you already forget who kicked your Turk ass over the past years?"

"Sheer dumb luck!"

"For years?!"

"...I can take ya!"

"Bring it, Red!"

"Aww, what happened ta 'Reno-Cakes'?" the Turk said as he and the blonde circled each other in the small kitchen. The swordsman blushed while Reno took a quick jab at his side, making Cloud flinch away. "What's wrong, are ya ticklish?"

"No!"

"I think ya are, yo!"

"Oh yeah? What about you?"

"Like I'd just _tell _ya? Get real, Cloudy-Puss!"

"Reno, soon you'll find yourself face down on your floor with me on top."

"Yeah, if I _trip_!"

"You're _so _going down!"

"Lotta talk, but I see no walkin', Blondie!"

"I'm going to love pinning you to the ground!"

Reno grinned. "Yeah, ya can hold onto that thought when ya find yerself pressed into my floor!"

"That it! It's on, now!"

"Like I said earlier: bring it, yo!" Reno said, grinning cockily right before Cloud lunged at him.

**End of Chapter Fourteen  
**

Review for the next chapter. I'm beginning' (have like 2!) ta run outta questions. So, I'm thinkin' that it'll just be Reno messin' with Cloud fer most of the time. Either that or I end it. So, whatchya'll think? End or drag ass as long as...well I dunno. Would'ave updated yesterday, but I passed out, so, sorry?

**Bekas Strife**: -_Laughs_-Yup, 's what I do! -_Hums "Faggot"_-Such a good song. Aww, but then ya'd just have brick powder an' an annoyed Reno!

**JeanneAndHerAlters**: Ooohhh, Chibi Vince and Rufus? ...I can make that work! -_Grabs sweets and starts to work_-Mmm, sugar make the worl go 'round...'specially the soul-consumin' kind! ...If only I had a soul... -_Snickers_-.

**Mahoko**: -_Grins_-The ass? I dunno. Well, I guess he had ta clean out the fridge, 's that count?

**carefreecat**: It will!

**CupCake-SweetTreats**: -_Grabs bucket_-MINE!!

**D3OPH3ST**: It is! -_Grins_-Yeah, I can't do that either...turns out kinda odd! New name?

**kacame**: Here ya go!

**tala-fangirl**: Here ya go, sweetie.

**Vaishin**: -_Laughs hysterically_-.

**NicotineGum**: -_Grins widely_-Yeah, this's unlike the smut-filled CO. Simple: NO ONE can!

**EvilRaccoon**: -_Laughs_-He will! ...An' we'll watch...

**AstroStarr42**: -_Laughs_-I can see that happenin'!

**-VeNgEfUl PoEt-**: Umm, pass! That makes me kinda weirded out.

**yumie-darkness123**: -_Twitches_-Bake away!

**Toons**: -_Laughs_-Nope, didn't even think of that!

**Deinde**: -_Pouts_-I want a few dozen...multiply that by a million!

**Kaisha Shiori**: -_Twitches_-God, I love candy, ya'd think I'd be diabetic by now! No need ta apologize, 's all good!


	15. Chapter 15

Title: Blondes

Disclaimer: If I owned this would I be here? C'mon people, think!

Setting: Pick one. I'm too lazy/wired to decide.

Summary: Are blondes really that dumb? How long can you answer a blonde's question with another question? Do blondes really have more fun? How quickly do they react when put in a strange situation? How quickly can you annoy a blonde to the point that they scream? What is foreplay for a blonde? How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? How do you confuse a blonde? How do you keep a blonde in suspense? Reno plans on finding out...with Cloud.

Warnings: Um…hmm. Think I've used them all before-grins-. Basically, anything I can think up. I'll just see there my mind takes this…could be anywhere-grins-. If you've read any of my other stories…you know what you're in for. If not, you'll see!

Side Notes:  
1) This story will have romance at the end…or very close to it.  
2) If you have any suggestions, feel free to send them in a review.  
3) Same goes for any ideas for future chapters...ideas, suggestions; they're different in my little world.  
4) Will end in smut…as some of you who have read my fics already know!!  
5) Each chapter will be a different question.  
6) My spelling sucks...Wordpad...again...  
7) Flames will not be tolerated-glares evilly-. This is your only warning.

**Chapter Fifteen: Unfinished Business  
**

Reno attempted to jump out of the way, but was knocked to the ground when Cloud hooked an arm around the Turk's waist. As they hit the floor with a loud thud, the redhead rolled over, using his weight to keep the blonde pressed into the tiles. "Ha! Like ya can just-"

He grunted as Cloud roughly flipped them over again, taking control over the situation. As they struggled, Reno tried to gain the upper hand, but soon found himself face-first on his floor, pouting. "You were saying, Reno?" Cloud said, leaning down so his mouth was right next to the Turk's ear, his hot breath sending a chill down his spine.

"No fair!" he whined, twisting around in a futile attempt to free his wrists from the blonde strong grip. "You've got freaky, genetic-twisted strength!"

"So?" Cloud purred, licking a trail around the shell of the Turk's ear. "Do something about it."

"If I could, I would, Blondie," Reno muttered, shivering as hot breath spread across the wet area, forcing him to force down a moan. "Ya gotta at least give me a chance, yo!"

"You've had plenty of chances, Reno," the blonde replied, smirking as he pressed his body firmly against the thin one underneath his, making it so every portion that could touch, would. "It's not my fault that you didn't see then."

"Could be."

"Either way," Cloud continued, pressing his hips insistently against Reno's ass, making sure he felt the growing bulge. "I'm still making good use of my chances." Instantly, the redhead's face heated up, his skin matching the color of his hair.

"J-Jesus, Cloudy-Cakes," he stuttered, suddenly finding himself ling on his back with the blonde lying on top of him, their faces almost touching. The swordsman grinned wolfishly as he rolled his hips forward, grinding them against the redhead's. A stifled groan came from the Turk and Cloud relinquished his hold on the man's wrists, feeling his arms wrap around his neck, keeping him close.

Cloud grinned even more as he closed the gap between them, forcibly kissing the Turk. Reno moaned into the kiss, feeling the blonde's hot tongue slip into his mouth, ravaging him for all he was worth. The blonde swordsman's hands roamed down his chest, reveling in the feeling of slim muscles twitching from the touch. When he broke the kiss, their eyes locked, the both of them panting.

"I love that sound," Cloud purred in a sultry tone.

"What? Me...strugglin' ta breathe? Sadist."

"No," he replied, smiling. "You moaning underneath me." Reno flushed bright red, but still grinned lopsidedly at the blonde.

"Mmm, then maybe we should get things movin', don't chya think so, Cloudy-Puss?"

Hearing the suggestion, Cloud nodded eagerly, a wide smile spread over his face.

"S-still's fuckin' creepy when ya smile like that, yo."

"Then it looks like you'll have to get used to it."

"Why? Ain't like ya smile all day 'r nothin'."

"You'll see," he commented, quickly getting to his feet. "Now, I believe you suggested that we get moving?" He reached out and helped Reno to his feet before easily lifting the man into his arms. "How easily are your neighbors annoyed by screaming?"

"Ya think highly of yerself, Chocobo-Head," Reno commented. "I like that!" Clooud smirked before sprinting to the bedroom with the Turk held protectively in his arms. Halfway to the room, urgent knocking came from the front door, making the blonde stop in his tracks. "They'll go away," he tried to reason. "C'mon, yo! Ya can't get me goin' ta just leave me hard an' hangin'!"

"...How can you be hanging if you're hard?" Cloud asked, grinning pervertedly.

"Perv!" Reno said, grinning as Cloud began to walk towards the room again.

"Reno!" a voice called from the front door, making the blonde pause.

"Oh, come _on_!" the redhead hissed, glaring at his front door.

"It seems important, Reno," Cloud commented, even though he looked like he was ready to just bolt into the Turk's room and never come out.

"So's finishin' what ya started!" the redhead whined. "An' I've got a stiffy that ya've got ta finish seein' how ya started it!"

"Reno!" Rude called again, making his partner groan in frustration. "Open up! This's an emergency!"

"As soon as he leaves?" Cloud offered as he put the Turk back onto his feet.

"An' not a damn second after," Reno growled, already beginning to hate his friend. He walked over to the door, glaring at it all the while. "What?" he snapped once it opened, revealing the bald Turk.

"We've found them!"

"What?!"

"We've got them! Tseng was able to put a trace on them! We've got to hurry or we might lose them!"

"B-but it's my day off!" Reno whined, almost forgetting about the confused blonde behind them.

"We need you in on this, Reno. Everything's been set up already."

"But-" Reno turned and looked between the blonde and his partner, biting his lip. He knew he was close to relieving more tension, but he also knew that he was also needed elsewhere.

"Just hurry back," Cloud said, nodding his approval, no matter how much he just wanted to claim the redhead as his own.

"We'll be back soon, Wifey-Cakes!"

"Wifey-Cakes?!" Rude asked, looking at the pair with wide eyes. "I don't want to know."

Reno sneered at his partner before walking towards towards the door, looking back to wink at the blonde. "As soon as I get back, **_promise_**, yo! Ya still've gotta finish what ya started!" Cloud smirked at him, licking his lips and making the redhead blush while Rude began to feel completely uncomfortable.

"You can count on it. I'll just take a shower in the mean time," the blonde replied.

"A cold one?" he asked, grinning mischievously.

"Of course." Reno nodded before heading out of the apartment, though, as Rude turned around, a voice called out to him. "Rude, a word?" Athough it was a question, the bald Turk knew that if he didn't appeal to the blonde, he would be limping, if Cloud was feeling generous, out of the apartment.

"...Yeah?" he asked, turning around. A cold feeling of dread came over his body at the cold, deadly look he was given.

"As _soon _as something happens, and not a second after, I _want _to know about it. And if anything happens to Reno...and I _mean _anything...I **_will _**be called, understood?" The Turk nodded, seeing the pure rage that lied beyond the glowing, blue eyes. "You're going to make sure he gets back here in one piece, right?" at the sudden nod, he grinned. "Good answer. Otherwise you, along with the rest of Shinra Inc., would pay, get it?" Another nod, and Cloud was grinning almost evilly. "Good. Now you can tell Rufus about this conversation, but no one else. Now, Reno's waiting, don't keep him away for too long."

"I'll...umm...tell Rufus."

"Good. Now, run along."

As soon as this was said, Rude ran as far away from the blonde as he could. For a while, Cloud just stood there, glaring at he spot where Rude just stood. He finally gathered his senses and closed the door, walking to the bathroom with the plan of taking a quick, cold shower, then finding out exactly what was going on over at Shinra Inc.

"I believe Rufus needs to be paid another visit," he growled out loud, storming into the bathroom, removing his clothes as he neared the room. He grinned, knowing that even if Rude told Rufus what he had just said, the other blonde would not be completely expecting what was about to happen.

**End of Chapter Fifteen  
**

Review for the next chapter. For some reason, "So Sick" by Flyleaf prompted this. Go figure. Sorry fer how short it is, the next one'll be longer, promise!

**Bekas Strife**: -_Laughs_-Never though 'bout that, but now I am!

**carefreecat**: -_Grins_-It's almost like ya _knew _I could be bribed!

**yumie-darkness123**: -_Twitches_-LEt there be cake...wait, that's wrong... -_Pulls out knife_-Oh well!

**CupCake-SweetTreats**: -_Laughs_-Ya'd be surprised just how long! But, yeah, I'm gonna have ta use that, now! Yay, fer plushies!

**Mahoko**: -_Laughs_-True! -_Grins meekly_-Ya know what, sweetie-pie, been debatin' that one. Can't come to a conclusion 'bout whether or not I should end it after the next update an start part two of it as a new (not really) story. ...I kinda don't wanna have the count go over a hundred. Whatchya think?

**JeanneAndHerAlters**: -_Laughs_-Think its still applies! Know how ya feel, though. -_Takes soul-consumin' treats_-Mmm...so good. Wish ya ta get better!

**AstroStarr42**: -_Chuckles_-Umm...no?

**tala-fangirl**: -_Laughs_-Funny part, it's not even that; it's lunch!

**D3OPH3ST**: I think so, too! -_Laughs_-I can usually catch myself before handin' it in...uusally. Hmm...no idea what that means...an' I'm far too lazy ta look it up.

**EvilRaccoon**: True! -_Smiles_-Mmm...cookie.


	16. Chapter 16

Title: Blondes

Disclaimer: If I owned this would I be here? C'mon people, think!

Setting: Pick one. I'm too lazy/wired to decide.

Summary: Are blondes really that dumb? How long can you answer a blonde's question with another question? Do blondes really have more fun? How quickly do they react when put in a strange situation? How quickly can you annoy a blonde to the point that they scream? What is foreplay for a blonde? How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? How do you confuse a blonde? How do you keep a blonde in suspense? Reno plans on finding out...with Cloud.

Warnings: Um…hmm. Think I've used them all before-grins-. Basically, anything I can think up. I'll just see there my mind takes this…could be anywhere-grins-. If you've read any of my other stories…you know what you're in for. If not, you'll see!

Side Notes:  
1) This story will have romance at the end…or very close to it.  
2) If you have any suggestions, feel free to send them in a review.  
3) Same goes for any ideas for future chapters...ideas, suggestions; they're different in my little world.  
4) Will end in smut…as some of you who have read my fics already know!!  
5) Each chapter will be a different question.  
6) My spelling sucks...Wordpad...again...  
7) Flames will not be tolerated-glares evilly-. This is your only warning.

**Chapter Sixteen: Understand  
**

Reno practically ran to Rude's car, wanting to finish the mission as quickly. After climbing into the passenger's seat, having been forbidden from ever driving the car ever again, he stared at the entrance to his apartment complex, wondering what was taking the bald man so long. His curiosity was piqued when said bald man come running into the parking lot, looking quite pale and shaken up.

"Woah, what happened ta ya, yo? Did ol' Ms. Sorenson come out of her apartment again?" Reno asked, grinning almost evilly at his friend.

"No. But that woud have been better," Rude muttered, still looking pale as he started up his car.

"Better than a 90-something year-old woman grabbin' fer your 'dark chocolate'?" the redhead asked, grinning as he looked slightly puzzled. "What could be worse than that?"

"You don't want to know."

"Was it Mr. Sorenson grabbin' fer ya?"

"As creepy as that is, I would prefer it."

Reno choked as he stared incredulously at his partner.

"Okay, now ya _HAVE_ ta tell me! An' ya mind slowin' down? I don't wanna be thrown outta the car if ya hit somethin' at this speed."

Hearing this, Rude nearly pulled the car into a complete stop, puzzling the redheaded Turk even more.

"So...? What happened, yo?"

"...Cloud."

"Cloud happened? I don't get it. ...Is this like a word puzzle or somethin'? 'Cause I'm-"

"Reno," Rude called out, driving towards Shinra Inc. once more. "Cloud is...what's the right word..._protective_..."

"Yeah? So what? Most people are-"

"No, he's gone _beyond _normal protectiveness! He's _scary_-protective!"

"Scary-protective? The hell can you be-"

"Just for the love of God, don't die on this mission. If you do, we all will, too!"

"Aww, I didn't know ya cared, Rude!" Reno cooed, smirking.

"This isn't a joke, Reno!"

"Yeah, yeah, ya big sissy. I'll be careful, happy?"

"Not in the least."

"Know what ya need? Ta get laid. Maybe 'Lena'd be willing-"

"Know what I really need?" Rude snapped, having stopped the car in front of the large corporation.

"A blowjob?" Reno guessed, smirking.

"To not die!"

"Jeez! Must ya yell, I'm not even three feet away, yo. Plus, never known ya to be afraid of death before."

"Yeah, a _normal _death! Not a prolonged, sadistic death because you fuck up and got killed!"

"Woah, calm down! I ain't gonna die, yo. Sheesh, yer starting to make me nervous."

"Reno, just go up to the roof, Tseng's waiting."

"What about you?"

"I'll be there. ...I have to talk to Rufus first."

"Gonna spaz out at him, too?"

**CRCRCRCRCRCRCRCRCRCR**

Cloud frown as he walked down the sidewalks towards Shinra Inc., not wanting to drive there. He knew if he took Fenrir, there was a chance that Rufus would not be warned before he arrived. The blonde smirked evilly as he saw the tall building in the distance, having already stared to think of how the conversation with the other blonde will go.

All too quickly, he reached the front door, and spared it no mercy as it swung open, the handle slamming loudly into the wall it was attached to. Heads whipped in his direction looking worriedly at the furious, yet smirking, blonde. Noticing who he was, they began to work again, some secretly paging Rufus about the sudden commotion. The blonde knew what they were doing, but simply did not care. He decided to take his time, letting Rufus squirm in his chair, wanting to take the stairs until he reached he top floor.

He could hear the muffled sound of a helicopter taking off and knew that Reno would be on the one leaving. That thought made his blood boil and freeze at the same time, and as the muffled sound disappeared, a loneliness sank in, giving him more determination to reach the blonde in his office. Once he reached the top of the stairs, the blonde swordsman whipped open the door leading to the office, storming directly to the front desk, noticed how the other blonde appeared to be cool.

"Oh goody, it's Cloud," Rufus said, calmly, even though his eyes showed a slight bit of panic in them. Now he understood why Rude had burst into his office not even a few minutes ago, the calm Turk looking as if he was going to keel over any minute, speaking rapidly.

"We have a few things to..._discuss_, Rufus," Cloud hissed, standing directly in front of the other blonde.

"_Of course _we do..."

**CRCRCRCRCRCRCRCRCRCR**

"So, what's the plan Boss-Man?" Reno asked from the back of the helicopter as he put on a headset.

"Don't call me that, Reno," Tseng said as he flew the helicopter. "We're heading to a deserted sector."

"Where we'll all find out that we're going to die," Rude muttered, still looking a bit pale.

"What's with ya, yo? You've been kinda twitchy since we left my place, yo."

"You _have _been looking a bit pale, Rude," Elena commented.

"You don't understand!" the bald Turk nearly shouted. "We're all going to _die _if we go through with this! All of us!"

"We've face death before, yo. We'd this time be any different?" Reno asked, looking confusedly at his partner.

"True. Enlighten us, Rude. We'd all like to- Hold on, I'm getting a transmission from the President," Tseng said.

All of the other Turks in the helicopter watched as he listened to the blonde back at Shinra Inc. speak. Suddenly, he turned a sickly pale, glancing briefly at Reno.

"We're all going to die," he muttered.

"You see?!" Rude cried out.

"I don't get it," Elena said, looking at Reno for any clarification. The redhead shrugged.

"Beats me, yo."

**CRCRCRCRCRCRCRCRCRCR**

"Who was that, Rufus?" Cloud asked in a falsely calm tone, smiling fakely at the blonde behind the desk.

"Tseng."

"I don't believe you."

"It was, really!" Rufus said, still panicking as the blonde neared him a bit more, closing the chilly space between them. "Don't you believe me?"

"Not on your life."

"It's the truth!"

"Either way, I didn't come here to talk about Tseng...or my 'rampaging killing sprees'."

"Fuck..."

**CRCRCRCRCRCRCRCRCRCR**

"So, what's the plan, Dotty?" Reno asked as they all got out of the helicopter and stood on the outskirts of a worn-down, broken town.

"Don't call me that either," Tseng said as he looked at the redhead. "Elena, for this mission you will be in charge of our communications lines, we must be able to hear each other at all times. That, and you will be making sure that the helicopter can take off at any time in case we need to get out of here quickly. I will be working on disabling their communication line and destroying any and all technology that they have."

"And us?" Rude said, feeling nervous and still looking a touch paler than usual.

"Rude, you and Reno will be the...distraction."

"...We're going to die."

"Calm down, buddy, we've done worse," Reno said, grinning as he tightened the leather strap about his wrist.

"_But you haven't **dated **worse_," he muttered softly.

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

"Rude, you'll take care of the first three floors of the building," Tseng said, ending their side-conversation. "Reno, you'll take care of the top two floors."

"An' which buildin's the one were taking care of, yo?" Reno asked, waving at the desolated town. "'Cause they're all looking the same here."

"The one we want in in the center of the town."

"We're all going to die after this," Rude muttered mournfully.

"I still don't get why," Elena said, pouting slightly. Tseng walked near her and whispered something in her ear. Reno watched as her eyes widened before she looked incredulously at their leader. "Are you sure?!"

"The President even said so," Tseng said, as both he and Rude nodded sharply.

"What'd he say, yo?!" Reno asked, not liking that he was the only one out of the loop.

"We're going to die..." Elena said, looking at Reno blankly.

"But why?!"

"He doesn't know?!" she asked, looking at the other two, both shook their heads.

"Anyone wanna fill me in?!"

"No!" All three refused.

"...I hate you guys..."

**CRCRCRCRCRCRCRCRCRCR**

"I don't think you understand, Rufus," Cloud said, tightening his grip on the hilt of his buster sword.

"Yes, I do..._you insufferable prick_," Rufus said, muttering the last part.

"I don't think you do..." Instantly, the blonde behind the desk cursed himsef for forgetting just how sharp the ex-Soldier's hearing was.

"I understand, Cloud. But you can't just-" At the fierce glare and the way that the tip on the blade pressed against his throat, the leader paused. "Then again, maybe you can."

"_Do you undertand_?!"

"Yes, I understand." Rufus was ghostly pale now, trying to glare strongly at the other blonde, but failing at the cold dangerous look he received.

"Good, because if not-"

"I do! _Goddammit_!"

"No need to shouted, Rufus."

"You're an ass, Strife," he growled, making the other blonde smirk darkly at him.

"I'm not done yet, Rufus."

"..._Goody_..."

**CRCRCRCRCRCRCRCRCRCR**

Reno hissed as he ran down the narrow hallway on the top floor, hearing the sound of footsteps chasing after him. "Fuck! Elena! ELENA! Fuckin' pick up!" All he heard was static from his headset, and he cursed some more. "For the love of fuck!" He gasped as a sharp pain shot through his right shoulder; a bullet lodging in his shoulder blade as he turned a sharp corner. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" He stumbled over a large piece of fallen ceiling and nearly fell flat on his face.

"Why...is...this...so...fuckin'...difficult?!" the redhead panted in a frustrated tone as he jumped over more debris. He grunted as the next turn led him to a dead end. "Nice. ...Fuckin' nice!"

"Well, what do we have here?" an amused voice called out from bhind, sending a chill down the Turk's spine.

"_Fuckin' niiiiiice_," he hissed, turning around. Looking briefly at them, the redhead noticed a small window to his side. Discreetly, he looked down it, noticing that there was a small section of roof that jutted out a few floors down.

"What's such a pretty thing like you doing here?" another voice called out. Part of Reno wanted to look, the other decided not to.

"Leavin'."

"So soon? I don't think so."

"Good thing ya don't seem ta be doin' much of it, yo."

"Why you little-"

"Hey, we gotta keep him in once piece fer the boss," a new voice said, sounding slightly high-pitched but still masculine.

"Well, this's been fun," Reno said, his head facing them but his eyes one the window. "But I've really gotta-"

He was cut short as thick arms wrapped around his waist, pinning his arms to his sides.

"You aren't going anywhere, Red," a deep voice said, rancid breath blowing into his ear.

"Fuck..."

**End of Chapter Sixteen  
**

Review for the next chapter. Long, no?

**CupCake-SweetTreats**: -_Laughs_-.

**carefreecat**: -_Bites lip and twitches_-Candy-flavored cookies... -_Grins_-Oh yeah, I have pans fer that one. ...'Evil' plans!

**AstroStarr42**: -_Laughs_-Here's the best part though, I can! It's fun ta do, too!

**tala-fangirl**: -_Laughs_-.

**VampireChildofDarkness**: Such a funny thing: hope. -_Grins_-It's usually wrong.

**D3OPH3ST**: -_Laughs_-. Same here! -_Grins_-See? Never would'ave guessed that. Pedophile? As in: touchin' little kids: pedophile?

**yumie-darkness123**: -_Snickers_-Rude'll prob'ly cry! -_Grabs fork_-Mmm, choco-goodness!

**NicotineGum**: -_Laughs hysterically_-.

**EvilRaccoon**: -_Grins_-He's traumatized!

**Bekas Strife**: -_Laughs hysterically_-True!

**Mahoko**: -_Laughs_-Kinda! I'm actually surprised that it's lasted that long! But I've caught Renoitis, so I'm lacking the Valenwind. Soon, once I get time, I can undate it, maybe next weekend? I dunno. -I-Been thinking of a plot fer that actually! (Not my strong spot!) Though, I'll prob'ly wrote somethin' with them, again, one I get more time. ...I need ta start sleepin' less...n' getting less work...damn life.


	17. Chapter 17

Title: Blondes

Disclaimer: If I owned this would I be here? C'mon people, think!

Setting: Pick one. I'm too lazy/wired to decide.

Summary: Are blondes really that dumb? How long can you answer a blonde's question with another question? Do blondes really have more fun? How quickly do they react when put in a strange situation? How quickly can you annoy a blonde to the point that they scream? What is foreplay for a blonde? How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? How do you confuse a blonde? How do you keep a blonde in suspense? Reno plans on finding out...with Cloud.

Warnings: Um…hmm. Think I've used them all before-grins-. Basically, anything I can think up. I'll just see there my mind takes this…could be anywhere-grins-. If you've read any of my other stories…you know what you're in for. If not, you'll see!

Side Notes:  
1) This story will have romance at the end…or very close to it.  
2) If you have any suggestions, feel free to send them in a review.  
3) Same goes for any ideas for future chapters...ideas, suggestions; they're different in my little world.  
4) Will end in smut…as some of you who have read my fics already know!!  
5) Each chapter will be a different question.  
6) My spelling sucks...Wordpad...again...  
7) Flames will not be tolerated-glares evilly-. This is your only warning.

**Chapter Seventeen: Rescue  
**

"Cloud, as fun as this had been..." Rufus started to say, only to have his secretary burst into the room.

"Sir, you have a call from Tseng on line two!" she said meekly before quickly leaving the room.

"I should take this," the blonde ruler said, thankful for the brief distraction from the intense fighter that was glaring openly at him. "Yes?" He answered picking up his phone. "What?!" Instantly, Cloud was alerted and alarmed, knowing that the other blonde was not easily shaken. "You better find him, quickly!" he hissed before hanging up.

"What's going on?" Cloud asked, glaring darkly as he watched Rufus sweat.

"It's nothing."

"Oh really?"

Suddenly Cloud's phone began to ring, making Rufus sigh in relief from another brief distraction.

"You might want to get that," the Shinra ruler said, smiling meekly in fear. Looking down at the number, Cloud smirked.

"I think I should." Answering his phone he listened to Rude panic as he explained the situation. Seeing how the swordsman's face switched from a dark, twisted look to becoming downright murderous, Rufus began to hear his heart beat in his ears.

**CRCRCRCRCRCRCRCRCRCR**

"Well, well, well," a heated voice called out from behind Reno, lifting him off of his feet with his strong grip. "Who do we have here? Some sort of sixteen year-old wandering alone?"

"Sixteen?!" Reno snapped, twisting in the tight hold. "I ain't sixteen ya huge fucker!"

"And quite a mouth on you."

"I'll show ya 'quite a mouth' ya mother fuckin'-"

Reno was cut off as a thick cloth was tied around his mouth, effectively gagging him.

"As much as we enjoy the sound of your voice, Red, we've got bigger fish to fry. You, go deal with the Turks downstairs." Hearing this, Reno began to struggle even more.

"Looks like he wants some more affection, eh, Tiny?" someone said in front of the redhead.

"Let's go take him to the Boss first, then we can have our fun." Hearing this, Reno panicked and began to struggle even more. "No worries, Red, we'll be gentle for you."

**CRCRCRCRCRCRCRCRCRCR**

Cloud snarled as he hung up his phone, glaring dangerously at the blonde in front of him.

"And when we you planning on telling me that Reno has disappeared?!" he bit out, watching at Rufus turned a chalky white.

"How did you-"

"You'll be happy to know that Rude values his life, especially after our talk earlier."

"Now, Cloud, there's no need to-"

"Where did you send them?"

"You aren't thinking of-"

"_Where _did you send them?!"

"That's highly classified infor-" Rufus paused as the Buster sword was returned to his throat, digging a bit into the skin. "If you kill me, you'll never find him."

"You'd think that. I'm sure that a few secretaries would be more than happy to get me that information."

"Even if you knew, you'd never reach Reno in time."

"Are you trying to stop me?" Cloud hissed, pushing his sword forward a bit more, forcing blood to trickle gently from the cut he was creating.

"Yeah, Cloud," Rufus muttered sarcastically. "'Cause I really want a PMS-ing blonde to hack my head off in my office. I _live _for this moment."

"One last time, Rufus. Where did you send Reno?"

Rufus sighed, "Ease up with the over-sized meat cleaver and I'll tell you."

**CRCRCRCRCRCRCRCRCRCR**

Reno struggled even more once a blindfold was tied around his eyes, leaving him completely defenseless as he was still kept in the tight grip of Tiny, who, Reno noted dryly, was not all that tiny. "So, this is the intruder?" a clipped voice said, one that the redheaded Turk was sure he heard before.

"The one that isn't with the Turks downstairs," a new voice said, his words were a slight hiss as he spoke.

"Idiots! He's one of the Turks!"

Hearing this, Reno grinned around his gag and nodded his head eagerly.

"B-but he's not dressed-"

"He's in civilian's clothes, you moron! But...he's not _just _from the Turks, though..."

"He ain't?" another voice replied.

"No, he's the one always hanging around Strife. ...We've got to get rid of him, _quickly_."

"You don't think Strife would come all the way here for Red, do you?"

"Who knows? That freak of nature would do anything for the right person. Now, You three, go take care of the remaining Turks, the others will deal with Reno, here." Reno cringed as he distinctly remembered not telling them his name. "Wait a minute! Why does he still have an ear-piece?!"

"It's not like it'll work up here, Boss," one of the older voices replied.

"I don't care, get rid of it. Then get rid of him."

"Yes sir!"

**CRCRCRCRCRCRCRCRCRCR**

As Rufus slowly typed on his computer, he could feel the blonde's gaze on his keyboard, watching as every key was pressed in as if he was trying to memorize the order.

"Sir, line two again; it's Tseng with an update," the secretary said briefly before leaving.

"Yes? You did? ...Good work, Tseng. Head back here as quickly as you can," Rufus said before he hung up and looked into the blonde swordsman's eyes. "You'll be happy to know that Reno has been found."

Hearing this, Cloud instantly relaxed, collapsing into a chair in front of the desk.

"That's a relief," the hero said, smiling a little.

"You know, we have medicine that could help you."

"Help me? Help me with what?"

"Your mood swings," Rufus said, smirking. "Usually it's for pregnant women, but I think you can see it's use here." Cloud glared at him, making Rufus laugh as he held up the bottle of pills. "I'll even give them to you for free!"

**CRCRCRCRCRCRCRCRCRCR**

Reno grunted as something coarse tied his arms behind his back once the grip was gone. The next thing he knew he was swung over someone's shoulder and being carried away. In response, the Turk kicked out as much as he could, wriggling and muffling shouts as he was being removed.

"Easy Red, we ain't gonna drop you off the roof." The way it was said, though, let the redhead think otherwise.

"I suggest you put him down," a voice said. Never was Reno so glad to hear Tseng speak in his life.

"Yeah!" Elena said. "We Turks stick together! ...Anything to add, Rude?"

"...Ditto."

Reno could not help but snicker behind his gag, knowing that only Rude could have pulled that off.

"I don't think so," someone said from behind him. "We caught him fair and square!"

"Too bad," Tseng said. "Life's not fair. Now, hand him over."

"You're going to have to make us."

Reno heard his boss sigh.

"And here I was hoping that I _wouldn't_ have to get blood cleaned out of my clothes... I should have known better than to hope that with Reno around, by now." The bound Turk gave a muffled shout as he thrashed some more. "Calm down, Reno. We'll get you back to Cloud soon enough. ...And you're paying for my dry cleaning."

**End of Chapter Seventeen  
**

Review for the next chapter. Hey, guess what? I'm in a wonderful state of angry depression; fun, no? So, I might update tomorrow, if not, I'll just be comin' up with more creative ways to kill myself.

**D3EOPH3ST**: -_Laughs_-Yeah, if the wildfire's being put out by two states' worth of firefighters! -_Grins meekly_-Honestly, I would'ave guessed that Google'd be m best friend if I wasn't so damn lazy. But I am, so it'd haunt me 'til I forgot (blonde, so it wouldn't be long!).

**tala-fangirl**: -_Grins_-That he can.

**yumie-darkness123**: -_Laughs_-So do I! -_Twitches_-I'll just be...takin' these...

**CupCake-SweetTreats**: -_Laughs_-!

**Bekas Strife**: -_Laughs hysterically_-.

**AstroStarr42**: -_Laughs hysterically_-Who knows?

**Lemon Wine**: -_Grins_-Yup!

**carefreecat**: -_Laughs_-. Thanks!

**JeanneAndHerAlters**: -_Laughs_-S'all right, sweetie. Mmm, sugar...

**WitchHunterYohko**: Ya know what, never even thought of that... I honestly dunno.

**Vaishin**: -_Laughs hysterically_-. Yay cookies! -_Snickers_-They prob'ly already have. Run, Reno, run fer ya'r life!

**Deinde**: -_Laughs_-Ouch. Wow, have ya even read this; NONE of 'em are in character. The thing is, I don't try ta keep 'em in character, way too much work.

**VampireChildofDarkness**: -_Laughs_-Army helmet, anyone?

**NicotineGum**: -_Laughs_-It'll be explained a little bit; Cloud's not so worked up 'bout the job, just the not gettin' laid, I'd like ta think. 'Cause, fuck, he was so close! -_Snickers_-That's funny, 'cause I can imagine it, then again, I'm insane, so... Oh well!


	18. Chapter 18

Title: Blondes

Disclaimer: If I owned this would I be here? C'mon people, think!

Setting: Pick one. I'm too lazy/wired to decide.

Summary: Are blondes really that dumb? How long can you answer a blonde's question with another question? Do blondes really have more fun? How quickly do they react when put in a strange situation? How quickly can you annoy a blonde to the point that they scream? What is foreplay for a blonde? How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? How do you confuse a blonde? How do you keep a blonde in suspense? Reno plans on finding out...with Cloud.

Warnings: Um…hmm. Think I've used them all before-grins-. Basically, anything I can think up. I'll just see there my mind takes this…could be anywhere-grins-. If you've read any of my other stories…you know what you're in for. If not, you'll see!

Side Notes:  
1) This story will have romance at the end…or very close to it.  
2) If you have any suggestions, feel free to send them in a review.  
3) Same goes for any ideas for future chapters...ideas, suggestions; they're different in my little world.  
4) Will end in smut…as some of you who have read my fics already know!!  
5) Each chapter will be a different question.  
6) My spelling sucks...Wordpad...again...  
7) Flames will not be tolerated-glares evilly-. This is your only warning.

**Chapter Eighteen: Reunion  
**

Cloud glared as he blushed a vibrant red. "I don't have mood swings!" he protested, making Rufus grin.

"Oh really? Something goes even slightly wrong with Reno and you burst in here, ready to kill everyone," Rufus said, his grin growing as the other blonde turned a brighter shade.

"I-I've just been worried; Reno's kind of...delicate..."

"Reno? Delicate?! Have you _seen _the man?!"

"Of course I have!"

"Just because he's _your _'delicate, little flower'-" Rufus paused to snicker after he said this. "Doesn't mean he's made of glass. This _is _the same Turk who downs more alcohol than the entire building can out away in a month."

"I highly doubt that!"

"...You've never seen him drink, have you?"

"I have, too!"

"Then you should know!"

"He doesn't even drink that much; I should know, I went drinking with him!"

"And you sobered up within the same year?"

**CRCRCRCRCRCRCRCRCRCR**

Reno struggled even more, feeling the arms holding him up shift to keep a tight grip on him, in a protest of Tseng's statement. Loud, muffled sounds came from him as he squirmed, unknowingly making his boss smirk.

"Don't worry, Reno, I can take it out of your paycheck if you like," he said, making the redhead silently protest even more.

"Shouldn't we help him now, Tseng?" Elena asked, making the redhead Turk nod vigorously.

Tseng sighed. "Most likely, after all, the President is 'entertaining' a _special guest _until we arrive with our favorite captive." Reno heard the sound of a gun being cocked, and began to pray that his boss would not hit him.

"You can't shoot me!" Tiny said, his tone implying that he was grinning. "You'll hit Red, here."

"You wish I'd-" the Wutian man was cut of when reno was suddenly held up in front of the man, creating a human shield. "Oh, this will be _fun_."

Reno began to struggle again, knowing that his boss was going to get some sort of sick pleasure out of this.

**CRCRCRCRCRCRCRCRCRCR**

"So," Rufus said, waving the pills in front of the blonde's face. "Are you going to take the pills?"

"No!" Cloud said, sulking.

"Why not? You never know, maybe you're more like a pregnant woman than you think."

"I am not!"

"Then why have you been so damn pissy lately?"

"I am _not _pissy!"

"See? Right there; pissy!"

"I am _not_!"

"Would you prefer bitchy?"

"No!"

"...I don't get it, is Reno _that _good of a lay?"

"What?! H-how could you just-"

"You _have _nailed him already, right?" Rufus asked, grinning mischievously.

"W-well..."

"I get it, now!"

"Get what?"

**CRCRCRCRCRCRCRCRCRCR**

Reno grunted as he hit the floor, making sure to roll to the side, where he hoped he would not get into even more trouble. The bound redhead moaned softly when he ended up putting pressure on his wounded shoulder. He could still hear the shouts from Tiny after Tseng's shot was fired. He knew that he would not be hit, otherwise the boss of the Turks would be buried under forms, upon forms, of paperwork.

Feeling small hands on his shoulder, the wounded one, Reno jerked away, his face whipping around as he tried to face his new assailant.

"It's all right, Reno, it's just me; Elena," he heard as more fighting went on around them. "Hold on and I'll untie you, then we can heal you so you're good as new!"

"Keep him tied up!" Tseng shouted, getting there attention.

"But why?"

"That way he can't struggle as much and we don't have to here him shout when you _heal _him." Rude snickered. "Not in _that _way!"

"Oh, I get it! ...Just hold on Reno, it'll be quick."

Hearing this, Reno tensed, beginning to prepare himself for the removal of the bullet in his shoulder blade.

"Okay, take a deep breath and before you know it we'll be back at Headquarters!"

Somehow, he knew that it was not going to be that simple.

**CRCRCRCRCRCRCRCRCRCR**

Cloud blushed furiously, shouting, "That's not true!"

"You explain it, then. ... ... ...See?"

"That's not it, though! ...I-it can't be..."

"And yet, it is. You really need to get laid, Strife, or take the pills. Either way, you'll stop running in here like a violent chocobo with it's head cut off!"

"...I'm not taking those pills!"

"Even if I took off the label?"

"They're vibrant pink!"

"...They'd suit you, then."

"I'm not- Do you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"It's far away...helicopters! They're back!"

"You're like a dog who's about to hump a leg... Or possibly a fat kid in a candy shop..."

**CRCRCRCRCRCRCRCRCRCR**

Reno groaned as they flew towards Shinra Inc. "That's it, as soon as we land, I'm goin' home, yo."

"So soon?" Tseng asked, smirking.

"Yeah," the redhead sneered. "An' I ain't gonna say it again: I ain't payin' fer yer dry-cleanin', Dotty!"

"But you just got here," Elena said, smiling slightly.

"Well, I've got more important things ta do, 'Lena."

"Cloud," his boss said, fake-coughing before he snickered.

"What was that?"

"What? I coughed..."

"Yer actin' kinda suspicious, yo."

The Wutian man shook his head as he landed on the top of the building. Once the whipping wind died down a bit, the four Turks climbed out of the helicopter and onto the roof.

"Well, this's been-oof!" Reno was cut off as he saw a bright yellow in his sight, arms pressing him closer, and warm lips over his own. Realizing that it was Cloud, and he was almost sure that the other's were just watching, the redhead shrugged before eagerly kissing him back, his eyes closing as his arms frantically grabbed onto the blonde's back.

During their kiss, somehow, Reno could not remember how exactly, the pair found themselves lying on the rooftop, Cloud lying on top of Reno. As the swordsman's hands dipped into the Turk's pants, the redhead moaned.

"I missed you," Cloud panted in between kisses.

"Me too, yo."

"Get a room!" Rufus called out, effectively getting them to stop.

"Your place?" Cloud asked, breathlessly.

Reno grinned lustfully, making Cloud's heart flutter weakly. "What're we waitin' fer, Cloudy-Cakes?"

**End of Chapter Eighteen  
**

Review for the next chapter. Would'ave been up sooner, but I've got computer problems right now.

Thanks fer reviewing:

**WitchHunterYohko**: Yup.

**tala-fangirl**: Thanks.

**Bekas Strife**: -_Snickers_-can't ya? It's so think ya can almost cut it!

**carefreecat**: Here ya go.

**JeanneAndHerAlters**: -_Laughs_-No biggie.

**D3OPH3ST**: -_Grins_-Yup!

**gaaraismylife**: Thanks.

**VampireChildofDarkness**: -_Grins pervly_-Think we all do! Thi reminds me of a weird sayin' that I kinda remember..."Sticks an' stones may break me bones, but whips and chains excite me, so chain me up..." -_Laughs_-I forget the rest!

**AstroStarr42**: -_Laughs_-.

**yumie-darkness123**: I didn't say that I would...just that I think 'but it... Ooohhh! Chocobo an' puddin'!

**Mahoko**: -_Laughs_-He's too pretty to die! ...Least without Cloud poundin' him into submission first! -_Snickers_-Ya shouldn't envy the insane, sweetie! -_Laughs_-He's too pretty fer that, too!

**CupCake-SweetTreats**: Yay, more plushies fer my entertainment!

**Kaisha Shiori**: S'okay! -_Laughs_-Maybe I'm just creepy that way?

**NicotineGum**: -_Laughs_-Yeah, tried that once, didn't work out that well (killed 'em all in creative, twisted ways!). Thanks, though.

**Vaishin**: Thanks! -_Laughs_-Good luck with that bell!


	19. Chapter 19

Title: Blondes

Disclaimer: If I owned this would I be here? C'mon people, think!

Setting: Pick one. I'm too lazy/wired to decide.

Summary: Are blondes really that dumb? How long can you answer a blonde's question with another question? Do blondes really have more fun? How quickly do they react when put in a strange situation? How quickly can you annoy a blonde to the point that they scream? What is foreplay for a blonde? How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? How do you confuse a blonde? How do you keep a blonde in suspense? Reno plans on finding out...with Cloud.

Warnings: Um…hmm. Think I've used them all before-grins-. Basically, anything I can think up. I'll just see there my mind takes this…could be anywhere-grins-. If you've read any of my other stories…you know what you're in for. If not, you'll see!

Side Notes:  
1) This story will have romance at the end…or very close to it.  
2) If you have any suggestions, feel free to send them in a review.  
3) Same goes for any ideas for future chapters...ideas, suggestions; they're different in my little world.  
4) Will end in smut…as some of you who have read my fics already know!!  
5) Each chapter will be a different question.  
6) My spelling sucks...Wordpad...again...  
7) Flames will not be tolerated-glares evilly-. This is your only warning.

**Chapter Nineteen: So Close, Yet So Far Away  
**

Cloud smiled heatedly at the redhead before quickly getting up, scooping the Turk into his arms before sprinting to the elevators, wanting to get to his apartment as soon as possible.

"Horn-dogs," Tseng muttered, smirking evilly.

"I think it's cute!" Elena cooed at the couple that were waiting for the elevator to arrive.

"Get back to work," Rufus muttered, shaking his head. "I pay you to work, not to gawk at Reno's love life."

As they were having this conversation, Cloud was growling at the slow moving contraption that would take him far away from the rest of the Turk and into the redhead's bed.

"Come on!" the blonde swordsman hissed, tapping his foot impatiently as he was forced to wait. A soft chuckle came from Reno, getting the blonde's attention. "What?"

"Eager much?" he asked, grinning as he snuggled close to the muscled chest.

"Like you aren't?"

"Hmm...got me there, yo. Look, it's here!"

Cloud practically jumped into the small area, harshly pressing the button that would take them to the ground floor. To keep himself occupied with the long trip, the blonde kissed the Turk passionately, giving him a taste of what he would be receiving once they were behind locked doors. Reno moaned into his mouth, tangling his fingers into soft, golden hair as they traveled down the building. Once the reached the bottom, the blonde hurried out of the building, choosing to run to the redhead's apartment as fast as he could. To do this, he had to stop making out with the Turk and focus on where he was going, lest he run into a light post while busy.

The trip did not take long considering how eager the swordsman was to getting the Turk all alone. Instead of letting Reno down to open the door, the blonde just fished through his pockets, searching for the keys to his apartment. Once Cloud had the door open and they were both on the other side, he kicked the door closed, hearing the lock click into place. It was now that he set Reno onto his feet, not giving the Turk any time before ramming his tongue into his mouth, tasting the hot, wet cavern as he did so.

Reno moaned as he wrapped his arms around the blonde's neck, pressing his body up against the chiseled features that made up Cloud. The blonde eagerly responded, pulling their hips together by using the redhead's belt loops to his advantage. With their bodies pressed together, the swordsman could feel the room grow hotter, their clothes tightening around their bodies as fingers pulled at the fabric in an attempt to rid themselves of the hindrance.

As they kissed, Cloud pressed his body insistently against the redhead's, leading him into the bedroom. Half of the way there, Reno managed to trip over an item on his floor and ended up sending him and the blonde hero tumbling to the floor. When Reno's head cracked against the hard floor, he could have sworn that he heard Barret speaking.

"Wow, yo," he muttered, slightly stunned while he heard the muffled talking of the large gunman once more.

"Are you all right?" Cloud asked, briefly checking over the Turk who was lying underneath him.

"Think I might'ave hit my head a bit too hard, yo." Seein' Cloud's worried glance, he added. "I think I hear Barret."

"Barret?"

"Yup, think I'm delusional, Cloud."

Hearing this, the blonde smiled greatly.

"What? Why're ya smiling?"

"You called me Cloud."

"...I did?"

"Yeah..."

Cloud then took this opportunity to ravish the redheaded Turks mouth, pleased to hear the muffled moan that spilled from his throat. Hands pulled at their clothes one more, effectively getting rid of the blonde shirt before roaming over the sweating chest. Though, when Cloud began to pull up Reno's shirt, the Turk stopped him.

"Did ya hear that?" he pante, looking suspiciously at his front door.

"Hear what?"Cloud asked, now looking at Reno with concern, wondering if he had hit his head a bit too hard.

"Shhh. Listen...I swear someone's out there..."

Cloud paused, waiting for something to happen. When nothing did, he opened his mouth to speak, but that was when he heard it. Soft voices were arguing on the other side of the Turk's door.

"You're right," Cloud said, making Reno grin.

"Had you any doubt?"

"Actually, yes."

"Hey!"

Reno responded by smacking Cloud playfully on the chest.

"I ain't dumb, yo!"

"I know," Cloud purred before snatching another kiss from the Turk. "Now, should we go see who's-"

"Fuck no! We ain't gettin' that door! Did ya _already _forget what happened last time?!"

"No..."

"Good! So, let's get off of the floor and into bed."

"What if I want to stay here?" Cloud asked, playfully rolling his hips forward and almost completely robbing Reno of his voice.

"W-we ain't fuckin' on the floor...least not today."

"Mmm, and what can you do about it?"

Reno smirked evilly as he looked at Cloud, ignoring how the voices in the background seemed to grow louder as they argued with one another.

"This!" he shouted before quickly moving to tickle Cloud in his ribs. Being unprepared for this, the blonde shrieked before trying to get out of the way. Instead of accomplishing this, though, he ended up underneath Reno, who was sitting on his groin as he tickled him mercilessly.

They were brought out of their fun when something large collided roughly with the front door to the apartment.

"The fuck?!" Reno shouted before turning his head around to face the door. We watched as the wood splinted when the object collided with the other side of his door again. "THE FUCK ARE YOU _DOIN_'?!" he shouted, quickly scrambling off of Cloud, and helping the blonde to his feet. "YOU BEST NOT BREAK DOWN THAT DOOR YA ASSHOLES!!"

Reno lunged towards the door when the wood splintered some more, only held back by the strong grip of Cloud.

"Reno, quickly, get your EMR!" he said, pulling out his buster sword. The redhead nodded before running into his room, frantically searching for his weapon. Once he found it, he ran back into the living room, just in time to see his door get broken down.

"Ohh!" he shrieked in a rage, his voice coming out in a comically higher pitch.

"Cloud!"

Reno's right eye began to twitch as he realized that it was the rest of Avalanche that had broken into his apartment.

"Barret? What are you guys doing here?" Cloud asked, blushing slightly once he realized that he was not wearing his shirt in front of the others.

"...Savin' you, what's it look like, Spikey?" Cid said, taking a deep drag from his cigarette. "Think Vince was right, Barret, kid don't look like he needs savin'."

"I told you he didn't, too!" Tifa said, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Yeah, yeah, sure ya did."

"I did!"

"So, Cloud," Yuffie, drawled out, grinning as she leered at the pair. "What's new?"

"I believe it would be best if we leave," Vincent said, nodding to Cloud and Reno.

"We just got here, Vince. Come on, let's have some fun, 'kay?"

"Fun? Chief, we just-"

"Lighten up, Vince. Let's go to a bar."

"...You make no sense, Captain."

"Well, are ya comin' 'r what?"

"You two can't go!" Barret said, stopping them from leaving.

"Oh?!" Reno snapped, his eye twitching furiously as he glared darkly at the group. His hands were clenching and un-clenching in a slightly psychotic manner. "I think they've got a great idea!!"

"Five seconds 'til Mount Red erupts," Yuffie muttered.

"Bet ya a hundred gil he'll blow in three!" Cid bet, grinning.

"Deal!"

"Umm...guys?" Tifa said, getting their attention before she pointed to Reno. Looking at the Turk, the group either grinned maniacally, prepared for the worst, or a combination of both.

**End of Chapter Nineteen  
**

Review for the next chapter. This idea came to me...'bout two minutes 'fore I started the chapter... -_Laughs_-Yall 're prob'ly gonna kill me, now! But, c'mon, did ya'll actually think I'd let Cloud have his way? Ya should know me better by now! Plus, I was beginnin' ta miss the others...i.e. Vince an' Cid(none of the rest of 'em, though)! ...I expect very pissed of reviews now...-_laughs_-. I'll prob'ly update on Friday, so keep yer eyes peeled...that's an odd sayin'...

Thanks fer reviewing:

**Vaishin**: -_Laughs_-That's funny 'cause I don't even try; this's just fer fun fer me.

**CupCake-SweetTreats**: Nah, I update strangely, usually just whenever I get an idea in school; I get bored!

**yumie-darkness123**: -_Laughs_-Nope, didn't know that. Luckily it doesn't fer me!

**D3OPH3ST**: -_Snickers_-Ya foresee wrong! Least fer right now ya do!

**Bekas Strife**: -_Laughs_-They're gonna have ta try really hard, but they'll get nowhere in the baby category... But yay ta fuckin'! (-_Laughs_-Says the virgin...)

**Maumse**: Trust me, ya ain't. yup! Almost forgot...is this **Mahoko**? If not, never heard of ya (that I remember), so welcome!

**VampireChildofDarkness**: -_Laughs_-Ain't it?! Should'ave, but didn't. -_Laughs evilly_-Ya have no idea!

**Toons**: -_Grins_-Kinda, granted I never thought of it that way; it's more of the random workin's of my mind. -_Laughs_-Honestly, not a clue what ya're talkin' 'bout!

**EvilRaccoon**: Ya'd be surprised, if not pissed!

**tala-fangirl**: Really, 'cause I can!

**Kaisha Shiori**: -_Laughs_-Never thought of that! Maybe next time. Well, th way I saw it, Reno's blindfolded, an' it was his part, so he couldn't really know what's goin' on...that, an' I was too lazy. So, who knows, maybe next time.

**carefreecat**: -_Laughs_-True! Thanks!


	20. Chapter 20

Title: Blondes

Disclaimer: If I owned this would I be here? C'mon people, think!

Setting: Pick one. I'm too lazy/wired to decide.

Summary: Are blondes really that dumb? How long can you answer a blonde's question with another question? Do blondes really have more fun? How quickly do they react when put in a strange situation? How quickly can you annoy a blonde to the point that they scream? What is foreplay for a blonde? How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? How do you confuse a blonde? How do you keep a blonde in suspense? Reno plans on finding out...with Cloud.

Warnings: Um…hmm. Think I've used them all before-_grins_-. Basically, anything I can think up. I'll just see there my mind takes this…could be anywhere-grins-. If you've read any of my other stories…you know what you're in for. If not, you'll see!

Side Notes:  
1) This story will have romance at the end…or very close to it.  
2) If you have any suggestions, feel free to send them in a review.  
3) Same goes for any ideas for future chapters...ideas, suggestions; they're different in my little world.  
4) Will end in smut…as some of you who have read my fics already know!!  
5) Each chapter will be a different question.  
6) My spelling sucks...Wordpad...again...  
7) Flames will not be tolerated-glares evilly-. This is your only warning.

**Chapter Twenty: Stuff  
**

Reno lunged at the group, prepared to swing his EMR at them, hopefully giving them a good shock for a bit of revenge. Luckily for the group, Cloud tightly wrapped his arms around the Turk's waist, pulling him against his chest while the redhead struggled to attack them.

"Ya Avalanche-assholes!" Reno snarled, struggling to get out of the blonde tight grip. "Lemme go, Cloudy!"

"'Cloudy'?" Cid asked, snickering as he took another drag of his cigarette. "Looks like someone's been dippin' into _that _cookie jar!" Cloud blushed furiously while Reno just struggled even more.

"Ya fuckheads are gonna fix that damn door!" he growled, still trying to break free, using more force than earlier. Cloud was forced to dig his heels deeper into the floor as he restrained the thin man. For such a small Turk, he sure had a lot of strength.

"Oh yeah?" Cid smirked, exhaling smoke in the redhead's direction. "An' who's gonna make us?"

"Cid..." Cloud said, as he had to use more of his own strength to hold back the enraged Turk.

"We'll fix it, Reno, don't worry," Tifa said, smiling gently at the redhead, who seemed to calm down a bit.

"Yeah, yeah. Now untangle them panties, Princess," Cid commented. Instantly, Reno was in an uproar again.

"Cid!" Most of the group snapped, the rest was busy laughing, and Reno was slowly dragging Cloud and himself in the blonde's direction.

"It might be best if you guys leave..." Cloud said, "I can't hold him back forever, you know."

"That would be best," Vincent said, nodding.

"Aww, but Vinny-" Yuffie began to whine.

"Shuddup an' let's get outta here," Barret grumbled, having already given up on his reason for breaking down the door.

"Hey, Vince," Cid drawled, grinning widely. "Let's go hit the nearest bar."

"Oh no you don't!" Yuffie said, standing directly in front of Cid, and between the pilot and Vincent. "Every time you and Vinny go out to a bar, you come back completely sloshed! No one wants to manhandle you into your own bed, Oldie!"

"Like you could even manhandle a small bird, Brat?" Cid sneered, making the small Wutian girl fumed.

"We should all leave, _now_," Vincent said, staring blankly at the strange group still standing in Reno's doorway.

"Anything ya want, Vince," Cid said, grinning as he happily followed the gunner down the hallway. Eventually the rest of Avalanche left, with Tifa promising that the door would be fixed as they left. Once the door was propped back into the frame, Cloud placed his chin against the still seething redhead's shoulder, resting his head.

"Are you all right?" Cloud asked him softly while he felt the tense Turk slowly relax.

"I hate yer fuckin' friends, yo," Reno said as he began to relax. He felt Clouds hands slowly work their way up his body, rubbing as they traveled upwards.

"I know," Cloud said, turning his head to lightly kiss the Turk's cheek. "Should we continue where we left off?"

"Cloudy-Cakes, I don't have a front door, so no, we ain't finishin' up on the floor." The blonde pouted over his lost chance. "But the door to my bedroom locks, so we can finish up in there if ya still want to."

Cloud pressed his body firmly against Reno's at the suggestion. "I would love to finish up on your bed, but aren't you worried that someone might steal something from your apartment?"

"What are they gonna steal, yo?" Reno asked, chuckling. "A lumpy sofa?"

"You have more than just that..." the blonde said, pouting slightly.

"Yeah, an' all of it can be replaced by goin' to a yard sale."

"Can not!"

"Sheesh, Cloudy-Pie, you're getting awfully defensive over my shit, got somethin' on your mind?"

"...No."

"I think someone has something that they wanna share, yo," Reno teased, turning around in Cloud's hold to face the blonde. "So, what's runnin' through your pretty, little head?"

"Nothing, honestly!"

"C'mon, yo," Reno said, wrapping his arms around the blonde's neck as he leaned in even closer. "I _really _wanna know..."

"It's just..."

"Yeeessss...?"

"Well, you have some nice things, and it would be a shame for you to have them stolen."

"...Are we even in the same apartment? 'Cause my shit's...well, shit!"

"It isn't though."

"You're really protective of this shit, ain't ya?"

"...No."

"C'mon, yo. Even _I _can tell that's a lie!"

"Fine, so what if I like your apartment?"

"Nothin' of it... 'S kinda weird, though."

"Well, we could always get more things for your apartment."

"We?" Hearing this, Cloud nodded eagerly. "Wait...ya mean like...shopping?"

"Good! So when should we leave?"

"Woah! Wait a damn minute! ...Lemme get this straight; see if I've got all 'a the facts... You...wanna go shoppin'...with me...fer shit fer my apartment...'s that right?"

"Yeah, that about covers it."

"So ya can just go from bein' horny to havin' a strange need ta shop in, what, ten seconds?"

"Well, can we go?"

"I get the feelin' I'm gonna regret this...but sure, why not."

At the sudden hapy sound that came from Cliud, Reno was startled and jumped back, unable to get very far because of the hold on him.

"Fuck! Warn a guy next time, Cloudy!"

"We can also buy _something else _while we go shopping," Cloud practically purred, leaning in closely to the Turk, who instantly was on alert.

"...Like what?" Reno asked, noticing how the blonde took on a pleased look.

"You'll see..."

"This's gonna be bad, ain't it?"

"Hmm, depends."

"Depends?! Depends on what? Whether or not we'll get arrested?" Reno asked, watching as Cloud placed another kiss on his face, this time on his opposite cheek. "I'd like an answer, yo."

"I know," Cloud murmured, smiling sweetly at the redhead. "So, should we take my bike?"

"Ya never answered my question..."

"I know, but think of it this way: you'll be surprised."

"Yeah, but you're the _leader _of those damn fuckers that broke down my door; I ain't sure that I'll like your kind 'a _surprises_."

Cloud grinned as he led Reno out of the apartment by his hand, carefully leading them out of the doorway.

"You'll like it, I promise."

"Can I at lease have a hint?"

"Sure."

"... ...Will you tell me what it is?"

"I'm thinking... I don't want to give it away, after all."

"... ... ...Got anythin'?"

"Yeah; it'll be soft, silky, and all yours."

"... ...You ain't gettin me a nightie, are ya? 'Cause that'd be creepy!"

"No."

"Thank God. Hmm...what is it? Sheets?"

"No, now stop guessing."

"But I gotta know!"

"You'll see it when we get back home...Then we'll be able to _use _it."

"Is it lube? ...Wait...no, that can't be it...can it?"

"Reno," Cloud said, snickering.

"Yeah?"

"Shut up."

"But I'm curious!"

"Curiosity killed the cat."

"I ain't a cat, so no need ta worry!"

"Reno, just be quite and get on Fenrir," Cloud said, grinning as he tried not to laugh.

"Ya know, it's kinda creepy that ya named your bike."

"...So, any ideas on what you want to buy?"

"Hey, this was yer idea, so run with it," Reno said as the took off, the redhead holding onto the blonde's hips for stability as he sat in front.

"Fine but you have to help pick things out, after all, it's your apartment."

"Fine, but no frills!"

"Frills?"

"Lacy, pink, fluffy, girly...frilly things."

"You're so strange, Reno."

"Says the blonde who wanted to go shoppin' instead of fuckin'."

"...Shut up."

"Sure, my Cloudy-Pie."

"Am I going to have to punish you?"

"Oh are we buying a whip?! Wait...that doesn't fit..."

"You're so lucky you're pretty, Reno."

"You too, Sweet-Cheeks."

**End of Chapter Twenty  
**

Review for the next chapter. Would'ave update if I didn't pass out. But, yeah... Oh, if ya want ta laugh (and / or be slightly appalled)...listen ta some Stephen Lynch...preferably "Dr. Stephen" which I think is the sketchiest of 'em all! They're all good, though...

Thanks fer reviewing:

**WitchHunterYohko**: -_Laughs_-.

**yumie-darkness123**: -_Grins_-Reno, too. -_Grabs cookies_-Yummm...

**JeanneAndHerAlters**: -_Laughs_-. -_Snacks on treat_-Sounds almost as crazy as my family...almost.

**D3OPH3ST**: -_Snickers_-What ever could it be from...? -_Laughs_-Think the bar scene would be a different story... -_Grins pervertedly_-Let the blowin' commence!

**CupCake-SweetTreats**: -_Laughs_-I think it counts. It is! I usually think of somethin' in my AP classes...or "Woman as Hero".

**EvilRaccoon**: It won't be too long...I think. -_Laughs_-.

**VampireChildofDarkness**: -_Laughs_-I do that a lot to Cid and Vince... Thought I should spare these too...kinda.

**NicotineGum**: -_Laughs_-'S what I do, my dear. I like ta think I'm good at it, too.

**Kaisha Shiori**: -_Laughs_-Yeah, 's one of my talents! Not a very practically talent when it comes to real life ('cept maybe writin' the ends to a book series), but a talent, nonetheless.


	21. Chapter 21

Title: Blondes

Disclaimer: If I owned this would I be here? C'mon people, think!

Setting: Pick one. I'm too lazy/wired to decide.

Summary: Are blondes really that dumb? How long can you answer a blonde's question with another question? Do blondes really have more fun? How quickly do they react when put in a strange situation? How quickly can you annoy a blonde to the point that they scream? What is foreplay for a blonde? How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? How do you confuse a blonde? How do you keep a blonde in suspense? Reno plans on finding out...with Cloud.

Warnings: Um…hmm. Think I've used them all before-_grins_-. Basically, anything I can think up. I'll just see there my mind takes this…could be anywhere-grins-. If you've read any of my other stories…you know what you're in for. If not, you'll see!

Side Notes:  
1) This story will have romance at the end…or very close to it.  
2) If you have any suggestions, feel free to send them in a review.  
3) Same goes for any ideas for future chapters...ideas, suggestions; they're different in my little world.  
4) Will end in smut…as some of you who have read my fics already know!!  
5) Each chapter will be a different question.  
6) My spelling sucks...Wordpad...again...  
7) Flames will not be tolerated-glares evilly-. This is your only warning.

**Chapter Twenty One: Dress Up  
**

Cloud smirked as they drove to the mall, knowing that Reno was still trying to figure out what they were going to be buying. The blonde was happy as they pulled into the parking lot, where he pulled the Turk into the mall by his wrist, almost running down to the store he needed to enter.

"Oh, hell no, Cloudy!" Reno said, stopping them outside of the store. "'Bed, Bath and Beyond'?! Hell no! That's where I draw the line!"

"Come on, Reno, we can finish shopping here then hit one more store and go home to finish where we left off!" Cloud defended, trying to pull the Turk into the store again.

"I ain't goin' in there, yo!"

"How's about this, we'll pick out a set and have them ship it to your apartment, then we can leave quickly and there'll be no hassle for you."

"...Ya've thought this through, haven't ya?"

"Yeah. Now, let's get goin'!"

"...I'm gonna hate this so much..."

Reluctantly, Reno let Cloud pull him into the store, sulking the entire time that Cloud spoke with salesperson after salesperson. After about half of an hour, Cloud had picked out a black leather couch set with large television, and living room ensemble. He had also picked out a kitchen set, which Reno thought was just to piss him off even more.

"There, that wasn't so bad, was it?" Cloud asked as they left the store.

"It was Hell, Cloudy! Pure Hell!" Reno said, glad to be leaving the mall.

"Hold on, Reno, I still have to pick something else up."

"Argh, it never ends!" the Turk whined. "Hurry up, yo..."

"I'll be back, the store's right there," Cloud said, lightly kissing the redhead's cheek. Reno's eyes widened as the blonde walked towards a lingerie store.

"Hey! Ya best not be buyin' me a bra, yo!" Noticing how people around the mall were staring a him, Reno snapped. "What?! Ain't ya ever seen someone yellin' into a store before?! ...Cloudy's gonna drive me insane..."

After ten minutes of waiting Cloud left the store, looking light pink as he held two bags. Once he was standing next to the Turk, Cloud handed him one bag.

"'S not a bra, is it?"

"Nope. That's my gift," he said, pointing at the bag Reno held. "This is yours," he held up the one he was holding.

"...You were never good at gift-givin', were ya?" Reno asked, smirking.

"I was, too!"

"Then ya should know what's wrong with what ya just said."

"You'll see what I mean when we get home. Now, let's get going, I believe I have something to finish?"

"Damn straight!"

The ride home seemed to take forever for the pair on Fenrir, mainly because Reno kept fidgeting, wanting to get there even quicker than they could. Once they had finally stopped, the redheaded Turk ran to his apartment, quickly followed by the blonde, who was just as eager as he was to get inside the building. After easing their way inside past the still broken door, the Turk pulled the swordsman into a tight embrace, claiming his lips as he worked up the mood.

Reno's hands were groping the blonde for all he was worth, hoping to work him into a frenzy as they slowly made their way to the door that led to his room. Cloud swiftly took over; pressing himself against the redhead while they moved, his hands pulling the thinner man's waist closer to his. The Turk moaned while he began to run his hands across the blonde's back, feeling said blonde leave a trail of kisses down his neck.

"Reno," Cloud moaned once they were in his room, the door locked behind them.

"Hmm?"

"Go put on my gift and I'll put on yours," he muttered in a low tone, sending shivers up the redhead's spine.

"What is it?"

"Go find out," Cloud purred, pushing Reno towards the bathroom door.

Reno grinned before he sprinted into the bathroom, removing his clothes as he did so. Cloud grinned to himself as he quickly undressed, putting on the item that he had bought for Reno's pleasure.

"Ya're jokin', right?!"

"Is it on?"

"Fuck no! An' it ain't gettin' put on, either!"

"Do you need help?"

"NO!"

"Then what's the problem?"

"Ya have ta ask, yo?!"

"Come on, Reno, it's my gift."

"Then you wear it!"

"We can switch after I see you in it."

"Like fuck ya will!"

"It's not as bad as you're making it seem."

"Are ya wearin' one?"

"...No."

"Then shut the hell up!"

Cloud snickered as he lied down on the Turk's bed, resting his head on the pillow as he looked at the bathroom door.

"Will you let me see you in it?"

"Will ya let me burn yer fuckin' eyes out?!"

"Come on, Reno, I promise not to laugh."

"Yeah, an I promise not ta strangle ya, yo!"

"Reno, please, I'm horny, and I need you out here right now."

"Can I come out naked?"

"No, but I'll take it off of you if you want."

"Dude, ya owe me!"

"I'll make it up to you, I swear," Cloud purred, watching as the door handle turned slowly...

**End of Chapter Twenty One  
**

Review for the next chapter.

Thanks fer reviewing:

**D3OPH3ST**: -_Laughs_-Kinda. -_Snickers_-Damn, my attempt at Valenwind has been discovered! ...Just so ya know...ya inspired a fic outta me.

**Toons**: -_Laughs_-Eh, they're just my random ramblin's. He's gotta small intention span? I dunno. -_Laughs_-trust me, I ain't stallin', this idea was just too good to pass up!

**carefreecat**: -_Snickers_-Then my job's complete!

**yumie-darkness123**: -_Grins_-It is, badly vieled, too. Mmm, yaoi-y, creamy(-_snickers uncontrollably_-) goodness!

**Bekas Strife**: Well, wonder only a little more, then ya'll be surprised! (...Not really...)

**NicotineGum**: -_Laughs_-Hang in there! He's got a plan!

**WitchHunterYohko**: -_Laughs_-Closer now.

**I vant Lemon XD**: 'S comin', sweetie.

**Deinde**: -_Snickers_-I'm good at odd.

**JeanneAndHerAlters**: Aww, ya've got the "Dysfunctional Family Starter Kit"! I've got the Deluxe Packaging: complete with: incest, lesbians, gays, Wiccans, religious people(an' I _mean _religious!), drunks, criminals, suicide, creeps, chain-smokers, druggies, ragers, punks, thiefs, an'a whole plethora of disease (all of which could kill me.), an' more; fun no?. Yay! Plushie...he can be loved by plushie Rufus!

**LittleLoneLiar**: No prob, sweetheart! Welcome to the group! Don't worry 'bout spellin'; trust me, I can't spell either. -_Laughs_-No need ta atone, my Vince-ish friend (gotta admit, Vince's all 'bout the atonin'). Thanks!


	22. Chapter 22

Title: Blondes

Disclaimer: If I owned this would I be here? C'mon people, think!

Setting: Pick one. I'm too lazy/wired to decide.

Summary: Are blondes really that dumb? How long can you answer a blonde's question with another question? Do blondes really have more fun? How quickly do they react when put in a strange situation? How quickly can you annoy a blonde to the point that they scream? What is foreplay for a blonde? How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? How do you confuse a blonde? How do you keep a blonde in suspense? Reno plans on finding out...with Cloud.

Warnings: Um…hmm. Think I've used them all before-_grins_-. Basically, anything I can think up. I'll just see there my mind takes this…could be anywhere-grins-. If you've read any of my other stories…you know what you're in for. If not, you'll see!

Side Notes:  
1) This story will have romance at the end…or very close to it.  
2) If you have any suggestions, feel free to send them in a review.  
3) Same goes for any ideas for future chapters...ideas, suggestions; they're different in my little world.  
4) Will end in smut…as some of you who have read my fics already know!!  
5) Each chapter will be a different question.  
6) My spelling sucks...Wordpad...again...  
7) Flames will not be tolerated-glares evilly-. This is your only warning.

**Chapter Twenty Two: To Lemon Or Not To Lemon?  
**

The door open slowly, revealing Reno, who was blushing darker than his hair color. "You **_dick_**!" he snapped, once he looked at Cloud, who was lounging on his bed wearing only a pair of red boxers and a lusty grin.

"What?" Cloud asked, his grin growing while his eyes roaming over Reno's body.

"Ya damn well know what! Ya've got on boxers, yo!"

"...And?"

"_And_?! You ask '_and_'?! I'll tell ya what '_**and**_'! _**An**_' I'm stuck here wearin' a fuckin' banana-hammock that goes up my ass! That's what '**_and_**'!!"

"Really?" Cloud asked, his grin widening even more. "Do a turn for me, I want to see it."

"Fuck off, yo!" Reno snapped, crossing his arms over his chest as his face darkened even more.

"But it's my present," Cloud whined, pouting innocently at the redhead.

"Argh, yer such a pain in the ass!"

"Please?"

"I hate you, yo." Even as he muttered this, the Turk turned around in a quick circle, feeling the hero's eyes roam over him quickly. Once he was looking at Cloud, he could see the way that the glowing eyes had darkened. "Stop starin', Cloudy, yer makin' me nervous."

"You've got a nice ass, Reno," Cloud said, patting the bedding next to him.

"Yeah, I know," he said, smirking. "An' ya've got a nice hard-on, yo."

"I know. Now, get over here."

"I'm still pissed at you, Cloudy-Pie..."

"But I want to be an _actual _pain in your ass."

"You fuckin' suck, yo," Reno muttered as he walked over to the bed, a small grin on his face.

"Only for you, Reno," Cloud said, pulling the Turk onto the bed once he was standing close enough to it.

Reno yelped as he landed roughly on top of the blonde. Though, as soon as he had landed on the hero, the redhead found himself flipped over and pinned to his bed, said hero lying comfortably between his legs.

"Don't ya ever buy me one of these again, Cloud; it barely covers what it should!" Reno said, shuddering as soft kisses were placed along his neck.

"But that's why it's perfect," the blonde said, running one of his hands over the bright blue fabric, feeling how the flesh underneath it twitched.

"Well, ya can wear it next time an' I'll get the boxers!"

"Mmm, as much as I like that, no."

"Yer so unfair," the Turk whined, running his hands down the blonde's back.

"Not really, just think of this: my hands touched what you're wearing..._all of it_."

Reno blushed darkly.

"Perv."

"But you're the one wearing it..."

"Well, ya offered ta take it off, yo. So, get movin'."

Cloud grinned as he licked his lips, his hands slipping under the edge of the soft fabric. He leaned up and kissed Reno, feeling how the Turk lifted his hips, giving him room to remove the garment. Given the chance, the blonde slowly slid down the material, relishing in the soft moan that escaped from his pale lips. Once it was down to the pale redhead's knees, the hero broke the kiss, smirking at the way his lips began to turn a bright red.

"See? They are off, now," Cloud said, grinning lustfully at the man under him.

"Mostly," Reno said, smirking playfully at the blonde. He reached down and gently smacked his ass, "But they're still on, an' you're still dressed, yo."

"Well, let me fix that."

As soon as he said that, Cloud sat back on his knees before hastily removing his boxers, letting Reno see all that he had to offer. He the reached down and quickly pulled off the blue thong around the Turk's knees, grinning before he settled down again.

"Are you sure you don't want to keep that?" he asked before placing a soft kiss on the redhead's cheek.

"Fuck to the no."

"...I've never hear it out that way before..." Cloud aid, smirking. "I guess I'm going to keep it, then."

"Yer gonna wear 'em? Have fun with that! They're a permanent wedgie, yo!"

"...I never said that I was going to _wear _them," the blonde added with a lustful grin.

"That's creepy, Cloud! Wash 'em at least!"

"I'll do what I want with them... But you need to shut up for now."

"Oh yeah?" Reno asked, smirking. "Make me!"

"Easily done," Cloud muttered, rolling his hips forward harshly. The Turk gasped, robbed of his voice as colorful spots danced before his eyes. "You might want to save your voice for now Reno, you're going to need it."

"F-fer wh-what?"

"...For when you're screaming my name."

"Ya talk b-big, yo. Prove it!"

"With pleasure," Cloud said, smiling before he captured the Turk's lips in a passionate kiss, slowly rubbing his hips against the thinner man's, their hard cocks grinding together. The blonde's hand slowly roamed down the redhead's sides, stopping to hold the narrow hips. A sudden knock on the door to the redheaded Turk's room effectively caught their attention.

"Cloud? Reno? Are you in there?"

"Go away, Teefs!" the Turk yelled, smacking himself in the forehead. "Every damn time," he muttered soft enough for Cloud to hear.

"I wanted to tell you guys-"

"Don't care! Go away an' come back in an hour or four!"

"Four hours?" Cloud asked, grinning.

"Who knows? I might want a nap afterwards."

"But it's about-"

"Really, Teefs! Don't care!"

"... ...Do you think she's gone?"

"If not she will be. Now, where were we? ...Oh, yeah; makin' me scream... Well...'m waitin'."

**End of Chapter Twenty Two  
**

Review for the next chapter. -_Laughs_-Ya've no idea how hard it is to try to pay attention in class when you've got the image of Reno in a thong stuck in yer head! Hmm, I'm beginnin' ta think that only I could drag out a simple scene fer so long. But maybe someone else's done this also? Wow, gotta say, was _NOT _expectin' all of these reviews...

Thanks fer reviewing:

**carefreecat**: -_Laughs(an' ya have no idea just how much I did!)_-Ya know now! Yay fer more Reno plushies!

**yumie-darkness123**: -_Grins_-Well, it starts with a 'th' an' rhymes with 'song'! Mm, cake...

**Lawn-Ch-air**: -_Grins_-Yup!

**JeanneAndHerAlters**: Yup, know what that's like, too. Yay! More chibis an' sweets! ...I get the feelin' I should put them ta work...

**:P**: -_Grins pervly_-IT can be just as good, though we can save that idea for one of their birthdays... Happy birthday to...let's do Reno(I mean that in all senses of the word!).

**D3OPH3ST**: -Laughs-Yup! Nope, no frilly dresses fer Reno...fer now(we can get him drunk 'fore the dresses get taken outta the closet!). -_Laughs hysterically_-I can see him doin' that, too! Pigtails, tiara an' all!

**Kaisha Shiori**: -_Snickers_-A drunk Vince is an even funnier (an' hornier) Vince! -_Laughs hysterically (an' I did)_-It's so much fun! An' I love the reactions it brings...

**Maumse**: -_Laughs_-Yup, Reno's not very lucky! Hmm...ya never know, he's an odd one. -_Laughs_-Close! No sick lady panties fer Reno, though! Oh, should let ya know, ya've got a RenoxVincent fic in yer name.

**CupCake-SweetTreats**: -_Laughs_-Now ya know! No prob, I know how computers can be(Vista).

**Vaishin**: -_Snickers_-Good luck with that! Franks(yeah, I said it) fer the cookies! -_Grins_-'Least ya got some of yer own stuff up!

**NicotineGum**: -_Laughs_-.

**Toons**: -_Grins_-'S what I do!

**Bekas Strife**: -_Laughs_-So do some many others! -_Looks at the names above_-Like all 'a them!

**VampireChildofDarkness**: I think it is!


	23. Chapter 23

Title: Blondes

Disclaimer: If I owned this would I be here? C'mon people, think!

Setting: Pick one. I'm too lazy/wired to decide.

Summary: Are blondes really that dumb? How long can you answer a blonde's question with another question? Do blondes really have more fun? How quickly do they react when put in a strange situation? How quickly can you annoy a blonde to the point that they scream? What is foreplay for a blonde? How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? How do you confuse a blonde? How do you keep a blonde in suspense? Reno plans on finding out...with Cloud.

Warnings: Um…hmm. Think I've used them all before-_grins_-. Basically, anything I can think up. I'll just see there my mind takes this…could be anywhere-grins-. If you've read any of my other stories…you know what you're in for. If not, you'll see!

Side Notes:  
1) This story will have romance at the end…or very close to it.  
2) If you have any suggestions, feel free to send them in a review.  
3) Same goes for any ideas for future chapters...ideas, suggestions; they're different in my little world.  
4) Will end in smut…as some of you who have read my fics already know!!  
5) Each chapter will be a different question.  
6) My spelling sucks...Wordpad...again...  
7) Flames will not be tolerated-glares evilly-. This is your only warning.

**Chapter Twenty Three: Let There Be Lemons!  
**

Cloud purred before pressing his lips firmly against Reno's while his hands gently rubbed against the pale man's inner thighs, making him quiver. The Turk groaned into the kiss, pushing his hips upwards, grinding against the blonde on top of him. He reached up and threaded his fingers through the blonde tresses, pulling his body against his even more as they kissed.

Cloud began to slowly kiss a trail down to the redhead's neck, listening to how he panted softly. He could feel the vibrations coming from the Turk's throat as he gently sucked on the flesh.

"Y-yer really good at this, Cloud," Reno moaned, arching closer.

"Shut up, Reno," the blonde muttered, emphasizing his point by jerking his hips roughly into the redhead's, making the thinner man moan.

"B-bastard."

Cloud chuckled while his right hand dipped father up the Turk's thigh, rubbing against his hardened cock, and forcing a sultry gasp from him.

"Where do you keep your lube?" the blonde asked, leaning forward to nip at the simple, silver hoop in the Turk's ear.

"Y-yeah..."

"... ...**_Where_**, Reno?"

"Nnnngh, well, if ya let go fer a d-damn minute I'd t-tell ya."

"Mm, no can do."

"Yer s-such an ass..."

"Focus Reno; lube? Where is it?"

"B-bathroom."

"Hmm...and why is it so far away?"

"Ask wh-when I can th-think straight, yo!"

"Stay here, I'll get it," Cloud said, placing a soft kiss on Reno's lips. He gently squeezed the hard flesh in his hand, making the redhead thrust forward as he groaned. "Don't go anywhere."

"Y-yeah, like I'd just go wanderin', now," Reno muttered, lying placidly on his bed as he watched the blonde hurry into his bathroom. "Check the medicine cabinet!" Cloud smirked as he walked back towards the bed, holding the bottle in his hand before he climbed on top of the Turk. He placed the bottle to the far side of the bed, instead focusing on turning the redhead into a writhing mass of pleasure.

Though, before Cloud could act on his new plan, he found himself lying on his back, a determined Reno sitting down on his waist. The Turk grinned as he quickly grabbed a hold of the blonde's wrists, pinning them above his head, even though he knew, deep, deep, deep down, that the swordsman could easily get out of the hold. Reno slowly rolled his hips into small circles, getting a groan from the blonde, who's eyes rolled into the back of his head.

"Hey, Cloud," Reno purred, leaning down to whisper into his ear.

"Y-yeah?"

"I figure I owe ya a blow job from earlier."

Before the blonde could respond, Reno slid down his body, kissing the skin as he went. Cloud shivered when he felt long, thin fingers stroke him gently. Reno grinned before he leaned down, running his tongue along the flushed, dripping tip of the blonde's cock.

"Mmm...hero-y!" Reno purred, grinning up at Cloud.

"Reno, I love you to death..." Cloud gasped, blushing brightly. "But you're a dork!"

Reno just snickered before swallowing the swollen head, making Cloud arch and moan loudly. He grinned proudly around the flesh, taking in more of the heated cock and holding the swordsman's hips to the bed, not letting him force himself further into his mouth without his say. The blonde tightly gripped onto the back of the Turk's head, now that his hands were free, and slowly attempted to force him farther down his cock.

Reno just smirked as he allowed the blonde swordsman to force more of his hard cock into his mouth. Deciding to have a bit of fun with Cloud, he began to mumble indecipherable words around the flesh. Said blonde groaned as his hips twitched forward in an attempt to sheathe more of himself in the Turk's hot, wet mouth. The redhead felt how the pulsating flesh in his mouth twitched greatly, warm fluid slowly trickling down the back of his throat.

Reno moved his hands down the toned hero's legs, feeling the muscles quiver under his finger while Cloud eagerly thrust up into his mouth. The blonde was only moaning as he pushed his cock in and out of the Turk's mouth, feeling the strong tongue lapping against the underside of his cock and running over the sensitive head.

Cloud bit down on his bottom lip as he felt warm fingers tightly wrap around his balls, massaging the flesh. A strangled sound came from the blonde as he looked down at the redhead, who was looking up lustfully at him. His eyes were shining brightly, making the swordsman shiver with the silent promise that lied in the aquamarine depths.

"R-Reno..." Cloud moaned, feeling a tightening heat in his abdomen. The Turk just grinned happily around him, sucking with more fervor. He knew what the blonde was trying to say, and awaited the end results. The blonde shuddered as he finally came, feeling the hot tongue of the redhead lapping up all that he produced before sucking him for anything that remained. Once he was done with that, Reno licked the blonde clean before removing his mouth and crawling up so he was at eye-level with the blonde.

"Have fun?" Reno purred, gently kissing Cloud's cheek.

"Y-yeah," the hero replied, grinning stupidly at him. Suddenly, the phone began to ring, getting the both of them to turn and look at the object.

"Least they waited 'til after ya came," the Turk muttered picking up the phone. "Y' ello?"

"Have you lost your mind?!" a familiar voice screamed out at the redhead.

"Yup! And I don't miss it!" Reno then hung up the phone and turned to the blonde.

"Who was that?"

"Didn't ask. Now...where were we? Oh yeah; lube."

Clod smirked as he blindly reached for the bottle, staring at the redhead. Finding it, his smirk widened nd he held it up in front of the redheaded Turk's eyes.

"Was this what you are looking for?"

"That all depends, Cloud: do ya plan on gettin' a nice fuck or not? Hand it over."

"...I think not."

"Huh? Ya don' want to fuck?"

"You're cute, Reno, but unbelievably dense," Cloud muttered as he opened the bottle, spread some of the clear, thick, liquid on his fingers. "You might want to relax now."

**End of Chapter Twenty Three  
**

Review for the next chapter. Sorry fer the wait, ya'll. I had a project to do, an' instead of doin' it, I spent the majority of my week passed out in pain; fun no? Know what else is fun: food poisonin' / cross contamination. I'm pretty sure I'll pass out in my bathroom tonight...wish me luck!

Thanks fer reviewing:

**Bekas Strife**: -_Laughs_-Could be!

**JeannesAndHerAlters**: -_Grins_-I think it counts...as a half, maybe. Woo! A WEAPON an' soul-consumin' goody!

**Lemon Wine**: -_Snickers_-Don't we all? ...Or is it a blonde thing? 'Cause I know I do!

**carefreecat**: -_Laughs hysterically_-That's one of the greatest reactions I've ever seen! Here's some lemony goodness fer a, sweetheart!

**LittleLoneLiar**: -_Snickers_-I'll keep that in mind! Sounds..._fun_.

**CupCake-SweetTreats**: -_Laughs_-I...did _NOT _think of that... I just thought it'd make his pretty little eyes stand out! -_Grins_-Nah, I just write random shit ta keep me entertained. 'M sure yers're just fine; maybe ya're too hard on yerself?

**yumie-darkness123**: -_Laughs_-Think **CupCake-SweetTreats** beat ya to it...if my math's correct, could be wrong, though. But, yah, 's a lot (which's why ya'll'll -_this's a word in my vocabulary_!-be gettin' a gift!). Yup! -_Drools_-Now all I need is Vince in a leather thong with a whip whil Cid's chained to a bed, gagged but horny as fuck!

**Vaishin**: -_Laughs_-. Ooh, drabbles? If I find 'em, or get the time, I'll prob'ly read 'em.

**NicotineGum**: -_Laughs_-Yup! An' I've got a plan...kinda...ta get it done!

**Lawn-Ch-air**: -_Snickers_-I've actually had one in class. Yeah, the Nurse at my school's say: "Well, I can't give you anything for it, so you should get back to class." My school's fucked.

**Deinde**: -_Laughs hysterically_-'Specially not if it zips! I can see it now: "Nurse! We got another one!"

**Kaisha Shiori**: -_Laughs_-I love ya'll too. Well, I dunno if this counts fer a cliffhanger, oh well.

**tala-fangirl**: 'S all right. Aww, ya must'ave died without it. I know I do every time that happens.

**D3OPH3ST**: -_Snickers_-Well, it seemed like somethin' Reno'd say(-_snickers_-banana-hammock). -_Laughs_-Thanks! Hmm...I'd have ta say: NO! She's not innocent: I know, 'cause I've got boobs that could rival hers (sadly, my friends call me Barbie, then I hit 'em), an', as ya can tell, I ain't innocent. So, she _can't _be! -_Snickers_-Lemon it is!

**VampireChildofDarkness**: -_Grins_-Would ya like ta see a copy of it? Ya know what? I do...I really, _really _do!


	24. Chapter 24

Title: Blondes

Disclaimer: If I owned this would I be here? C'mon people, think!

Setting: Pick one. I'm too lazy/wired to decide.

Summary: Are blondes really that dumb? How long can you answer a blonde's question with another question? Do blondes really have more fun? How quickly do they react when put in a strange situation? How quickly can you annoy a blonde to the point that they scream? What is foreplay for a blonde? How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? How do you confuse a blonde? How do you keep a blonde in suspense? Reno plans on finding out...with Cloud.

Warnings: Um…hmm. Think I've used them all before-_grins_-. Basically, anything I can think up. I'll just see there my mind takes this…could be anywhere-grins-. If you've read any of my other stories…you know what you're in for. If not, you'll see!

Side Notes:  
1) This story will have romance at the end…or very close to it.  
2) If you have any suggestions, feel free to send them in a review.  
3) Same goes for any ideas for future chapters...ideas, suggestions; they're different in my little world.  
4) Will end in smut…as some of you who have read my fics already know!!  
5) Each chapter will be a different question.  
6) My spelling sucks...Wordpad...again...  
7) Flames will not be tolerated-glares evilly-. This is your only warning.

**Chapter Twenty Four: Moment  
**

Reno smirked as he felt slick, warm fingers press against his entrance.

"Relaxed?" Cloud asked, pressing a bit forward with one of his fingers while Reno remained above him. The Turk nodded, and the blonde slowly pushed one digit inside of the redhead, feeling how the muscles clenched around his finger. A low moan came from Reno, who shifted slightly at the intrusion. Though, they stopped when the phone suddenly started to ring again. Reno groaned loudly before picking up the phone with trembling hands.

"RENO! Did you just hang up on me?!"

"Yup! Bye-bye now!" Reno said, hanging up on Tseng one more time. The phone rang again, right when Cloud began to slowly pump his finger inside of the redhead. The Turk then fumbled for a while, working to unplug the phone, but was satisfied when he did.

"Who was it this time?" Cloud asked, grinning hotly at the redheaded Turk.

"Nngh...Tseng."

"What did he want?"

"Don't know, don't care..."

Cloud smirked as he felt Reno push back, forcing his fingers in deeper with more need. He quickly added another digit, getting the thinner man to moan as he shuddered. The blonde softly kissed the redhead on the lips while he stretched out his fingers, forcing the Turk open even more before he felt that he could add another finger inside of the man. A low moan came from him when the third finger was inserted, his hips rocking back into the fingers with more force. The blonde flushed even more at the sultry sound that came from the body above his.

Once he felt that Reno was relaxed enough, Cloud began to twist his fingers around, hoping to find the bundle of nerves that would make him see white and cry out. He knew when he stuck it because the Turk bucked back fiercely, moaning loudly, eyes rolling into the back of his head. The blonde grinned widely at the reaction, quickly removing his fingers and flipping the redhead onto his back.

"So, tell me, Reno: are you a screamer?" the blonde asked after leaning down so his face was almost touching Reno's.

Reno blushed furiously at the question, making Cloud smirk at him.

"Well? ...Are you going to answer, or leave me to find out?"

"Like I'm gonna just answer that?!" Reno practically shrieked, making Cloud laugh.

"I'll take that as a yes."

"Shut up, you fucker!"

"Someone's a bit defensive."

"Jus' shut up, already, yo."

"Hey, Reno, lean forward a bit."

Confused, the Turk did what he was told, just to feel something tug at his hair.

"Ow! Hey!"

"Go forward a bit more."

"The fuck're ya doin'?!"

"Just trust me."

"Fine, but if ya rip out my hair, yer gonna wake up bald!"

Cloud chuckled as he the redhead did what he was ordered again. The blonde grabbed a hold of the tie in Reno's long hair, tugging on it once more. This time, it was swiftly removed from his hair, letting the long, flame red strands fan out on the pillow behind his head. Throwing the silver tie behind him, the blonde pushed the Turk down on the bed, kissing his lips softly.

"So, are you going to tell me now?" Cloud asked once the kiss was broken.

"No!" Reno snapped, his face turning a dark red. The blonde just grinned even more, watching as the redhead flushed.

"Why not? I'll just find out anyways."

"Yer a bastard, ya know that?!"

Cloud chuckled before swiftly kissing the redhead, feeling how he trembled while moaning. The blonde grinned into the kiss as he reached for the lube once more, blindly reaching for it on the bed while his free hand slid down the Turk's chest. Once he had the bottle, the swordsman quickly oured more of the thick fluid onto his hand before flipping the lid shut once more. Looking directly at Reno, he smiled as stroked himself, slicking up his cock quickly.

"Ready?" Cloud purred, feeling how the Turk's legs wrapped around his waist while thin arms went around his neck.

Reno grinned heatedly at the blonde, feeling how the lubricated tip of his cock was gently pushing against his entrance. He quickly leaned forward and crashed their lips together roughly, his hips jerking forward and pressing the blonde against him with a bit more force. Cloud smirked into the kiss before he began to slowly push into the redhead, feeling how he shifted and tensed underneath him.

Breaking the kiss, Cloud paused, only partially inside of the Turk. Reno nodded quickly, and he resume the action, fully sheathing himself inside of the heat. The Turk squirmed as he attempted to get used to feeling. When he was, he nodded again to the blonde, who started a slow pace; thrusting in and out of the man gently. Already, sweat had begun to form on the pale redhead's skin.

Reno was moaning loudly as their hips collided, his body jerking forward to push Cloud in deeper. Once the blonde ad quickened the frequency of his thrusts, he angled his hips, trying to hit the Turk's sweet spot. When he struck it, after angling for a while, the thin Turk screamed his name. Hearing this, the blonde swordsman grinned happily and aimed for that spot with every thrust.

After doing this for a while, Cloud could feel himself getting closer to his climax. wanting Reno to come at a similar time, the blonde reached between their sweaty bodies and tightly gripped the Turk's straining cock. He began to stroke him in time with his thrusts, noticing how the Turk's eyes were closed and how he seemed to lose his breath, panting even more. The redhead tightly held on to the blonde's back, his blunt fingernails raking down his back, leaving raised red lines.

Cloud moaned at the dull burning in his back, thrusting into the smaller man even faster. He began to moan with the redhead as the warm walls surrounding his cock clenched sporadically, letting him know that the Turk was getting closer to his release. As he panted, the blonde left a sloppy kiss on his cheek knowing that they were both close to coming. Reno began to thrust his hips into the swordsman's, forcing him in as deep as he could go as they thrust against one another.

All to quickly for their liking, the pair came, shouting the others name. Once he was spent, Cloud collapsed on top of Reno, panting for air as he struggled to regain his senses. The Turk was in the same position, gasping for air as they lied together. When he had caught his breath, the blonde lifted himself off of the thinner man by about one inch before he slowly pulled out of the man, listening to how the redhead moaned and feeling how he shifted while he did so. He smiled sweetly at the redhead, who was smiling back at him.

"So, you're a screamer?" Cloud said, lying down next to the Turk. Reno playfully punched him in the arm, scowling at the blonde.

"Way to ruin the moment, yo!"

"Sorry?" he said, grinning meekly at the redhead. "...Should we plug the phone back in?"

"Yup, the moment's ruined! Way to go, Cloudy-Pie!"

"I already said I was sorry!"

"Prove it, yo," Reno said, grinning as he rolled on top of the blonde.

**End of Chapter Twenty Four  
**

Review for the next chapter. Feelin' better: got sick, but better. An' that, my friends, is why ya never let a drunk uncle grill fer ya. Sorry fer the wait, but hey, lemon's here!

Thanks fer reviewing:

**carefreecat**: Aww, thanks, sweetie.

**d0rkgoddess**: Thanks.

**tala-fangirl**: Yup, he's uke-tastic!

**NicotineGum**: -_Laughs_-Glad ya liked it!

**JeanneAndHerAlters**: -_Laughs_-Well, happy belated birthday! Yers is just one day after my sister's. but, hey, least he got it to ya in the same month (that's a blessin', trust me!). An' I'll just put that muffin in my stash fer when I can look at it without turnin' gray.

**LittleLoneLiar**: -_Snickers_-Cavities, much? Sheesh, an' my ma thinks _I'm _gonna get diabetes! ...Well, I will, but that's a different story! Three? -_Laughs_-That might keep ya up fer a week straight, not just 'til three!

**LoveMayKill**: -_Laughs_-'S what I do, sweetheart!

**CupCake-SweetTreats**: -_Snickers_-Well, that's nice ta know 'cause I don't see it as motivation...more like random! -_Laughs_-Cookies're always good!

**yumie-darkness123**: -_Sighs_-Ahhhhh, cliffhangers, ya serve me well. Yeah, he is! -_Chuckles_-Never heard of those kind of cookies before...

**Kaisha Shiori**: -_Grins_-Yup, somethin's comin'! Wow, really? Granted, I don't mention it often...I think. But surely _someone's _got to have written 'bout it, right?

**Bekas Strife**: -_Laughs_-Maybe if he's havin' a _really _good day...an' Cloud's been havin' an off day! -_Snickers_-"Hojo on sugar"...good one!

**Stoic-Genius**: Thanks, sweetie.

**VampireChildofDarkness**: Yeah, 'm gonna try to get it done 'fore break, that way I can use the school's scanners.

**Maumse**: -_Snickers_-Thanks, an' I love ya, too! Well, he _can _be dense, as we've seen...over an' over again.

**Toons**: -_Laughs_-Yup! No need ta worry though...it ain't too bad...I think...well, so far...

**D3OPH3ST**: -_Laughs hysterically_-Perv! Who knows, I might be able to take her; double D's, babe! -_Snickers_-Who doesn't like cock (on some level)? -_Snorts_-"Penis go in butt nao?" I respond with: yup!

**WitchHunterYohko**: -_Laughs_-.


	25. Chapter 25

Title: Blondes

Disclaimer: If I owned this would I be here? C'mon people, think!

Setting: Pick one. I'm too lazy/wired to decide.

Summary: Are blondes really that dumb? How long can you answer a blonde's question with another question? Do blondes really have more fun? How quickly do they react when put in a strange situation? How quickly can you annoy a blonde to the point that they scream? What is foreplay for a blonde? How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? How do you confuse a blonde? How do you keep a blonde in suspense? Reno plans on finding out...with Cloud.

Warnings: Um…hmm. Think I've used them all before-_grins_-. Basically, anything I can think up. I'll just see there my mind takes this…could be anywhere-grins-. If you've read any of my other stories…you know what you're in for. If not, you'll see!

Side Notes:  
1) This story will have romance at the end…or very close to it.  
2) If you have any suggestions, feel free to send them in a review.  
3) Same goes for any ideas for future chapters...ideas, suggestions; they're different in my little world.  
4) Will end in smut…as some of you who have read my fics already know!!  
5) Each chapter will be a different question.  
6) My spelling sucks...Wordpad...again...  
7) Flames will not be tolerated-glares evilly-. This is your only warning.

**Chapter Twenty Five: Chocobo  
**

"Umm...how?" Cloud asked, noticing how the redhead was grinning almost maniacally at him.

"Don't ya want it ta be a surprise, Chocobo-Head?" Reno asked, leaning down closely to the blonde.

"Must you call me 'Chocobo-Head'?"

"Hey, if the fluffy, spiky hair fits..."

"Reno, that-"

"Let's get some chocobo burgers!"

"What?!"

"C'mon Cloudy, what better way ta say sorry than ta revert ta cannibalism!"

"I'm **_NOT _**a chocobo, Reno!" Cloud snapped, pouting at the grinning redhead.

"Aww, but ya are! Go look in my mirror, see yerself in all yer chocobo glory. ...So, can we?"

"...Reno, this _is _your apartment, you can order whatever you want..."

"Ya don't get it, yo," the Turk said, grinning even more.

"What?"

"We ain't _orderin_', we're goin' out ta eat! So can we? Please, please, please?! Pretty please with a chocolate chocobo on top?"

"You aren't going to stop, are you?"

"Nope. So can we?! I'll be good, I promise!"

"Why do I get the feeling that you're lying?"

"'Cause I am! PLEASE?!"

"Fine..." Cloud said, sighing.

"Yay!" Reno shouted, bouncing slightly, while still on top of the blonde. "I'm gonna get a double, no a _triple_, with bacon and extra cheese! ...Why are you looking at me like that?"

"How...? Wait, I don't want to know."

"So, c'mon! Let's get dressed an' get somethin' ta eat! I'm famished!"

"So sex makes you hungry?" Cloud asked, looking puzzled at the redheaded Turk, who jumped off of the bed and began to gather their clothes, throwing them onto the bed. The thin redhead growled as he had to keep flipping his hair out of his eyes every time he bent down, inadvertently giving the blonde quite the sight.

"See? This's why I keep it tied back."

"...Mm hm."

"Ya ain't listenin', are ya?"

"...Mm hm."

"Hey, Cloud," Reno said, grinning deviously. "Would ya bend Rufus over a desk an' spank him?"

"...Mm hm." Reno snickered, deciding he could have some real fun with this as he picked up the blonde's pants.

"Would ya do a three-way with Cid an' Yuffers?"

"...Mm hm."

"Would...would ya dry hump a cactus while a string of huge materia gets rammed up yer ass?"

"...Mm hm."

Reno started to laugh hysterically at this confession.

"Oh! That's priceless! I ain't ever gonna forget that Chocobo-Head!"

"Huh? Forget about what?"

"That's ya'd dry hump a cactus while huge materia's shoved in yer ass!"

"What?!"

"Hey, ya agreed to it!"

"I did no such thing!"

"Did too, yo!"

"I wouldn't agree to that!"

"An' yet, ya did! Now, get dressed, we've got some burgers ta eat!"

"Reno-"

"Aw, c'mon, ya already agreed!"

Reno pouted sweetly at the blonde, making him melt into putty in the Turk's hands. Sighing, Cloud nodded, making the redhead cheer and jump around slightly. Trying not to drool, the swordsman watched as he jumped for a bit before dancing slightly, gathering even more clothes from around the room.

"So any ideas what ya want?" Reno asked, dropping the rest of the clothes onto the edge of his bed.

"Not really..."

"Well, what're ya hungry for?"

"...Steak?"

"They serve chocobo steaks...I think..."

"Where would we even be _going_?"

"Well, get dressed an' I'll show ya!"

"You aren't driving, though."

"Aww, c'mon, why not?! I can drive good!"

"My bike, my rules, Reno."

"'S not fair, yo!"

"How so? I bought it."

"It just...it ain't fair!"

"...Nice argument."

"Shut up and get dressed."

"Yes, dear."

"...Bastard."

**End of Chapter Twenty Five  
**

Review for the next chapter. 'M laughin' at the way my current poll (fer fic number what? 40?) 's goin'. So far, FinnStork's winnin'.

Thanks fer reviewing:

**Bekas Strife**: -_Snickers_-Wonder no more!

**carefreecat**: -_Laughs_-'S as interestin' as death by chicken soup! Good luck with the cleanup, though!

**yumie-darkness123**: Thanks! -_Twitches_-**_S-super_ **brownies? Ya're too good fer me!

**CupCake-SweetTreats**: -_Laughs_-Yeah, I do that a lot...

**LoveMayKill**: Thanks!

**tala-fangirl**: Here ya go!

**LittleLoneLiar**: Awww, 's all right sweetie. we still love ya! Plus, 's all right ta miss your ma; I think that's cute!

**D3OPH3ST**: -_Laughs_-'S all right; we all are! Ha! I can take 'er! Wow, I just realizd I've been writin' under that psuedoname (prob'ly misspelled that) fer a couple 'a years now... Anyways... -_Laughs_-Nope!

**Kaisha Shiori**: -_Laughs_-He'll be back an' good as new soon enough! ...Just need ta wait fer the blood to go back to his brain...

**StoicGenius**: -_Laughs_-Hadn't thought of that, but seems true! -_Snickers_-He's into pillow talkin'!


	26. Chapter 26

Title: Blondes

Disclaimer: If I owned this would I be here? C'mon people, think!

Setting: Pick one. I'm too lazy/wired to decide.

Summary: Are blondes really that dumb? How long can you answer a blonde's question with another question? Do blondes really have more fun? How quickly do they react when put in a strange situation? How quickly can you annoy a blonde to the point that they scream? What is foreplay for a blonde? How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? How do you confuse a blonde? How do you keep a blonde in suspense? Reno plans on finding out...with Cloud.

Warnings: Um…hmm. Think I've used them all before-_grins_-. Basically, anything I can think up. I'll just see there my mind takes this…could be anywhere-grins-. If you've read any of my other stories…you know what you're in for. If not, you'll see!

Side Notes:  
1) This story will have romance at the end…or very close to it.  
2) If you have any suggestions, feel free to send them in a review.  
3) Same goes for any ideas for future chapters...ideas, suggestions; they're different in my little world.  
4) Will end in smut…as some of you who have read my fics already know!!  
5) Each chapter will be a different question.  
6) My spelling sucks...Wordpad...again...  
7) Flames will not be tolerated-glares evilly-. This is your only warning.

**Chapter Twenty Six: Embarrass  
**

Cloud was smirking as he got dressed, watching the Turk next to him dress as he did so. Once they were done, Reno grabbed a hold of the blonde's wrist, pulling him as he hurried out of the apartment. Once he opened the door to his bedroom, the redhead paused.

"Uhh...Who're you?" Reno asked, looking at two men wearing blue jumpsuits.

"The lady told us to fix this door. ...Do you know her?" one of the men said, looking at the pair confused.

"Big boobs, kinda bossy?"

"Reno!" Cloud hissed.

"Yeah, that's her," the other worker said while the Turk grinned.

"Well, have fun, we'll be back later!"

"Umm...when did you guys get here?" Cloud asked, blushing and keeping Reno from leaving as quickly as he wanted.

"Like, a minute ago, why?"

"No reason!"

"Liar," Reno added, chuckling. "Now, c'mon, Cloudy-Cakes, let's get goin'!"

The blonde sighed, but followed the thinner man out of the apartment, missing the look that the workers shared as they passed. Reno tugged on the swordsman's wrist as he practically pulled him out of the building. Cloud could not help but smile as he was being pulled along.

"Seriously, yo; why can't I drive? I've done it before," Reno whined as he got on top of Fenrir with Cloud sitting directly behind him. The blonde reached in front of him and started up the machine, feeling the Turk settle comfortably against his chest.

"Because."

"Because what?"

"Because I said so."

"... ...What are ya, five?!"

"_This _coming from _you_?"

"C'mon, Chocobo-Head, lemme give it a shot. Ya know I drive, I can fly a _helicopter _fer fuck's sake!"

"Sorry, can't do it."

"Even if I promised ta go the speed limit an' not get into an accident?"

"Still isn't going to happen, Reno. Just accept that."

"You suck, yo."

"Only for you," Cloud said, grinning as he started up his bike, quickly placing a soft kiss to the side of the redhead's neck. "So, are you going to give me directions while I steer?"

"How else'll we get there?" Reno said, smirking as he ran his fingers softly over the muscles in Cloud's arms, feeling how the blonde shuddered. "Head down this road, I'll tell ya when ta make a right turn, 'kay?"

"All right," Cloud said as he took off.

After following Reno's directions, the pair found themselves in a run-down section of town.

"Where are we?" Cloud asked, looking around.

"Take a left!" Reno said, sounding excited. "An' ya'll see where we are in a bit. ...Another left up there! ... ... ... Park over there, yo!"

"...'Choco's'?"

"Yeah! They make kick-ass fast food!"

"If you say so..."

"I do!" Reno said, grinning as the blonde behind him slowed the bike to a stop. As they both got off of the machine, the Turk began to sing. "There was a chocobo, who was blonde, an' Cloud was his name-o. C-L-O-U-D! C-L-O-U-D! C-L-O-U-D! An' Cloud was his name-o!"

"Reno!" Cloud hissed, blushing brightly, which made the Turk laugh.

"Lighten up, yo! We're here to relax an' eat!"

"You an be _so _embarrassing..."

Reno smirked, as if he knew something that the blonde did not.

"Aww, is my wittle Cwoudy-Puss shy?"

"Reno, shut up!"

"Don't worry, they're just bikers an' truckers!"

"Not helping..."

"But, Cloudy-Cakes, ya aren't embarrassed ta be out with me, are ya?" Reno asked, pouting pitifully at the blonde.

"No, it's not that..." Cloud said, sighing.

"Then let's go order!" Reno said, cheerfully, even though he was thinking of another way to embarrass the swordsman. "Ya know what ya should get? A Chocobo-Meal!"

"What? Aren't they for kids?"

"So?"

Cloud face burned a bright red as he his his face, hearing the others inside the dimly lit place snicker.

"Reno, shut up!"

"What? It comes with a chocobo toy! Ya could play with it in the bath!"

A series of laughter erupted from around the place, and Cloud groaned, throughly embarrassed.

"I'm leaving."

"C'mon yo! Stay with me!" Reno pouted, getting the blonde to sit down with him in a booth, but proud that he was able to make the blonde turn a bright red.

"Reno, you _so _owe me for this..." Cloud muttered, slouching in his seat.

The Turk just grinning triumphantly, knowing that he had just figured something out. Grabbing a napkin and a pen he found on the side of the table, he quickly wrote: "How to embarrass a blonde? -Treat him like a little kid in public. He'll try to run away while imitating a tomato! Very amusing."

"What can I get you two?" A deep voice said, getting their attention.

"The fuck?!" Reno practically shouted once he looked at the person, jumping in his seat as he looked up, stuffing the napkin into his pocket.

**End of Chapter Twenty Six  
**

Review for the next chapter. Would'ave updated last night, but I got caught in a Cascada cyclone...

Thanks fer reviewing:

**Maumse**: -_Laughs_-Chinese's good! But that depends, are ya ever in New England?

**carefreecat**: -_Snickers_-Good fer ya! Yeah, I was hopin' ya would think that. (I was thinkin' it, too!)

**nicotinegum**: -_Laughs_-Yup. Yeah, I thought of that; an' ya gave me an' idea fer this chapter!

**Bekas Strife**: -_Laughs hysterically_-.

**Cupcake-SweetTreats**: -_Laughs_-Yeah!

**Toon**: Yup! Ya'll see...

**Kaisha Shiori**: Yeah, been tryin' ta think of some questions... (Think I might add in a few blonde moments fer Cloud, I dunno.)

**D3OPH3ST**: -_Snickers_-He is!

**tala-fangirl**: Ain't he? Thanks, an' here ya go!

**LittleLoneLiar**: Aww, but it is cute! An' ya're fourteen? -_Laughs_-Ya prob'ly shouldn't be readin' this, sweetie. That's good! Good fer ya!

**StoicGenius**: Ya know what, I dunno! I always thought Cloud was older; he's so damn serious, an' Reno...ain't.

**JeanneAndHerAlters**: I don't think I've ever read that. (I'd like ta think I'd remember readin' somthin' with such an' amusin' title...) -_Laughs_-Yup! Thanks-_runs away with treat_-!


	27. Chapter 27

Title: Blondes

Disclaimer: If I owned this would I be here? C'mon people, think!

Setting: Pick one. I'm too lazy/wired to decide.

Summary: Are blondes really that dumb? How long can you answer a blonde's question with another question? Do blondes really have more fun? How quickly do they react when put in a strange situation? How quickly can you annoy a blonde to the point that they scream? What is foreplay for a blonde? How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? How do you confuse a blonde? How do you keep a blonde in suspense? Reno plans on finding out...with Cloud.

Warnings: Um…hmm. Think I've used them all before-_grins_-. Basically, anything I can think up. I'll just see there my mind takes this…could be anywhere-_grins_-. If you've read any of my other stories…you know what you're in for. If not, you'll see!

Side Notes:  
1) This story will have romance at the end…or very close to it.  
2) If you have any suggestions, feel free to send them in a review.  
3) Same goes for any ideas for future chapters...ideas, suggestions; they're different in my little world.  
4) Will end in smut…as some of you who have read my fics already know!!  
5) Each chapter will be a different question.  
6) My spelling sucks...Wordpad...again...  
7) Flames will not be tolerated-_glares evilly_-. This is your only warning.

**Chapter Twenty Seven: Share  
**

"Reno!" Cloud hissed, staring admonished at the Turk.

"What?" The deep voice replied as uninterested eyes looked blankly at the redhead.

"Nothing, right Reno?"

"Y-yeah, 's nothin, ma'am," Reno said, cringing as he looked at Cloud.

"Again: what can I get you two?" the woman said, staring blankly at the pair.

"I'll have a steak and he'll have a triple burger with bacon and cheese," Cloud answered, remembering what the Turk mentioned earlier.

"And drinks?"

"Uhh..."

"Somethin' fizzy!" Reno piped up, grinning.

"Coming up."

As soon as she walked away, the thin Turk began to shake with laughter as he looked at Cloud.

"Did you _see _her!" Reno practically shrieked, snickering.

"Shut up! She might hear you!" Cloud hissed, looking around the area, paranoid.

"Jesus, Cloudy! She sounded like she's been smokin' since _birth_! An' got dressin' tips from a lunch lady!"

"Keep smoking and _you _might turn up just like _her_."

"The hell I will! I'm too sexy to look like I belong in an apron an' hairnet, Cloudy-Cakes!"

"You never know..."

"The fuck I don't, yo!"

"Your drinks," the waitress said, placing two glasses down on the table before coughing loudly, making the Turk scoot away in disgust as he wiped at his arm.

"Say it don't spray it," Reno said, grimacing.

"Your food will be here soon. _You brat_."

"What was that?"

"What was what?"

"Why you-"

"Reno! I'm sorry miss, we'll let you get back to your other tables," Cloud cut in, resting his hand on the redhead's arm, keeping him from lunging at the woman, who was, admittedly, easily bigger than he was.

"Right," she drawled before walking away.

"Bitch," Reno snarled at her.

"You never got along with others as a kid, did you?" Cloud asked, smiling at the enraged Turk.

"...Yes?"

"Honestly, Reno?"

"Fine, I didn't. So what, yo?"

"Nothing."

"Yer tryin' ta say somethin', ain't ya?"

"Who, me? No, _never_."

"Yer an ass," Reno said, grinning at the smiling blonde sitting across from him.

"Here you go," the waitress cut in again, dropping the plates down on the table none too gently. "_I hope you choke on it._"

"Yeah, yeah. _At least I don't have a black mustache with **blonde **hair_!" Reno shouted back as she walked away.

"Reno!" Cloud said, shocked as he grinned.

"What?! Can't say she didn't ask for it. Hopin' I'll choke..."

"Well, you can't say that you didn't deserve it, Reno."

"Sure I can! Just watch me: I didn't deserve it. See? Easy!"

"Reno, just shut up and eat," the blonde replied smiling widely.

The Turk stuck his tongue out at the blonde before taking a large bite of his burger, and moaning in bliss. He noticed how the swordsman flushed at the sound he made while he cut his steak into smaller pieces. As Reno watched him cut into the meat, he quickly devised a plan. waiting until he was sure that he would be seen, the Turk reached over and stole a piece of Cloud's steak, popping it into his mouth while the blond watched.

"Reno!"

"What? Never had it 'fore," the redhead said, attempting to steal another piece, but just having Cloud smack his hand away.

"Why don't you order one, then. We can call the waitress over."

"Ha! Yeah, _that'll _go over well. Why can't ya just share?"

"Because _I _ordered this."

"C'mon, yo. Share with me."

"...What if I don't want to?"

"Ya were bad at sharin' as a kid, weren't ya?"

"...Shut up."

"Ya were!"

Reno grinned as he pulled out his napkin, keeping it under the table as he made a brief note on it: "Do blonde's like sharing? No...at least not steak."

"Hello," a new voice said, getting their attention.

"Hi?" Cloud said as they looked at the brunette woman standing in front of their table.

"That man over there," she said pointing to a man with dirty blonde hair and wearing a leather jacket and sunglasses. "Wanted to give you this." She then gave a bottle of foreign, expensive beer to Reno before walking away.

"Jeez," Reno muttered, turning over the bottle in his hand. "This shit costs a ton!"

Hearing a low growl, he looked over at Cloud, who was glaring at the man, who was looking at Reno.

"Ya okay, yo?"

"_Fine_."

"Dude, yer lookin' kinda stressed."

"I'm _fine_. Are you just about done eating?"

"Uhh...yeah?"

"Good. Waitress!"

With a loud sigh, the woman came back to their table.

"What now?"

"Can you bag this for us, we would like to leave."

"It'll be _my pleasure_," she said, sounding genuinely happy.

"Such a bitch!" Reno said, glaring at her as she walked away. As soon as she returned, Cloud took the bag and check, placing a large amount of gil on the table before standing up.

"Here, Reno," Cloud said, handing the bag to the Turk, who stood up also. Puzzled, the redhead took the bag as he followed the blonde, who began to walk towards the door. "...I'll be back." Before Reno could ask, the blonde hero turned and walked farther into the restaurant. The Turk watched as he approached the man who sent over the beer, tapping him on his shoulder. When the man turned to face him, the swordsman swung, punching him hard enough to knock him out of his seat. Gaping, the Turk watched at the blonde began to pummel the other man, having to be pulled off by others in the building.

"Jeez, Cloudy," Reno said once Cloud was standing next to him again, the both of them out of the restaurant, the blonde having been removed by force. "The fuck was that about?"

"...I don't like to share."

"He wasn't stealin' yer steak, though."

"You're unbelievably stupid, Reno."

"What?"

"Reno, I don't like to _share_."

"I don't- ...Awww! Yer such a romantic sap...kinda."

"Shut up."

The redhead grinned before leaning forward and kissing Cloud in the open parking lot.

"I love you, too, yo."

**End of Chapter Twenty Seven  
**

Review for the next chapter. Won't be able to update tomorrow: studyin' fer major AP tests that're comin' up. Oh, just so ya know: stone burners are good at removin' flesh. (Very painful, though. Don't try!)

Thanks fer reviewing:

**JeanneAndHerAlters**: -_Laughs hysterically_-Paranoia's fun! Wow, that's kinda long (considerin' how short most fics are nowadays...). -_Laughs_-Can I be RAINBOW STRESSED?

**Maumse**: Aww, I wouldn't forget ya, babe. Ya just happened ta review after (by like a minute or two) the other chapter was posted. -_Laughs_-Ain't it? I live far away from most. -_Snickers_-Close! It ain't a "deep voice scary man", though...

**carefreecat**: -_Laughs_-That's 'cause ya ain't suposed ta! Hmm...he could...

**tala-fangirl**: -_Laughs_-That's great!

**NicotineGum**: I bet it's option two! -_Grins_-Here's more.

**yumie-darkness123**: 'S all right. -Snickers-True. He's lucky that way. -_Twitches_-Sugar coma, here I come!

**D3OPH3ST**: -_Snickers_-That's...umm...interestin'? -_Grins_-Don't know what it is...other than odd. Oooh, gold stars!

**Bekas Strife**: -_Laughs hysterically_-Good one!

**LittleLoneLiar**: -_Laughs_-I know what that's like... (-_Grins_-Both the computer an' innocent part.)

**Kaisha Shiori**: -_Snickers_-Did ya _really _expect any less from me? Well, I wish ya the best.

**d0rkgoddess**: -_Grins_-Hmm...that can be done... (Prob'ly will too...in the nearby future mind ya.)


	28. Chapter 28

Title: Blondes

Disclaimer: If I owned this would I be here? C'mon people, think!

Setting: Pick one. I'm too lazy/wired to decide.

Summary: Are blondes really that dumb? How long can you answer a blonde's question with another question? Do blondes really have more fun? How quickly do they react when put in a strange situation? How quickly can you annoy a blonde to the point that they scream? What is foreplay for a blonde? How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? How do you confuse a blonde? How do you keep a blonde in suspense? Reno plans on finding out...with Cloud.

Warnings: Um…hmm. Think I've used them all before-_grins_-. Basically, anything I can think up. I'll just see there my mind takes this…could be anywhere-_grins_-. If you've read any of my other stories…you know what you're in for. If not, you'll see!

Side Notes:  
1) This story will have romance at the end…or very close to it.  
2) If you have any suggestions, feel free to send them in a review.  
3) Same goes for any ideas for future chapters...ideas, suggestions; they're different in my little world.  
4) Will end in smut…as some of you who have read my fics already know!!  
5) Each chapter will be a different question.  
6) My spelling sucks...Wordpad...again...  
7) Flames will not be tolerated-_glares evilly_-. This is your only warning.

**Chapter Twenty Eight: Frisky  
**

Cloud blushed brilliantly at the admission of love, as he looked at the Turk.

"Ya do realize that there's a good chance we might never be allowed back in there, right?" Reno asked, grinning slightly.

"Yeah," Cloud said as he led the redhead to his bike.

"Hey, Cloudy-Cakes?"

"Hmm?"

"Can I drive now?"

"No."

"Aww, c'mon, yo! Ya just punched out a guy 'cause he bought me a drink!"

"...So?"

"So ya obviously care fer me. Please?" Reno then pouted sweetly at the blonde, who flinched at the sight, trying to resist.

"...Fine."

Reno cheered, suddenly pressing himself firmly against the blonde. The Turk wrapped himself around Cloud, feeling how he stiffened, both in posture and in his pants, at the sudden contact.

"Thanks, Cloudy!" Reno said, cheerfully, kissing the blonde on the lips again. Once more, the blonde froze under the redhead's touch, though he quickly thawed out, wrapping his arms around the Turk and kissing him deeply, feeling how the thinner man moaned into his mouth.

While they kissed, Cloud hands frantically ran up and down the Turk's body, touching all that he could. Feeling the hands on him, Reno put more into the kiss, his own hands tightly grabbing at the blonde's back, pulling him in as close as he could. With their bodies pressed together the blonde took a step forward, making the Turk take one backwards.

Soon, the redhead found himself pressed against the cold metal to a dark green truck, Cloud grinding his hips into his own. Reno groaned into the blonde's mouth, tightening his hands into fists, hearing and feeling the handle to the paper bag he was holding crumple a bit. Moaning a bit more, he wrapped one of his legs around the swordsman's back, feeling the metal digging into his back while he was being pressed into the truck even more.

"Hey! Get away from my truck!" a voice yelled out, getting the pair to stop and turn towards the restaurant.

"S-sorry!" Cloud shouted in reply, pulling Reno away from the vehicle and across the parking lot to his bike, both of their faces bright red.

"Woo! That was f-fun, Cloudy!" Reno cheered as he watched the flustered blonde get onto his motorcycle. "We should do that again!"

"Well, let's get home first, come on," he said, patting the area in front of him.

The Turk grinned, but climbed on in front of the blonde, grabbing hold of the controls. Before he turned the key in the ignition though, strong arms looped around his waist, fingers gently rubbing his thighs as hot breath washed over his neck, causing the redhead to shiver.

"H-hey, we gotta go somewhere b-before home," Reno said, trying not to moan as the hands slipped farther up his thighs, getting loser to his groin.

"Really? Where's that?"

"Nngh...uuh...ph-phone...pl-place?"

"Phone place?" Cloud asked, grinning widely as he leaned even closer to Reno, who was beginning to tremble under his touches.

"Mm hm..."

"Where's that, Reno?" he asked, running his tongue against the Turk's neck, feeling how he shivered.

"A-are ya gonna d-do that the ent-entire time?" Reno whined, his hips bucking into the blonde's hands, which were rubbing the front of his pants, giving him an erection.

"Maybe..."

"I-I might c-crash if y-ya keep it up..."

"We aren't even moving, Reno."

"St-still!"

"Well, if we're going to get home soon," Cloud pured, nipping gently at the the Turk's earring. "We might want to get going."

"T-tease!"

Reno groaned, bucking once more when Cloud suddenly gripped his cock through his pants. He reached back and held onto the blonde's thighs, using them to keep himself still on the bike. The Turk could clearly hear the soft chuckles coming from the blonde as he stroked him through his clothes.

"You know you like it," Cloud purred before he began to suck on the redhead's neck, wanting to leave a mark in plain sight.

"Th-that's it, y-yo! 'M b-buyin' ya m-more chocobo st-steaks!" Reno nearly shouted, his voice cracking as the grip around him tightened. "...Y-ya m-mind lettin' g-go?"

"Yes, I do."

"F-fucker!"

"Mmm, I like that suggestion."

"H-horny fucker!"

"What do you say we skip the 'phone store' and go home?"

"Nngh...I n-need a ph-phone, th-though... J-Jeez Cl-Cloudy, ya...ya might w-wanna c-cool it."

"Why?" Cloud purred, grinning widely. "Aren't ya having fun?"

"Hey! Queers!" a shout rang out, making the blonde growl while the Turk groaned. "Go home, already! No one wants to see that!"

"Fuck o-off!" Reno snapped, attempting to turn to glare at the man, but getting stopped by Cloud.

"Should I take care of it?" Cloud asked, ignoring the shouts from the man.

"Hey! I'm talkin' to you too, Blondie!" the voice returned, making Cloud snarl darkly.

"I'll take care of this!"

"W-wait yo! Lemme-"

"Wait here," Cloud said, his voice sounding a bit too sweet for the moment. He swiftly kissed the redhead on the lips before getting up, smirking a bit at the sudden groan from Reno. "You had something you want to say to me?" he asked the man, walking towards him.

**End of Chapter Twenty Eight  
**

Review for the next chapter. I think the last chapter had ta be one of my favorites, even though I finished it like two minutes 'fore I posted it. Sorry fer the wait.

Thanks fer reviewing:

**JeanneAndHerAlters**: -_Laughs hysterically_-That was great! (I actually had to reread it a few times 'cause it was so awesome!) Yay! A chibi-chocobo fer chibi-Cloud to take cake of, an' a treat fer me!

**NicotineGum**: -_Laughs_-He is! -_Grins pervly_-Ooh, forced inta things? That sounds promisin'! Hmm...Cloud's meanin' of love...that can be tested! ...I love gettin' idea from reviews!

**tala-fangirl**: -_Grins_-He is! I think all us blondes are.

**Bekas Strife**:-_Laughs_-'S Reno not playin' nice? 'Cause ya know he'd be the one in the dress! -_Hums 'Here Comes the Bride'_-.

**Toons**: Thanks!

**Maumse**: -_Laughs_-I don't even KNOW my neighbors! -_Snickers_-Don't worry, I ain't gonna sue ya, way too much effort, same goes fer huntin' ya down! Yup! Finished it 'fore I started this chapter! Ya're special, sweetie (an' I don't mean that in a special-ed kinda way)! Have fun with yer anger! Ooh, profane profanity!

**d0rkgoddess**: -_Grins pervly_-Well, what else would dear ol' Cloudy-cakes do with his empty, unused hands? Gotta do somethin'..._productive_!

**carefreecat**: -_Laughs_-We do! -_Grins_-I ain't that partial to sharin'. Yay! 'S rainin' cookies!

**VampireChildofDarkness**: Thanks! Hope ya did well, sweetie. Thanks, 'm gonna need all the luck I can get!

**LittleLoneLiar**: Good fer ya! -_Grins_-An' thanks fer puttin' the date, 'cause I kinda forgot what day it was (Blonde!). -_Laughs_-Have fun!

**D3OPH3ST**: Yay! More gold stars! -_Snickers_-Don't we all?

**CupCake-SweetTreats**: 'S all right, sweetie! Thanks! An' here ya go!

**ringbearingreasergal**: -_Smiles widely_-Aww, thanks, sweetheart! -_Snickers_-Have fun with it! (I usually try to sleep through it!) Here ya go!

**Mako Blue**: -_Laughs_-Uhh, between sleep, tv, an' not doin' my work as quickly as I should!


	29. Chapter 29

Title: Blondes

Disclaimer: If I owned this would I be here? C'mon people, think!

Setting: Pick one. I'm too lazy/wired to decide.

Summary: Are blondes really that dumb? How long can you answer a blonde's question with another question? Do blondes really have more fun? How quickly do they react when put in a strange situation? How quickly can you annoy a blonde to the point that they scream? What is foreplay for a blonde? How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? How do you confuse a blonde? How do you keep a blonde in suspense? Reno plans on finding out...with Cloud.

Warnings: Um…hmm. Think I've used them all before-_grins_-. Basically, anything I can think up. I'll just see there my mind takes this…could be anywhere-_grins_-. If you've read any of my other stories…you know what you're in for. If not, you'll see!

Side Notes:  
1) This story will have romance at the end…or very close to it.  
2) If you have any suggestions, feel free to send them in a review.  
3) Same goes for any ideas for future chapters...ideas, suggestions; they're different in my little world.  
4) Will end in smut…as some of you who have read my fics already know!!  
5) Each chapter will be a different question.  
6) My spelling sucks...Wordpad...again...  
7) Flames will not be tolerated-_glares evilly_-. This is your only warning.

**Chapter Twenty Nine: Confess  
**

"W-woah, woah, woah!" Reno nearly shouted, scrambling off of the motorcycle, which he found very difficult to do with a raging hard on in his pants. He hurried over to Cloud, who was making his way to the other man. "H-hang on, Cloudy!"

"Yeah, listen to you're boy-toy!" the man shouted, making Cloud growl darkly.

"Hey, watch it, bud!"

"Make me, Red!"

"Argh! What's with people callin' me _Red_?!"

"Reno," Cloud said, turning back towards the redheaded Turk, grinning slightly.

"Yeah?"

"Go back to Fenrir."

"Ain't happenin'! If yer gonna fuck this guy up, I wanna help!"

"...It'll be just like old times..." Cloud said, grinning.

"...Ya ain't gonna stab me, right?"

"No, Reno. I wouldn't stab you... Besides my sword's at your apartment."

"...So, bare knuckle today?" Reno asked cracking his fingers as he looked at the man.

"Unless you can pull a weapon out of your ass, bare-knuckle it is."

"Like I'm just gonna let a couple 'a fairies kick my ass?!" The man snapped, glaring at the couple.

"Hey!" Reno yelled back. "These fairies 're 'bout ta fuck ya up!"

"...We prefer not to be called 'fairies'," Cloud growled, glaring darkly at the man as he and the redheaded Turk took another step forward. As they slowly advanced on the man, the pair noticed just how nervous and riled up he was starting to become.

"Jackie!" a deeper voice yelled out, getting all three of the men's attention. "Get yer ass in here or we're gonna eat yer fries!"

"Jackie?!" Reno shouted, laughing hysterically. "Ya call us gay an' yer name's JACKIE?! What's yer last name: Cupcake?! Unicorn?! Sparkles?!"

Listening to Reno's laughter and exclamations, Cloud could not help but chuckle. They watched how the man's face turned a dark red.

"This ain't over! If I ever see you two 'round again, I'll kick yer ass!" He said before storming back into the restaurant.

"Sure thin' JACKIE!!" Reno yelled, getting the other man to flip him off as he entered the building. The Turk turned to face the blonde, snickering as he bit down on his bottom lip. Cloud was doing the same thing as he wrapped his arm around the redhead's waist.

"I kind of feel bad for him," the blonde mumbled before they burst out in laughter, clinging to one another to remain standing.

"I don't! Makes him seem like the sissy he is!"

Suddenly, Reno paused, a mischievous grin spreading across his ace as he looked towards the blonde.

"...What?" Cloud asked, knowing that any time the redhead got that look on his face something bad was about to happen, and it could prove to be scarring, whether mentally of physically, only time could tell.

"Hey, Cloudy," he drawled out, running a finger slowly down the swordsman's chest, his grin growing even more. "I got a question I wanna find the answer to..."

"A question?"

Cloud looked around, quickly wondering what could possibly happen from a simple question.

"Yeah, just..._one _question."

"Which is...?"

"How much of a sissy are ya?" Reno asked, grinning as wide as he possibly could.

"What?!"

"Should I repeat it?"

"No! ...But- What do you mean by 'sissy'?!"

"Ya know, do ya sniff flowers, like rainbows an' fluffy stuff?"

"What?! No!"

"Well, I think ya 're hidin' somethin', yo."

Cloud blushed greatly as he looked Reno in the eyes, cringing as he felt that somehow the Turk could see into his very thoughts.

"Wh-what does it matter anyway?"

"Eh, it doesn't. But we shouldn't keep secrets, right?"

"...Right..."

"So, gonna tell me? Please?" Reno pouted, hoping that he could get the blonde to open up to him.

"...Fine. But mention this to anyone and I'll deny it! ...I...like...fluffy kittens..." The Turk bit down on his lip hard, stifling laughter. "...Go ahead...laugh."

Given permission, the redhead instantly started to laugh, making Cloud smile slightly.

"Kittens, yo?!"

"Yeah... What about you?"

"I got a soft spot fer..." Reno said, drawing it out as he grinned. "Blondes who like kittens."

Cloud smiled greatly as he hugged Reno tightly, unknowing of what the Turk had just done. Reno smiled also, happy for himself; getting Cloud to admit something personal to him. Now that he had figured out how to crack the blonde, he had to remember to write it down: "How do you get a blonde to open up? Smile prettily and flirt a bit, make sure to look cute and pout!"

"Hey Reno?"

"Yeah?"

"Am I the only blonde you know who likes kittens?"

**End of Chapter Twenty Nine  
**

Review for the next chapter. Sorry fer the wait, had testin' an' had to draw a RenoCloud pic real quick.

Thanks fer reviewing:

**Bekas Strife**: -_Laughs hysterically_-Now _that's _somethin' ta watch! Cheer, Reno! Cheer!

**D3OPH3ST**: -_Laughs_-Of course!

**Toons**: Yup, cliffhangers're what I do!

**Maumse**: Of course! Good luck with that!

**d0rkgoddess**: Yup!

**VampireChildofDarkness**: I hope so, too.

**carefreecat**: -_Laughs_-Yup! Thanks!

**yumie-darkness123**: 'S all right. But brownies're always good! Oooh, an' cookies, too! Ya'll're too good ta me.

**tala-fangirl**: -_Laughs_-He is! ...Think it might be a blonde thing, I dunno (Not a ton of natural blondes anymore...least not where i live.).

**NicotineGum**: -_Laughs_-True! An' that's another idea fer me! Yeah, he's good at that!

**JeanneAndHerAlters**: -_Grins_-I'll prob'ly check it out next weekend (once I'm done with AP testin'). But yay fer self-promotion! -_Laughs_-that'll do it! Yay! More chibis!

**Kaisha Shiori**: -_Laughs_-.

**Lemon Wine**: -_Smiles_-.

**Stoic Genius**: -_Grins_-Yup! Prob'ly not!

**twice-as-evil-as-you121212**: -_Laughs_-Nah! Ain't a redhead, or a dude. 'M jus' a strange teenager from New England. Aww, thanks! Hmmm, whatever I can think of basically; 's usually how these go... -_Snickers_-He will, I've still got a few tricks up my sleeve! -_Grins_-Well, that'll be answered...eventually (I got a plan; half-assed an' insane, but a plan!).

**LittleLoneLiar**: Aww, well...hope ya sleep well? -_Grins_-I dunno how ta respond ta that! Sorry?

**Favrite of Chaos**: Yay! Glad ya like it!


	30. Chapter 30

Title: Blondes

Disclaimer: If I owned this would I be here? C'mon people, think!

Setting: Pick one. I'm too lazy/wired to decide.

Summary: Are blondes really that dumb? How long can you answer a blonde's question with another question? Do blondes really have more fun? How quickly do they react when put in a strange situation? How quickly can you annoy a blonde to the point that they scream? What is foreplay for a blonde? How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? How do you confuse a blonde? How do you keep a blonde in suspense? Reno plans on finding out...with Cloud.

Warnings: Um…hmm. Think I've used them all before-_grins_-. Basically, anything I can think up. I'll just see there my mind takes this…could be anywhere-_grins_-. If you've read any of my other stories…you know what you're in for. If not, you'll see!

Side Notes:  
1) This story will have romance at the end…or very close to it.  
2) If you have any suggestions, feel free to send them in a review.  
3) Same goes for any ideas for future chapters...ideas, suggestions; they're different in my little world.  
4) Will end in smut…as some of you who have read my fics already know!!  
5) Each chapter will be a different question.  
6) My spelling sucks...Wordpad...again...  
7) Flames will not be tolerated-_glares evilly_-. This is your only warning.

**Chapter Thirty: Manipulate  
**

"Uhh..." Reno said, instantly drawing a blank.

"I'm not? Who is he?" Cloud asked instantly, his breathing quickening.

"C-calm down, yo! Yer face just turned all red!" the Turk said, grabbing a hold of the blonde's face. "Yer gonna have a heart attack soon if ya keep it up!"

"Please, Reno, who is he?" the man practically begged, his heart aching every second as he waited for a response.

"Well, 'Lena like kittens...but I think it's more of a chick-thing than a blonde-thing... ... ...I think..." Cloud let out a sigh of relief. "An' I doubt that Cid, the ever-lovin', _fun _guy that he is, could even be in a room with anythin remotely furry or cute! Rufus, though..."

"Rufus?! ...I'll kill him!" Cloud growled, his eyes narrowing dangerously, making Reno wince at the fury in his eyes.

"Woah! Calm down, Cloudy!" the Turk said, grabbing a hold of the blonde's waist as he tried to storm towards his bike, in what Reno believed would cause the death of the blonde leader of Shinra. "I don't like him like that! Jeez!"

"But you-"

"I said he likes kittens...in a kinda creepy way... but I didn't say that _I _like _him_, yo. Ya gotta trust me on this!"

Cloud paused, sighing loudly.

"I trust you, Reno. ...But you suck at answering questions, you know that, right?"

"Do now! ...So...ya okay?"

"I'm fine, Reno, now, didn't you say we have somewhere to go?"

"Yup!" the Turk said, smiling widely. "We're gonna get me a new phone, yo!"

"...Do you really need it right now?" Cloud whined as the redhead pulled him to the bike by his wrist, still smiling.

"Yup! Lost mine...in the fields, I think..." the blonde nodded, as he got onto Fenrir behind Reno, licking his lips before gently kissing th thinner man's neck. "Tease," he moaned, shifting a bit as the blonde wrapped his arms around the Turk's waist, rubbing the skin sensually as he did so.

"Thinking about heading home instead?" he purred, pressing his body firmly against the redhead's. "I'll make it worth your while. Promise."

"Nngh," Reno moaned, arching when the blonde swordsman softly bit his neck, fingers dipping into his pants. "We-nnnhhh...we gotta...gotta... ... ...Fuck, yo..." He began to pant as he tightly gripped the handle to the motorcycle. "Ya a-ain't..."

"Come on, Reno," Cloud purred, his voice lowering even more as he spoke directly into the redheaded Turk's ear. "Let's go back to your place." Reno found himself nodding dumbly before speeding down the road. Every so often, when the blonde hero would rub up against him, grinding into him softly, the Turk would falter a bit, making the bike swerve on the road.

After a while of doing this, and accidentally scraping the bike against a fence, scraping the paint, Reno pulled into his parking lot. Eagerly shutting off the machine, the redhead grabbed a hold of the hero and ran as quickly as he could for his room, the blonde easily keeping pace. He quickly unlocked his door, and was sure that if he was a bit less aroused, he would have realized that the door was actually attached. Instead, he pulled the man into his bedroom, roughly kissing him as they landed in a heap onto his mattress.

After kissing for a while, the pair began to strip one another, clutching at the other heatedly. In the middle of this, reno paused, wondering how the blonde had managed to get him to change his mind. Realizing the blonde's new attribute, he grinned, figuring out an answer t a question he had never thought of: How manipulative are blondes? The answer: very!

Reno then growled softly as he was flipped onto his back, Cloud settled comfortably between his spread legs. "What's wrong?" the blonde asked, sounding smug as he ground his hips forward. "Don't you like being helpless? Like being at my mercy? ..._Love taking in all the cock I can give_?" The Turk grinned hotly at him, licking his lips ostentatiously before he opened his mouth to respond.

**End of Chapter Thirty  
**

Review for the next chapter. Sorry fer the wait, tons a stuff's goin' on an' I'm really hatin' my allergies (food kinds included)! Short, I know. But hey, new chapter's smut! ...Unless ya'll don't want it?

Thanks fer reviewing:

**Bekas Strife**: -_Laughs_-He'll...give it his best...kinda. Aww, but doesn't he?

**carefreecat**: Same here (ta the kittens 'n' cookies)! Yay fer cookies! -_Snickers_-He'd prob'ly faint!

**Favrite of Chaos**: Yup! Mmm...chocolate chip...

**yumie-darkness123**: -_Smiles_-'S all right! 'N' thanks!

**VampireChildofDarkness**: Thanks!

**tala-fangirl**: Ain't it?

**twice-as-evil-as-you121212**: -_Laughs_-Let's test that out! ...That I can do, also! ..An' that, too! Thanks fer the ideas, sweetie!

**Kaisha Shiori**: -_Laughs_-I haven't! ...Though I have heard of guys named Ashley...

**Toons**: -_Snickers_-Sorry? -_Laughs_-Can't ya?!

**JeanneAndHerAlters**: -_Laughs hysterically_-That's great! Yup! ...Know what that's like! -_Smiles widely_-Yay fer gifts!

**D3OPH3ST**: -_Laughs_-I'll bet!

**Maumse**: Of course! -_Laughs_-Well, I wish ya the best of luck, an' the best exterminator!

**BeckyHerself**: Thanks, sweetie!

**leslie**: -_Laughs_-True! But I didn't think of that.


	31. Chapter 31

Title: Blondes

Disclaimer: If I owned this would I be here? C'mon people, think!

Setting: Pick one. I'm too lazy/wired to decide.

Summary: Are blondes really that dumb? How long can you answer a blonde's question with another question? Do blondes really have more fun? How quickly do they react when put in a strange situation? How quickly can you annoy a blonde to the point that they scream? What is foreplay for a blonde? How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? How do you confuse a blonde? How do you keep a blonde in suspense? Reno plans on finding out...with Cloud.

Warnings: Um…hmm. Think I've used them all before-_grins_-. Basically, anything I can think up. I'll just see there my mind takes this…could be anywhere-_grins_-. If you've read any of my other stories…you know what you're in for. If not, you'll see!

Side Notes:  
1) This story will have romance at the end…or very close to it.  
2) If you have any suggestions, feel free to send them in a review.  
3) Same goes for any ideas for future chapters...ideas, suggestions; they're different in my little world.  
4) Will end in smut…as some of you who have read my fics already know!!  
5) Each chapter will be a different question.  
6) My spelling sucks...Wordpad...again...  
7) Flames will not be tolerated-_glares evilly_-. This is your only warning.

**Chapter Thirty One: Dirty  
**

"Ya know just how much I love yer cock, yo," the redhead moaned, licking his lips once more as he ran his finger through the blonde's hair. "It's so..._filling_." Cloud grinned lustfully at the Turk, who draped one of his legs around the small of the blonde's back, pressing their hips even closer together.

"Glad to hear it," Cloud growled softly, grinning wolfishly at the Turk. "Now, let's get you out of those pants."

Reno smirked before quickly flipping them over, holding the blonde's wrists against the pillow, knowing that he could easily break out of the hold at any time. "Let's shake things up, Cloud," the redhead suggested, smirking even more.

"...How so?" he asked, feeling how the thinner man slowly began to shift his hips, slowly torturing him with soft grinding. Reno quickly leaned down, his lips grazing against the blonde's ear, his hot breath making the man shiver.

"'M gonna ride ya hard," the Turk practically moaned, making Cloud shudder in anticipation. "Do ya agree?" The blonde eagerly nodded, making the redhead grin. "Good." Reno continued to rock their hips together, the both reveling in the hot friction that the rough pressure and thick fabric caused. the Turk roughly pressed his lips into the blonde's, forcing his tongue into his mouth as he dominated the kiss and ran his fingers over the swordsman's chest.

"Hope we ain't interruptin' nothin, Spikey!" a voice called out, instantly getting the pair to stop and look in the direction of the voice.

"What's it take ta get rid of ya?!" Reno groaned, burying his head into Cloud chest. "Jus' go 'way, yo!"

"I told you Chief," Vincent said, sounding quite smug. "So, pay up." Hearing this, Reno looked up just in time to see the blonde pilot hand the gunner a large handful of gil. "Thank you."

"Yeah, yeah, Vince," Cid said, smirking. "You'll get the _rest _once we're back in our room," he added with a wink.

"SICK!" Reno cried out, burying his head in the blonde's chest against, noticing how the skin had flushed. "Why won't ya _leave_?!" he hissed into the blonde's chest.

"Well, we wanted to surprise you," Tifa said, pouting softly even though he was blushing.

"So, **_surprise_**, Princess!" Cid said, grinning widely even as a pillow was whipped at his head. "Don't think he likes it, Vince."

"Most likely not," the gunner said, ignoring how Yuffie bounced about him and the room, snickering to herself. "How would you feel if a group of people ran into the room while you were about to have sex?"

"...Ya make it sound so _dirty_," the blonde replied, smirking at him before smacking the ex-Turk's ass, making the taller man jump a bit. "I like it."

"Can we leave now, Tifa?" Barret begged, keeping his eyes anywhere but on the pair lying on the bed. "They've already noticed that the door's fixed."

"But I brought a cake!" the bartender whined, before looking at Cloud and how embarrassed he looked, while holding the redhead, who was trying to bury into his skin to hide, closer to his body. "I guess we'll leave it on the counter for you two."

"We'll send ya a fuckin' 'thank ya' note! Ya happy?!" Reno growled, tightly holding onto the blonde under him. "**_Now _**can ya go away?!"

"No need ta get pissy, Turkey!" Yuffie said, sticking her tongue out at the Turk, who, without even looking at her, flipped her off. "Why you-"

"Yuffie, let's go," Tifa said, smiling as she pulled the fuming ninja out of the room. The rest followed their lead, some happier than others. "See you later, Cloud!"

"Yeah! See ya, Kid!" Cid shouted, waving as he left after Vincent, his eyes remaining on the swishing cape as he followed the brunette out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him.

After a few minutes of silence, Reno shifted, looking up at the blonde that he had curled around. "I know I've said it b'fore, but I _really _hate yer friends." Cloud just shrugged before he softly kissed the top of the redhead's head.

"So, is the mood a total loss? Or should we give it another try?" the blonde leader of Avalanche asked, licking his lips as he smiled meekly at the Turk. Looking the blonde in the eyes, he grinned happily.

"When have I been known to give up?" he said, kissing Cloud firmly on the lips.

"...During every fight we've had?" the swordsman answered, making the Turk huff.

"Do not!"

"You always ran away!"

"Oh! ...I did no such thing!"

"You're such a liar!" Cloud said laughing as Reno turned a bright red.

"An' yer such a fucker!" he retorted, sticking out his tongue playfully.

"You know it," the blonde relied, bucking his hips up, distracting the redhead before he quickly latched onto the tongue that was still sticking out of the thinner man's mouth, sucking the flesh and eliciting a low moan from him. Deciding to join in the kiss, Reno slid his tongue farther into the blonde's mouth, eagerly kissing him back as his hands were used to fumble with the front of the swordsman's pants, feeling the moan more than hearing it.

When the kiss ended, and both of them were panting, Reno had undone the blonde's pants and was trying to pull them off without getting off of the man or making him move.

"Do you still plan on riding me?" Cloud asked, grinning happily at the redhead as he reached over to cup his hips, his fingers rubbing against his ass through the material of his pants.

"Mmm, as hard as I can, yo," Reno moaned, feeling Cloud lift his hips just high enough for him to remove his pants and boxers. Once he was completely naked, the blonde began to tug on the edge to his pants.

"Do you plan on doing it with your pants on?" he asked, grinning as he slowly rocked his hips into the Turk, grinding against him.

"As fun as that seems, no," Reno said, squirming out of his pants while staying on top of the blonde. "I never knew ya ta be so frisky, though, Cloud," he moaned as he rocked cock against the swordsman's, the both of them moaning at the friction.

"I just _love _fucking you senseless," Cloud groaned, winking at the Turk.

"Keep sweet-talkin' me, babe."

Cloud smirked as he reached up, his fingers threading through the thinner man's pony tail before he gripped it and tugged him down so their faces were almost touching.

"I want you to ride me so hard, you won't be able to walk tomorrow," he moaned, watching how Reno's usually bright eyes darkened even more. "I want to fill you with so much cum, it drips down your thighs." A soft moan cam from the Turk, who gently stroke his own cock while grinding his ass against the blonde's cock. "Afterwards, I want you to suck me so hard, the only thing you can taste is _me _for the rest of the day, even after you brush your teeth. I also want to fuck you in every room and on every piece of furniture in this apartment."

"...That' _so _fuckin' arousin', Cloud," Reno moaned before roughly kissing the blonde, happy that he was able to get the taciturn man to speak dirty to him. "Let's get started, yo," he growled, guessing that the blonde liked speaking dirty before he reached down and grabbed a hold of the man's cock. "You gonna get the lube, or are we gonna skip ta the part where I suck ya dry then use my spit as lube?"

**End of Chapter Thirty One  
**

Review for the next chapter. Ya know what I've realized? This fic's 'bout three times longer than I thought it'd be...

Thanks fer reviewing:

**yumie-darkness123**: -_Laughs_-Yeah, saw it on the news! Thanks! Yay pancakes...with chocolate chips, too! Ya're too kind!

**Favrite of Chaos**: Thanks! Here ya go!

**Toons**: -_Laughs_-Yup! I think so, too! -_Laughs_-Well, ya never know! People might be against it...somewhere...someone...I think... True. Though, I think I have a Reno fic without smut yet...yeah I do! -_Grins_-Yeah, 'm allergic ta pollen, good thin' considerin' how I live in New England, no? True! But I recently found out 'm allergic ta coconut...'s very annoyin', too. ...The reaction, mind ya.

**twice-as-evil-as-you121212**: Yeah, FF went down that night, I know, 'casue it pissed me off. -_Laughs_-Yeah, I think I do that ta a lot a people. -Grins-Yeah, there's prob'ly a chance that liquor'll be involved...

**carefreecat**: -_Laughs_-It deserves ta be _completely _capitalized! SMUT! Smut, smut, smut-smut-smut, smut, smut smut! -_Snickers_-'S fun ta say! O.o I like that idea! Le's roll with it!

**1**: Thanks, sweetie! -_Snickers_-Yes, _mom_. -_Laughs_-'S 'at even possible?!

**Maumse**: -_Laughs_-Good fer ya! -_Laughs hysterically_-I believe it, honey bun! Thanks! EXACTLY!

**VampireChildofDarkness**: -_Laughs_-Yup! An' if I wasn't so poor, I'd buy it, too!

**Kaisha Shiori**: -_Laughs hysterically_-Glad ya found it funny! Hmm...Vince's right, Reno's a pushover...but the submissive part...let's find out!

**NicotineGum**: -_Grins_-Yeah!

**Bekas Strife**: -_Laughs_-Well, ya never know! Someone might not want it... -_Snickers_-True... They DO have a lotta sexual frustration...

**Stoic-Genius**: -_Laughs_-**_That _**kinda math I like! Along with Reno + Cloud steamy, hot fun! Here ya go!

**tala-fangirl**: Who doesn't? Then again, 'm one m'self, so 'm a bit biased...

**Mako Blue**: -_Laughs_-Thanks! I thought so, too!


	32. Chapter 32

Title: Blondes

Disclaimer: If I owned this would I be here? C'mon people, think!

Setting: Pick one. I'm too lazy/wired to decide.

Summary: Are blondes really that dumb? How long can you answer a blonde's question with another question? Do blondes really have more fun? How quickly do they react when put in a strange situation? How quickly can you annoy a blonde to the point that they scream? What is foreplay for a blonde? How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? How do you confuse a blonde? How do you keep a blonde in suspense? Reno plans on finding out...with Cloud.

Warnings: Um…hmm. Think I've used them all before-_grins_-. Basically, anything I can think up. I'll just see there my mind takes this…could be anywhere-_grins_-. If you've read any of my other stories…you know what you're in for. If not, you'll see!

Side Notes:  
1) This story will have romance at the end…or very close to it.  
2) If you have any suggestions, feel free to send them in a review.  
3) Same goes for any ideas for future chapters...ideas, suggestions; they're different in my little world.  
4) Will end in smut…as some of you who have read my fics already know!!  
5) Each chapter will be a different question.  
6) My spelling sucks...Wordpad...again...  
7) Flames will not be tolerated-_glares evilly_-. This is your only warning.

**Chapter Thirty Two: Landing  
**

"Let's skip ahead," Cloud grinned, slowly rocking his hips into the redhead's hand. " Then we'll move on to another section of your apartment." Reno smirked as he licked his lips, leaning down so his mouth was brushing against the blonde's.

"I vote fer the kitchen table," he moaned, breathing hotly against his lips. "Then we can have some cake at the same time," he said before pressing their lips together, cutting off anything the Cloud was going to say. The blonde groaned softly a he tightened his grip around the Turk's hair, pressing their mouths together even harsher, his back arching as even more skin touched. Reno moaned loudly into the kiss as he held on to the blonde swordsman's shoulders.

When the kiss was broken, Reno grinned widely and slowly slid down the muscled chest, his eyes locked onto the glowing, Mako ones. "Gonna fuck my mouth, babe?" Reno purred once he had the straining cock before his face, watching how he nibbled on his bottom lip in anticipation. The Turk smiled up at him before breathing against the dripping head, making the blonde shudder. Cloud shifted a bit, letting the redhead know just how impatient he was feeling. Giving in, the redheaded Turk slowly, but firmly licked the flushed head, watching how the hero's eyes rolled into the back of his head as his hips bucked, trying to get more of the feeling that the heated touch brought.

Surrendering to the blonde's will, Reno swallowed the head to his cock, making sure that he held down the blonde's waists, keeping him from thrusting down his throat before he was prepared for it. The Turk moaned around the flesh as he slid down the entire length, feeling how the thick, heated organ throbbed in his mouth. He bobbed up and down the length a few times, feeling how the blonde's fingers threaded through his hair before tightly gripping it. He moaned at the hold before letting go of Cloud's hips, noticing how the hero pressed him farther down on his cock, groaning loudly as he thrust up also, forcing himself into the wet heat even more.

Reno moaned around the flesh, feeling how Cloud shuddered while thrusting himself in and out of the redhead's mouth, biting his bottom lip as he struggled to keep silent. The redhead, on the other hand, had not problems with trying to keep quiet, he was trying to be as loud as possible, knowing that any sound that he made pleased the blonde due to the vibrations along his cock. He reached over and tightly held onto the sheets to his bed, his hands clutching the fabric right next to the blonde's head; one hand on each side.

The Turk moaned around the flesh, making Cloud do the same as he continued to force the redhead farther onto his cock, a tight heat growing and tightening inside of him as he did so. The blonde groaned, trying to relay to the Turk that he was getting closer to coming, but he was not able to form the words. Reno just hummed playfully, knowing what he was trying to say ad wanting him to lose his control as quickly as possible. Feeling the vibrations, the swordsman groaned and thrust more erratically, before shouting out the Turk's name, coming in his mouth.

Reno groaned as he felt the hot liquid spurt onto the back of his tongue and slowly drip down his throat. He roughly sucked on the flesh, feeling it begin to stiffen before he let it fall from his lips. He looked up at Cloud, who was flushed and breathless before climbing off of the bed and helping Cloud to his feet. He eagerly sprinted to his dining table, pulling the blonde with him.

Once they were near the table, Reno pushed Cloud down on top of it, making sure that the blonde hero did not land on top of the white, frosted cake that was resting on it. When the swordsman was lying on hi back, Reno hurried onto the table, straddling the blonde before firmly kissing him.

When they parted for air, the Turk nibbled on his ear before muttereing, "Should we have the cake now or after I ride you senseless?"

"Senseless," Cloud groaned, feeling how the blood pulsed behind his ears as Reno nipped and sucked at his neck. "Nngh, _definitely _senseless."

Reno chuckled as he began to stroke the blonde, working him up until he was hard enough for his liking. Once he reached that stage, the Turk firmly grasped his wet, dripping cock and slowly slid it into himself, groaning as he was stretched open. Almost immediately, he rose his hips before slamming them bacck down, making the table tremble under the force of their actions.

Cloud reached up and grabbed a hold of the redhead's waist, tightly holding on as he helped the man rise and helped force him down, cause the table to shake even more as the ferocity of the thrusts increased. Reno threw his head back, panting and moaning loudly as he shifted his hips, hoping to find the one area that he knew would cause him to see white. When he angled his hips just right, the Turk screamed out in pleasure, his body tightening around Cloud as he tensed in bliss, his body wanting more.

The couple continued to buck against each other, forcing Cloud in deeper and harder as they growled and screamed out in pleasure, sweating profusely as they tried to achieve euphoria. Reno knew that they were getting closer as the room grew hotter and and the blonde swordsman tightly gripped his cock, stroking him fiercely in time with his thrusts.

Eventually, he decided that Reno had had enough control and flipped them over, wanting to have more control so he could make Reno cry out as he came. Unfortunately, Cloud had misjudged how large the table was in his haz and ended up rolling off of the table, landing on his back, knocking the air out of him and his Turk simultaneously. They stopped moving as they struggled to breathe, and the blonde paused even more once he heard him laughing.

"...What's...so funny?" Cloud practically wheezed.

"I found somethin' out..." Reno panted, laughing some more.

"What's...that?"

"...Ya aint very cat-like, yo..."

"...What?"

"Ya land on yer back, 'stead of yer feet," he said figuring out another question about blondes: "How cat-like are they?" Answer: "Unsure, but so far, not very (ungraceful landing from a drop of three-or-so feet high)."

"...I don't care... Let's finish up here, all right?"

**End of Chapter Thirty Two  
**

Review for the next chapter. Short I know. Ya can bitch if ya want, I don't really care 'cause 'm gonna go ta bed now.

Thanks fer reviewing:

**carefreecat**: -_Laughs_-YEAH! He's fun that way! -_Twitches_-T-triple-fudge cookies? Yer too good fer me! Now, I must update!

**d0rkgoddess**: Ain't weird at all! -_Laughs_-'S strange how alike we think! But maybe we should include the cake, too?

**tala-fangirl**: -_Laughs_-Of course! ('S kinda what I do! ...Well, another thin' that I do.)

**D3OPH3ST**: Thanks! -_Grins happily_-Ain't he?

**NicotineGum**: -_Laughs_-Yup! Might be a blonde thin'! -_Grins_-Good pun! An' I like ta have the start as good as the finish.

**Bekas Strife**: -_Snickers_-Nah, just torture ya with a lack of smut! Here ya go...an' damn them cute eyes! 'M a sucker fer cuteness... (Like Reno...he's cute!)

**Toons**: -_Laughs_-Are ya blonde? 'Cause that's almost the exact storyline ta my RenoVince fic! (Not coconut, though!) Oohh, but we can do a similar idea! Look out Cloudy-Cakes!

**Kaisha Shiori**: -_Snickers_-Apparently not! Aww, poor baby. Fer yer pain, I give ya lemons! (To enjoy, not use on the wound!) -_Giggles_-True, Vince does have more manners...

**yumie-darkness123**: -Laughs-Well, wouldn't it do the same ta ya? Thanks! Yay! PIE!

**Maumse**: -_Laughs_-I like ya, too! -Snickers-She is! Well, let's mix 'em! (What does that make? Cax? Seke? Oh, sake! -_Snickers_-Let's go with that!) -_Grins_-Prob'ly; keep 'em all out! -_Grins happily_-I still like ta hear it, so, thanks fer still saying (er, typin') it!


	33. Chapter 33

Title: Blondes

Disclaimer: If I owned this would I be here? C'mon people, think!

Setting: Pick one. I'm too lazy/wired to decide.

Summary: Are blondes really that dumb? How long can you answer a blonde's question with another question? Do blondes really have more fun? How quickly do they react when put in a strange situation? How quickly can you annoy a blonde to the point that they scream? What is foreplay for a blonde? How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? How do you confuse a blonde? How do you keep a blonde in suspense? Reno plans on finding out...with Cloud.

Warnings: Um…hmm. Think I've used them all before-_grins_-. Basically, anything I can think up. I'll just see there my mind takes this…could be anywhere-_grins_-. If you've read any of my other stories…you know what you're in for. If not, you'll see!

Side Notes:  
1) This story will have romance at the end…or very close to it.  
2) If you have any suggestions, feel free to send them in a review.  
3) Same goes for any ideas for future chapters...ideas, suggestions; they're different in my little world.  
4) Will end in smut…as some of you who have read my fics already know!!  
5) Each chapter will be a different question.  
6) My spelling sucks...Wordpad...again...  
7) Flames will not be tolerated-_glares evilly_-. This is your only warning.

**Chapter Thirty Three: Purr  
**

"Fine with me," Reno nearly moaned, rocking his hips against Cloud's slowly.

"Good," he growled before rolling them over, taking control as he planned. He surprised the Turk, who was not expecting the sudden change, and quickly began to thrust into the redhead, making him moan heatedly. The redhead tightly wrapped his legs around the blonde as his fingers dung into his back, leaving red, raised trails. Cloud eagerly thrust into Reno, making him groan loudly before the blonde began to suck on his neck, leaving marks that would last for a while. He dipped down lower, leaving similar bite marks along his collar bone, biting occasionally.

Reno screamed loudly, calling out the blonde's name, when he thrust at the right angle. Cloud smirked before pressing his lips roughly against the redhead's, smothering any other screams as he continued to hit the same spot, feeling how the Turk clench tightly around his cock while shuddering. The blonde groaned before reaching between them and grabbing a hold of the redhead's neglected cock, making his scream out once more.

Cloud groaned heatedly as he felt the Turk grow even tighter around him, letting him know that Reno was getting closer to coming. He quickened his thrusts and felt how the redhead's thighs tightened around him, gripping his waist. The blonde moaned loudly as he felt the heat in his abdomen tightening. Sweat trickled down his face as the redhead clung to him even more.

Within a matter of thrusts, they pair came again, screaming their names before collapsing into a lifeless, boneless heap on the floor. For a while, they lied together on the floor, panting, Cloud still buried deep inside of Reno as they struggled to catch their breath.

"Sooo..." Reno panted, looking over to Cloud, who was panting just as much. "Should we cut the cake, 'r eat it with our fingers, yo?"

"Knife," Cloud said breathlessly, looking up at the table. "...I'll cut it."

"Have fun!" Reno said, waving at the blonde, who slowly rose to his feet.

"Yeah, yeah," the blonde muttered, grinning.

Still in his blissful haze, the swordsman searched through the kitchen, eventually finding a serrated knife. He turned to the white frosted cake, cutting out a piece and picking it up with his hand, leaving the knife on the table.

"Ya know," Reno said, snickering when Cloud sat down next to him. "I've got plates. They could help ya out. An' hey, where's my piece?"

Cloud grinned widely as Reno sat up. "Well, I don't need a plate," he said, smirking. Before the Turk could even retort, he was suddenly pushed to the floor with the blonde kneeling over him, smearing the cake across his chest. "See?" he asked, grinning. "No plate necessary."

"Dude! Ya best be thinkin' of a way ta clean that up, yo!" Reno shrieked, his pitch reacting to the chill of the frosting against his warm skin.

"I know of the best way," Cloud growled softly, licking his lips before kissing the Turk, making sure that his chest did not touch the cake on Reno's body. Once he was done kissing the redhead, the blonde leaned down and licked at one of the man's nipples, cleaning off the cake and frosting and making the Turk moan and shift under him. While he did this, he reached un with his cake covered hand, letting the redhead suck on his fingers to clean of the cake and frosting.

Having Cloud's fingers in is mouth made it so all of Reno's groans and moans were muffled, but he did not care as he felt the hot tongue slip across his chest, cleaning a small line on his skin. He could hear the soft moans coming from the blonde above him as he continued to lick him clean, often stopping to suck the frosting off of his skin.

As Cloud dipped lower, eventually reaching Reno's navel, he could feel the Turk's cock starting to harden against his abdomen, knowing that his was doing the same. When he slid his tongue into the redhead's navel, he felt how the thinner man bucked into him, smearing some of the cake across his face in th process while the Turk's legs twitched, his head thrown back and a groan escaping from his lips.

A muffled moan came from Reno as he rotated his hips against Cloud, unable to take the tongue-fucking his navel was receiving. The blonde's free hand gently traveled down his side, making the Turk shudder and squirm under him, making the blonde smirk. The redhead pulled the clean, saliva-slicked fingers out of his mouth.

"Nngh, C-Cloud," Reno shuddered, feeling the hot, wet tongue slipping even lower.

"Hmmmm?" the blonde mumbled, ignoring the cake on the sides of his face.

"Yer...nnngh...g-gonna...oh, fuck..."

"That's the plan," he mumbled, resuming his tasting of the redhead, enjoying the contrast between his sweaty skin and sweet dessert.

"Ya-ya...dear, sweet Lord!" Reno cried out, feeling the blonde slowly lick his sac, nipping gently. "Oh...oh, yeah..."

Cloud grinned lustfully as he ran his tongue down the Turk's thigh, feeling how the muscles quivered and the redhead moaned, writhing underneath him. He suck at a soft, sensitive area between Reno's thigh ans sac, noticing how Reno kicked out and moaned loudly. He then sucked the area even harder, making the Turk scream and buck fiercely.

"C-C-Cloud!" he stuttered, eye rolling into the back of his head. "B-babe, yer- Fuck!"

The blonde grinned as he roughly sucked on the tip of Reno's cock, reaching down to stroke his own cock. Within a few strokes, the blonde came in his hand, tasting the Turk's cum on his tongue as he continued to suck on the crowned head. Removing his mouth, he looked up at the redhead, smiling as the thinner man panted at him.

"That...was quick, Reno," he teased before climbing on all four up to the Turk's level and collapsing on the floor.

"Yer jus' lucky...I didn't fall asleep on ya..." Reno countered, grinning before he curled up around Cloud, resting his head on the blonde's chest.

"Then...why don't we...sleep now?"

"...Good idea..." Before Reno fell asleep, he felt a strange rumbling coming from Cloud's chest. "...Are ya...purrin', yo?"

"...No. Go to sleep."

"...I didn't know that chocobo's purr, yo," he snickered, getting a light smack on the head. "I mean...I know ya wark an' chirp an' all, but never knew ya purred."

"Shut up. ...You talk to much..."

Reno smiled as he curled up on the blonde's chest, making sure to remember that blondes purr, but only after coming a few times...and after cake. As he drifted asleep, the Turk could not help but have the feeling that there was something that he forgot to do, something important. Shrugging it off, the redhead snuggled into the warmth of Cloud as he fell asleep on his kitchen floor.

**End of Chapter Thirty Three  
**

Review for the next chapter. Great news, ya'll! I jus' found out 'm accepted to DeVry! So now, 'm gonna eat a handful of "Confruity Crisp"! 'S an imitation of Fruity Pebbles, fer broke, poor people like me!

Thanks fer reviewing:

**Kaisha Shiori**: -Laughs-No need ta be jealous, they're jus' random ramblin's I have. They can't be that bad! -_Laughs_-Seems like Reno was occupied. Here all 'a ya go!

**tala-fangirl**: True!

**carefreecat**: -_Grins_-Of course they are! Yay! More cookies! -_Twitches_-I can't deny the cute face...

**Stoic-Genius**: -_Laughs_-Yup! Thanks! Here ya go, babe!

**NicotineGum**: -_Laughs_-Yeah, 'm random like that! -Snickers-Well, I don't watch American Idol (only the sucky beginnin's catch my interest!) but I guess when this's done, ya'll have ta read the sequel? Thinkin' it'll be called 'Redheads'.

**Bekas Strife**: -_Laughs_-Yeah! Poor Tifa, her cake is bein' used fer dirty, unpure actions...Oh well! 'S good fer us!

**twice-as-evil-as-you121212**: -_Snickers_-Yup. Thanks!

**yumie-darkness123**: -_Laughs_-True! Mmm...cookies...true!

**d0rkgoddess**: -_Laughs hysterically_-Don't think it's a birthday cake! Granted, now I can't help but think of the "Son of Sam" murders...an' how Reno might jus' enjoy that... 'M odd.


	34. Chapter 34

Title: Blondes

Disclaimer: If I owned this would I be here? C'mon people, think!

Setting: Pick one. I'm too lazy/wired to decide.

Summary: Are blondes really that dumb? How long can you answer a blonde's question with another question? Do blondes really have more fun? How quickly do they react when put in a strange situation? How quickly can you annoy a blonde to the point that they scream? What is foreplay for a blonde? How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? How do you confuse a blonde? How do you keep a blonde in suspense? Reno plans on finding out...with Cloud.

Warnings: Um…hmm. Think I've used them all before-_grins_-. Basically, anything I can think up. I'll just see there my mind takes this…could be anywhere-_grins_-. If you've read any of my other stories…you know what you're in for. If not, you'll see!

Side Notes:  
1) This story will have romance at the end…or very close to it.  
2) If you have any suggestions, feel free to send them in a review.  
3) Same goes for any ideas for future chapters...ideas, suggestions; they're different in my little world.  
4) Will end in smut…as some of you who have read my fics already know!!  
5) Each chapter will be a different question.  
6) My spelling sucks...Wordpad...again...  
7) Flames will not be tolerated-_glares evilly_-. This is your only warning.

**Chapter Thirty Four: Lazy  
**

Reno groaned as he began to wake up, shifting closer to the blonde he was curled against. He cringed as his sticky skin roughly slid against the blonde's skin. "Nnhhh," he moaned, pressing his body tighter against Cloud's. "Yer sticky...yo..."

"It's you," Cloud moaned, tightening his grip around the Turk.

"Oh yeah...I blame ya."

"Don't care."

"...Need...shower..."

"Then get in one," Cloud replied opening his eyes to look at the redheaded Turk.

"Too lazy... Carry me yo?" Reno asked, grinning as he kept his eyes closed.

"Pass."

"Aww, c'mon. Ya said ya were gonna fuck me 'til I couldn't stand...an' I think ya kinda did..."

"Wuss..." Cloud added, chuckling as he rolled Reno off of him and shakily stood up. He grinning down at the Turk before helping him to his feet. "Come on," he said, yawning as he led the redhead to the bathroom, where he planned on carefully cleaning up the both of them before going to sleep in the Turk's bed. They quickly showered before curling under the soft blankets, not really caring that they were still damp and naked. Reno yawned as he plugged back in his phone before attempting to fall back asleep.

As soon as the phone was plugged back in, a shill ringing filled the air. Groaning, Reno just unplugged the phone once more before going to sleep, moaning that he would call the person back later. He snuggled back up to the blonde hero, easily falling asleep as he curled around the swordsman's body, grinning as he heard the blonde purr while he drifted asleep.

Hours later, Reno awoke to the smell of bacon. Smiling greatly as he stretched out, the Turk breathed deeply, licking his lips as he hurried out of bed, wobbling to the kitchen. "What's cookin', good lookin'," the Turk purred as he made his way over to Cloud, who was only wearing a clean, pink apron. "...Where'd ya get that?"

"It was in your closet...and I didn't want to put on pants," Cloud said, blushing. "But...why'd you buy it?"

"Didn't!" Reno said cheerily as he loop his arms around the blonde''s neck, pressing his naked front against the swordsman's back, running his tongue along the man's neck. "My ma gave it to me when she found out I was gay," he replied, smirking. "She thought I would become a model gay; ya know, in love with pink, cookin', cleanin', and goin' shoppin' with her. ...She was _sadly _disappointed."

"Hmm..." Cloud moaned, flipping over the bacon in the pan. "Did you plug in the phone yet?"

"Uhh...yes?"

"...Go do it, Reno."

"Fine," he groaned, walking back into his room and plugging in the phone. Luckily, there was no ringing, so he quickly returned to the blonde's side. Grinning, the Turk returned to the blonde, pressing his body firmly against the swordsman's beck, teasing his neck. "So...what's fer breakfast, yo?"

"Bacon, eggs, and toast," Cloud murmured, biting his bottom lip as the redhead's fingers dipping into the apron, caressing his hips. "...You might make it burn if you keep that up."

"I like crispy bacon," Reno purred as he nipped at the blonde's earring. "But what 're we gonna do today?"

"Who says we have to do anything?"

"I've got energy ta burn," Reno said with a smirk as Cloud flipped over the strips of bacon. "Can't jus' do nothin' all day."

"We can just relax today...let you heal up..."

"...Does that mean no sex?"

"...Maybe..."

"Aww, c'mon yo!"

"Well, let's eat first, then we can decide what we can do..."

"Fine," Reno pouted, making the blonde smile. Suddenly, the phone rang, making the Turk jump. "I'll get it...wouldn't want ya ta neglect the food." The redhead bounced over to the bedroom, before picking up the phone. "'Yello?"

"Reno..." a voice growled out, making the redhead grin nervously. "Did you hang up on me?!"

"...Uhh...maybe, yo?"

"Have you lost your mind?! Do you even know what you're doing?!"

"Of course I do, Tseng-Man! 'M talkin' ta ya!"

"I'm talking about your damn list, you moron!" the Wutian man hissed out.

"...My list?"

"Dear Lord, you forgot?! ...Let me refresh your memory!"

"...Okay?"

"What are blondes afraid of?"

"Ohh..."

"How long can you anger a blonde before they scream?!"

"...Shit...ya found that?"

"Found? _FOUND_?! ...No, Reno, I didn't **_FIND _**it because you didn't **_HIDE _**it! You left it in plain sight!" Reno grinned meekly as he listened to his boss snap. "Just... Just tell me that _Cloud's_ not the blonde in your ridiculous game..."

"Umm...okay..."

"...He is, isn't he?"

"...Yeah..."

"**_HAVE YOU FUCKING LOST YOUR MIND_**?!"

"Woah...no need ta get snippy, yo..."

"No need?! _NO NEED_?! There is **_every _**need, Reno!"

"Why? No one's hurt..."

"_YET_!! What do you thinks going to happen when he finds out?!"

"...Uhh..."

"...You haven't thought that far ahead, have you?"

"Nope!"

"Reno..." Tseng growled darkly. "I mean this from the bottom of my heart: YOU'RE A FUCKING RETARD!"

"Sheesh, yo! Ya've never been this pissed 'fore!"

"Maybe because you've never decided to play mental games with one of the planet's most psychotic blondes! Ever think of that?!"

"...No?"

"...I swear to God, Reno-"

"Breakfast is ready!" Cloud called out, getting the redheaded Turk's attention.

"Gotta go, Boss-Man!" Reno said, glad to be ending the phone call.

"Reno don't you _dare_-"

"Buh-bye!" As soon as he could, the redhead hung up the phone, cutting off the dark-haired man and hurrying out of the bedroom. "Smells good!" Cloud grinned as he placed the plates on the table and sat down. "So," Reno said, licking his lips as he sat down. "Got any ideas for today?"

"I suggest we lay in bed all day and relax," the blonde offered, smiling.

"...Yer feelin' really lazy today, ain'tchya?"

"Not particularly, no."

Reno grinned, guessing that all blonde's were either just lazy, or his was a special one. "Well, how's 'bout we improvise, yo?"

"Improvise?"

**End of Chapter Thirty Four  
**

Review for the next chapter.

Thanks fer reviewing:

**Bekas Strife**: -_Laughs_-Let's watch an' see how he reacts!

**yumie-darkness123**: Yup! He's a one-of-a-kind! Thanks! -_Snickers_-Fruity as in the fruit, or fruity as in -_flamboyantly_-**_fruity_**! Either way, yay, I'll take 'em!

**Toons**: Thanks, I think so, too!

**carefreecat**: -_Grins_-Yup! He's fuz-tastic! Here a go!

**twice-as-evil-as-you121212**: Hiya! Hmm... I'd like a combo plate! Awww, thanks, sweetheart! -Laughs-Then I'll have ta try ta do it justice (then fail an' jus' have fun doin' it my way!).

**d0rkgoddess**: -_Laughs_-YEAH! Let's try that out (on either this fic or the sequel). -_Grins_-Ain't it?

**CupCake-SweetTreats**: 'S all right, sweetie. No apologizes necessary. Here ya go, an' thanks!

**Kaisha Shiori**: -_Laughs_-Well, looks like Reno's gotta find somethin' ta do while locked in there... -_Grins pervertedly_-Does he have a picture of Cloud in there? If so, I think his day's full. Well, wait not more, sweetie!

**NicotineGum**: -_Grins_-Well, who doesn't?! Ya'll see...

**leslie**: -_Laughs_-That's all right (prob'ly best that ya didn't get caught readin' it). -_Snickers_-An' it even has 'fruity' in the name!

**LittleLoneLiar**: -_Laughs_-Did I scar ya, babe? Hmm...prob'ly similar thin's to each other! Thanks!

**Maumse**: -_Grins_-Thanks! yeah, he is, but he's a great cheeseball! -_Grins_-Caught me! Awww, thanks sweetie-pie! -_Snickers_-Yup! Uhh...three, I think? Thanks, once more!

**Stoic-Genius**: -_Laughs_-True! -_Laughs_-I hadn't thought of that! Thanks!

**D3OPH3ST**: Thanks, sweetheart! -_Snickers_-Ain't it? Wait no more!

**reikoyazumi**: -_Laughs_-Woah, dude, at first I thought this was a flame! -_Snickers_-I'll take that as a good thin'. Get yer rest, sweetie!

**Rin-chan101093**: -_Twitches_-Aww, the face...an' the sweets! Thanks! Sorry fer the wait, sweetheart, here ya go!


	35. Chapter 35

Title: Blondes

Disclaimer: If I owned this would I be here? C'mon people, think!

Setting: Pick one. I'm too lazy/wired to decide.

Summary: Are blondes really that dumb? How long can you answer a blonde's question with another question? Do blondes really have more fun? How quickly do they react when put in a strange situation? How quickly can you annoy a blonde to the point that they scream? What is foreplay for a blonde? How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? How do you confuse a blonde? How do you keep a blonde in suspense? Reno plans on finding out...with Cloud.

Warnings: Um…hmm. Think I've used them all before-_grins_-. Basically, anything I can think up. I'll just see there my mind takes this…could be anywhere-_grins_-. If you've read any of my other stories…you know what you're in for. If not, you'll see!

Side Notes:  
1) This story will have romance at the end…or very close to it.  
2) If you have any suggestions, feel free to send them in a review.  
3) Same goes for any ideas for future chapters...ideas, suggestions; they're different in my little world.  
4) Will end in smut…as some of you who have read my fics already know!!  
5) Each chapter will be a different question.  
6) My spelling sucks...Wordpad...again...  
7) Flames will not be tolerated-_glares evilly_-. This is your only warning.

**Chapter Thirty Five: Distract  
**

"Yeah, improvise!" Reno said as he practically inhaled a strip of bacon, not noticing how Cloud grinned as he ate another in the same way. "...Wha'?"

"Nothing," Cloud said, smiling to himself as he watched the Turk eat everything on his plate as he ate from his own. "Not a thing. ...Now, how could we improvise?"

"Uhh...let's jus'...go with it?" he suggested, grinning. Hearing this, the blonde chuckled.

"Sounds like a plan," the swordsman agreed, taking the redhead's hand once they were finished eating. He led the Turk back into the bedroom, not seeing how a large grin spread over the redhead's face.

"'M likin' where this's goin'!" Reno purred / cheered before eagerly jumping onto his bed, lying sprawled out in front of Cloud. "Mmm, take me, Pretty-boy!"

"'Pretty-boy'?" Cloud asked, chuckling softly as he looked down at the redhead. "You really think that will get me to 'take you'?"

"'S worth a shot." Suddenly, the thinner of the two had a devious look in his eyes. "Then again...if ya don' wanna come in me, I can still get off!" The blonde was puzzled for a few seconds before he saw the long fingertips slip down his chest while the Turk spread his legs even more, making the blonde fidget where he stood. Reno grinned as he watched the bulge in the front of the vibrant, pink apron grow as his hands slid down his body. He moaned obscenely as he hands rubbed down his hips and inner thighs, his cock standing rigid for Cloud's attention.

The Turk smirked as he watched his lover struggle to undo the knot he tied in the back of the apron. Once he was able to get the material away from his skin, the blonde lunged towards the bed, his body roughly colliding with the redhead's as he landed on top of him. As Reno caught his breath, he realized that Cloud was pressing needy kisses along his neck and shoulders, a hard heat pressing into his hip as rough fingers gently roamed down his sides. He moaned again as the fingers ran down his inner thighs, making his body arch off of the bed and closer to the swordsman.

"Ya didn't even let me jack off," Reno whined in Cloud's ear, his tone letting the blonde know that he was not actually upset with him.

"I guess I couldn't control myself," the blonde purred before he wrapped his fingers around the Turk's dripping cock. "You make it hard not to ravish you."

"I'll take that as a compliment, yo."

"Do you still want to masturbate in front of me?"

"Think ya can keep yer hands offa me, Cloudy-Cakes?"

"I highly doubt that."

"Deal!"

Cloud chuckled as he reluctantly rolled off of the redhead. Immediately he missed the warmth that radiated from the Turk. The blonde rose to his knees and positioned himself so he would be sitting between Reno's thighs, giving himself a good angle to watch the thinner man pleasure himself. The redhead looked up at him and grinned lustfully at him and ran his hand teasingly down his stomach, noticing how the blonde swordsman twitched in need.

The Turk moaned as he wrapped his long fingers around his cock, slowly tightening his grip around his base before stroking himself heatedly. He looked over at Cloud and watched as the leader of Avalanche licked his lips as he stroked his own cock. Reno grinned sensually at him as he spread his legs even more, knowing that the blonde would not miss the movement. As he continued to rub himself, the Turk arched his back and moaned, knowing that it would drive the blonde in a frenzy. Said blonde leaned forward, closing the gap between their bodies as they continued to pleasure themselves.

Finally, having had enough, Cloud lunged forward and trust his tongue into the redhead's mouth making Reno groan before kissing him back. The blonde pulled the Turk's hands away from his cock and he ground his hips into the pale man's underneath him, feeling how he arched into the friction. Reno fingernails dug into his back as his legs wrapped around the blonde's lower back, pressing their bodies even close together. The swordsman moaned as he broke the kiss, listening to how the redhead panted as he struggled to regain his breathing.

"Are you sure you're ready to go again?" Cloud asked, concerned about the comfort for his Turk.

"Ya've got two options, Cloud. _Make _me come, or _watch _me come," Reno purred. "Which is it?"

Instead of responding verbally, Cloud just reclaimed the redhead's lips with a low growl, his hands taking a hold of Reno's thighs. He rocked his hips against the Turk's, feeling proud of the loud moan that he received. The blonde found himself unable to wait and quickly entered the redhead, making him moan into his mouth again. He reveled in the hot, pleased sounds that came from the man under him as he sucked on his neck and began to thrust in and out of him, making the bed rock and marking the pale skin once more.

Cloud began to pant the Turk's name into his ear as he rammed deeply into the body beneath him. He could hear Reno screaming his name at the same time, making the blonde feel light and giddy inside. He grinned as he roughly stroked the redheaded Turk's cock, making him scream even louder until they climaxed. AS he rolled off of the thin man, the swordsman could not help but see the large, satisfied, goofy smile on the Turk's face. He knew that he was smiling also, but could not help it as he looked over at the small bedside table.

Suddenly, Cloud noticed a slip of paper that he had not seen before. Picking it up, he failed to notice the nervous look on the redhead's face. before he could even read what was on the paper, Reno had lunged on top of him and was attempting to see just how far he could ram him tongue down the blonde's throat. While the blonde was distracted, and the redhead was glad that he was so easily distracted, he took the paper out of his hand and crumpled it into a paper ball before throwing it across the room. Reno broke the kiss licking his lips as he looked down at the stunned, breathless blonde.

"Got something on yer mind, yo?" he asked sweetly while Cloud just blinked. Instead of answering him, the blonde just pulled him down for another kiss, making the Turk extremely glad that he was easy to distract.

**End of Chapter Thirty Five  
**

Review for the next chapter. Sorry fer the ridiculously long wait, got sidetracked...again. I had no idea what ta do fer this chapter so, I decided ta do another lemon! Enjoy! An' I know, it's short.

Thanks fer reviewing:

**Bekas Strife**: Knowin' him...he might not get very far... He's like a white girl runnin' in a horror film; he'd trip! -_Laughs_-! An' he will (talkin' 'bout Cloud findin' out, mind ya)!

**Favrite of Chaos**: Ohh...he'd have that recipe, too! Franks 'n' beans (thanks)!

**Silver Tears 11**: -_Grins_-...I could... The vein in his forhead would prob'ly look like it would burst-_laughs_-! Thanks!

**yumie-darkness123**: -_Laughs_-Yup! Yay! He can terrorize the other plushie-dolls! ...Then fuck some of 'em!

**d0rkgoddess**: Yup! -_Snickers_-Anythin' can happen! 'Cept m-preg-_shudders_-!

**LittleLoneLiar**: -_Laughs_-Nah, sweetie, scar, not scar, yanno, mental trauma? ...That makes me kinda curious... -_Snickers_-Never heard of it...or FOD!

**CupCake-SweetTreats**: Yup! -_Grins_-I'd be happy ta, sweetheart! 'M on vacation 'til the 7th so I've got plenty of time! ...Even then I'll have plenty of time! If ya need my e-mail address, jus' ask! -_Laughs_-I won't bite!

**Organization13**: -_Laughs_-I fear no stalker! 'M practically certifiable so, I think _ya'll _might be the one's ta worry-_laughs hysterically_-! Glad ta hear ya liked 'em! Happy stalkin'!

**carefreecat**: -_Snickers_-Could be... Wait no more!

**Rin-chan101093**: -_Laughs_-Nope! -_Snickers_-Well, hope ya had fun, an' sorry fer makin' ya wait!

**tala-fangirl**: Thanks, sweetie!

**Toons**: -_Grins_-Ya'll see! -_Laughs_-Well, 'm here ta remind ya'll!

**GumLime Pirate**: -_Laughs_-True! -_Snickers_-Thanks!

**Kaisha Shiori**: -_Laughs_-Poor Reno...least he'll have a fun shower! Thanks!

**NiteKatS**: Awww, thanks! Sure do! An' a sequel, too! ...Which 's odd, 'cause I've got short sleeves... Oh well!

**Stoic-Genius**: Yup! -_Snickers_-That was one of my favorite parts of his rant! Here ya go, sweetie.

**D3OPH3ST**: -_Grins_-Yup! 'S like ya can read my mind!

**celes87**: Aww, thankies! -_Laughs_-That can be easily explain...hopefully this chapter'll go over it!

**Mako Blue Reactor**: -_Laughs_-No worries! I plan on finishin' this one! Thanks fer the heads-up on the name change!

**NicotineGum**: He will, no doubt 'bout that! -_Laughs evilly_-Lets!

**Nyan Nyan Nyanko**: Aww, thanks, sweetheart! Same here!


	36. Chapter 36

Title: Blondes

Disclaimer: If I owned this would I be here? C'mon people, think!

Setting: Pick one. I'm too lazy/wired to decide.

Summary: Are blondes really that dumb? How long can you answer a blonde's question with another question? Do blondes really have more fun? How quickly do they react when put in a strange situation? How quickly can you annoy a blonde to the point that they scream? What is foreplay for a blonde? How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? How do you confuse a blonde? How do you keep a blonde in suspense? Reno plans on finding out...with Cloud.

Warnings: Um…hmm. Think I've used them all before-_grins_-. Basically, anything I can think up. I'll just see there my mind takes this…could be anywhere-_grins_-. If you've read any of my other stories…you know what you're in for. If not, you'll see!

Side Notes:  
1) This story will have romance at the end…or very close to it.  
2) If you have any suggestions, feel free to send them in a review.  
3) Same goes for any ideas for future chapters...ideas, suggestions; they're different in my little world.  
4) Will end in smut…as some of you who have read my fics already know!!  
5) Each chapter will be a different question.  
6) My spelling sucks...Wordpad...again...  
7) Flames will not be tolerated-_glares evilly_-. This is your only warning.

**Chapter Thirty Six: Curious / Crazy  
**

Once the kiss was broken, Cloud licked his lips, a wide, goofy smile growing across his face. "I think I know of something else we can do," the blonde said as he ran his fingers down Reno's spine, feeling the shiver that ran down his back.

"Really now?" the Turk asked, smirking in triumph. "An' what's that, yo?"

"Let's take a shower," he offered, letting his hands slip lower so he could grip the redhead's ass.

"I like that idea!" Reno said, grinning widely as he climbed off of the swordsman, not noticing how the blonde was smiling at him. Cloud rose to his feet also, smiling as he wrapped his arms around the thinner man. "Bath or shower?" the Turk asked, smirking.

"Mmm, bath," the blonde replied, making the redhead grinned before sprinting into the bathroom. "I'm going to go put away your apron!" Cloud called out while his Turk began to fill the tub. Getting a wave from the man, the blonde turned to pick up the discarded fabric, his eyes landing on the crumpled ball of paper. Furtively looking around the room, and making sure that Reno could not see him, he picked up the piece of paper before heading into the kitchen. As he put the apron away, the blonde fumbled around for a place that he could hide the ball of paper where the Turk would not find it, giving him time to read it when the redhead was not around.

"CLOUD!" Reno yelled out, making the man in question jump. "BATH'S READY!"

"I'LL BE RIGHT THERE!" he yelled back, quickly placing the paper in the utensil drawer, underneath the spoons. Cloud hurried back into the bedroom before walking into the steamy bathroom, rising an eyebrow at the obvious amount of heat of the water. Reno just smirked at him from the tub, where he was lounging in hot water and a large amount of bubbles.

"Gonna join me, yo?"

"What's with the bubbles?"

"Why wouldn't ya have bubbles, Cloudy-Cakes?"

"Why _would _you have bubbles?"

"Why not?"

"...You're never going to tell me why you bought bubbles, huh?" Cloud asked, grinning as he slipped into the bath.

Reno grinned at him before saying, "I like bubbles, yo."

The blonde just shook his head, chuckling as he relaxed into the heat, his body lying flushed against the paler man's. Cloud purred softly as he wrapped his arms around Reno's waist, pulling their bodies closer together. As he snuggled into the warm body, which was in even hotter water, the swordsman could hear his silent laughter. Curious, the leader of Avalanche looked up and saw the thinner man biting his lip as he shook, trying not to burst out with laughter.

"What's so funny?" Cloud asked, narrowing his eyes as the redheaded Turk burst out laughing, unable to keep quiet for much longer. Instead of answering, the redhead continued to laugh hysterically, tears rolling down his face while he clutched his sides, his lungs feeling as if they would burst. Left eye twitching, the blonde patiently waited for the laughter to stop, and when that failed, he attempted to leave the bathtub, snarling darkly. He did not get very far as the Turk grabbed a hold of him and pulled him back down, making water and bubbles splash out of the tub as they struggled. The skirmish ended with Reno firmly sitting on top of the blonde's waist, pinning his shoulders into the metal side as he struggled to hold the furious man down.

"Calm down, Cloudy-Cakes!" Reno said, getting a fierce glare from the foamy, soaked man. "Why'd ya get so worked up when I was laughin', yo?"

"...I..." Cloud paused, looking away from the thinner man sitting on top of him. He frowned when he was forced to look at the redhead again. "...I...don't like being laughed at, okay?"

Hearing this, the Turk paused before cooing. "Awww! My widdle Cwoudy-puss 's self-conscious!"

"Shut up!" the blonde hissed, glaring darkly at the grinning redhead.

"Gimme a hug, ya adorable sweetheart, you!!"

"That's it! I'm leaving!"

"Calm down, yo," Reno said, smiling widely. "Ya need ta relax! I was laughin' earlier 'cause I never would 'a guessed that ya were one ta cuddle in a bath. Don't think **_anyone _**would 'a been able ta guess that!"

"...And that was funny?"

"Hilarious! 'Specially if ya could 'ave seen it yerself! But 'least now I know ya've got issues with yer self-esteem."

"Reno-"

"Uh-uh-uh! We're gonna fix that 'fore ya go completely emo on me, oh Prince!"

"...You're having a great time with this, aren't you?"

"Yup!"

"Can't we just bathe? Then we can do something else for fun."

"Each other?"

"Reno!" Cloud hissed turning bright red. "We **_just _**did that! Not even ten minutes ago!"

"Ya look like a drowned cat, Chocobo-Head!" Reno shrieked, laughing once more as the blonde growled. "C'mon! Turn that frown upside-down!"

"You need mental help, Reno."

The Turk just grinned as the blonde smiled slightly. Though, he followed Cloud's request and they bathed their lover so they could move on to do something else. Once they were dried off, Reno suggesting that they shared a towel, getting the blonde to shake his head before towel-whipping the redhead on the ass. Grinning playfully, the thinner man chased the blonde throughout the apartment with the spare towel. When the pair finally gave up, the Turk collapsed on the couch, his chest heaving while the blonde decided that he was going to cook, once more.

Reno, having relaxed on top of his couch, turned on his television and forgot all about his list, which was supposed to be lying on the floor of his room. Cloud, on the other hand, pulled out all the ingredients he needed to make his next culinary creation to get the thin man to eat more. Every few seconds, his eyes darted to the drawer that held the paper before darting to the living room. Taking a deep breath, the blonde tried to calm his nerves, thinking that there was nothing for him to worry about because the Turk would not keep any secrets from him. The swordsman opened the drawer and quietly pulled out the piece of paper, slowly un-crinkling so as to not get the redhead's attention.

Once the paper ball was uncurled, Cloud read over the contents, confused. As he read over the questions and answers, he noticed that there was one common factor in all of it: a blonde. Finally putting all of the pieces together, the blonde's eyes widened in realization. Furious, he went over to the living room to confront Reno about the odd list.

"Reno," Cloud growled, tightly holding onto the paper. "What the fuck is this?!"

Seeing the list, the redhead pale considerably, Tseng's words coming back to haunt him.

"Uhh...didn't anyone tell ya that 'curiosity killed the cat'?" he replied, hoping that he would not get skinned alive.

* * *

I was originally gonna end it here, but I decided ta end this fic with an' even number of chapters. Plus, I think after all the times that I made ya'll wait fer updates that ya deserve a two-fer-one deal...granted, it's free, oh well. Plus, I wasted over a year of ya'll 's lives, so let's end it with a big...all right 's medium, so what...finale!

* * *

Cloud's eye twitched furiously as he glared darkly at the nervous redhead. "Answer the question!" he growled, getting a bit of satisfaction from how nervous he made the Turk.

"Tseng called ya the world's biggest psychopath!" Reno shouted, hoping to get the blonde angry at someone else.

"WHAT?!"

"He did! He said it when he called earlier, yo! I swear!"

"...I'll...I'll deal with him, later," Cloud growled deeply, still glaring at the Turk. "But I'm going to deal with you first!"

With that short sentence, all of Reno's hopes for mercy crashed and burned in a fire-y blaze. The furious blonde suddenly smirked almost evilly at him, effectively creeping the redhead out. Without saying anything, Cloud calmly sat down on the couch, smiling at the man who was convinced that he was going to be slaughtered by the blonde sitting down next to him.

"Was this all a game to you?" he asked calmly, oddly reminding Reno of a calm before a storm.

"What?" the redhead asked, trying not to have his voice squeak or waver.

"Was all of this a sick bet to you and the other Turks? Some sort of conquest?"

"What? Ya mean _us_?"

"Yes," Cloud said, staring blankly at Reno in the eyes, looking far too calm for the situation. "What are we; a joke?"

"No! Never, yo!" Reno yelled, shocked that the blonde woud have thought that he was not serious when he was with him.

"It makes sense, though," he commented. "Your odd behavior, recently."

"Hey! What odd behavior?!" the thinner man snapped, frowning and haven forgotten his fears.

"When you forgot who your boss was? ...Wait a minute...the clown!!" Reno chuckled meekly as he slowly scooted away from the infuriated man. Cloud clenched his fists as he shook with rage, his glare almost making the Turk tremble with fear. "How did you know about the clown?"

"Uhh...honestly?"

"What do you think?!"

"I...kinda read 'bout it, yo." Getting a strange look from the swordsman, he knew that he had little choice but to continue speaking. "...In...well, I think it was yer diary, Strifey-kins."

"I don't own a diary!"

"Really, now? Be honest; no one's gonna judge ya," Reno said with a grin, noticing the embarrassed blush on Cloud's face.

"You know what! I'm not discussing that with you!" the blonde snapped.

"Admittin' it's the first step towards feelin' better, yo."

"Reno, admitting you have a problem is the first step towards fixing that problem, not towards feeling better!"

"Ya don't think havin' a diary's a problem? What are ya, a twelve year old girl?!"

"I need some time to process this..." Cloud muttered before walking into Reno's room, and locking the door behind him.

"Yer hidin' from me in my own room?! What...the...fuck...?"

Reno stared at his closed door for a while, wondering just how long the blonde was going to keep himself inside the room. Shrugging, and counting his blessings that he was not thrown out of a window, he went into the kitchen and put away all of the food that Cloud took out. He looked around the refrigerator for something to snack on, and grinned widely once he saw the bananas. He knew that he could use them to get back onto the blonde's good side, so he left them alone and pulled out a small container of yogurt instead. As he waked towards the couch, the redheaded Turk paused, hearing someone talking.

Confused, the redhead carefully walked towards the sound, guessing that any loud, sudden sounds would cause his favorite 'prince' to go on a killing spree. Reno paused once he found himself staring at the door to his room. Blinking, he pressed his ear to the door listening to the raging blonde.

"Oooh, he has no idea what he's gotten himself into!" Cloud practically seethed.

Suddenly, Reno jumped as loud laughter could be heard from the swordsman. At the crazed, maniacal laughter, the redhead quickly backed away from the door with wide eyes. He opened his container of yogurt once he was comfortably seated at the section furthest from his room, carefully eying the door. He could still hear the laughter, which was when he decided that the blonde was insane and he was going to die. The door swung open, making the redhead jump in his seat before looking over at Cloud, who was still as naked as he was.

"Uhh...have a good phone call?" Reno asked, as he ate a spoonful of strawberry yogurt.

"I wasn't on the phone," Cloud said looking puzzled.

"Of course not, yo."

"Okay...I've come to a decision."

"All right, fine, just no swears on my tombstone, 'kay?"

"...What?"

"When ya kill me, no swears on my tombstone."

"I'm not killing you, Reno," Cloud said with a slight smile.

"Really?" Reno asked, looking hopeful. The blonde nodded and the redhead smiled gratefully. "Then 'm gettin' a banana!"

Before Cloud could say anything, the redhead sprung up from his seat and dash into the kitchen and grabbed himself one of the fruits. He sat back down next to the leader, quiet roughly, before he decided to give him a show.

"Though, Reno," the blonde said, smiling slightly while the Turk focused on the yellow fruit in his hands. "You aren't getting off that easy." He paused, twitching once he saw the pale man lap at the tip with his tongue. "I will get revenge for your game of questions. And you will...will... ... ...Will you stop that?!" Reno grinned as he moaned softly, running his tongue up and down the fruit before he decided to deep throat it, making the blonde squirm in his seat.

"Go on," Reno purred before pushing the long fruit back into his mouth, noticing exactly how Cloud reacted to it.

"Err...well...I'll...ngh...I'm going to get my revenge on you!" he snapped before pulling the Turk into a kiss, the banana still being held onto by said Turk. "And you won't be able to stop me!"

"Wouldn't dream of it, yo."

"You won't even see it coming."

"...Why do I get the feelin' that I've jus' opened the Gates of Hell?"

"Because you did," Cloud answered with a dark smirk. "As you'll see."

"Yer kinda dark, Cloudy."

"You don't know the half of it."

"An' crazy!...But ya know what, I didn't find the answer to the most important question of all!"

"And what's that?"

"Do blondes really have more fun?"

Hearing the question Cloud chuckled somewhat darkly, making the hair on the redhead's arms and nape of his neck stand up. "Oh, no worries about that one; we _always _have more fun." Little did Reno know, the blonde was willing to prove it, too.

**End of Chapter Thirty Six  
**

Review an' tell me what ya thought! Remember: the sequel's gonna be called "Redheads"! So keep yer eyes out fer it, ya'll!

Thanks fer reviewing:

**Favrite of Chaos**: -_Laughs_-If ya think tha' he can actually accomplish that, ya've got more faith in him than I do! Granted, it might be stupidity instead of faith...either way, let's see how he does!

**yumie-darkness123**: Yup!

**Mako Blue Reactor**: -_Grins_-Yup, I think ya do! -_Eases away from mob_-So here's an update ta keep ya'll happy! Hopefully tha' 's a good 'nough bribe! True, unlike someone else I know -_cough_-**Maumse**-_cough_- who changes her penname like there's no freakin' tomorrow (still love ya though, sweetie-even though ya can be unpredictable)!

**Bekas Strife**: -_Snickers_-Doubt if anyone could!

**Toons**: -_Laughs_-I was gonna say; he already ended up on the end of **_that _**Buster Sword! Here's an update fer ya.

**celes87**: -_Grins_-I'll keep that in mind fer the sequel! Thanks!

**carefreecat**: Yup! Wait no more, sweetie!

**Kaisha Shiori**: -_Snickers uncontrollably_-Reno's a crafty one, ya gotta admit.

**Organization13**: -_Snickers_-Think we all do!

**D3OPH3ST**: -_Laughs_-I'll take that as a good thin'! Here ya go, sweetie!

**LittleLoneLiar**: Okay...sorry, 'm bad with dealin' with death; 'm either detached 'r break down (usually both). Umm...hmm...is yer dad gay? -_Grins meekly_-Sorry, all I can focus on from that sentence. I got some jumbo band-aids if ya need 'em...my dad got 'em fer me 'cause I accidentally sliced deeply into two of my fingers...'m blonde, couldn't be avoided. Aww, well, I hope ya get through it all right.

**foxy-comic-death**: Aww, thanks, sweetheart!

**Stoic-Genius**: -_Laughs_-That he is! -_Snickers_-Let's find out! My bet's on not fer long.

**GumLime Pirate**: -_Laughs_-Well, hopefully I helped ya with that topic. Uhh...well...I dunno; I'd guess so! -_Laughs_-. Okay, Sweet-Cakes! -_Snickers_-Well, maybe ya wouldn't have ta if ya didn't change accounts so often. Maybe ya'll learn not ta do that more, huh?


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